Review: The Horde (2010)

"It's about time that zombies attacked France..."

Cast Members of Note- Claude Perron, Jeffrey Dean Morgan Jean-Pierre Martin, Eriq Ebouaney, Doudou Masta, and Yves Pignot as Pappy.

Having lost a loved one at the hands of gangsters, a family of French Cops sets out for revenge. The Plan? Storm the oddly abandoned hi-rise apartment building that they use as their hideout, and kill them all. Thank god Police don't so shady things like that in America.

Alright guys, sorry. Maybe Cops in America do get out of line sometimes.

Of course everything goes wrong with this mission, and instead of getting revenge, the vigilante Cops catch an ass-whipping and come close to being executed by the thugs... until Zombie Apocalypse arrives in the nick of time to save their asses and changes everything! Not sure why it happened, or how, but Zombie Apocalypse sure set the French sky ablaze for some reason?

Maybe the zombies are on fire, or they explode or something?

Forced to team up to survive, the rival factions are then forced to team up with a crazy old man named Pappy, mainly because he has a frigging howitzer, and seems to enjoy making hordes of zombies into piles of what strongly resembles pulled pork. I have to say that this group of survivors is very diverse: old and young, black and white, man and woman... it would have been neat to have seen them add a dwarf or a guy in a wheelchair for context though. Still, it's progress.

That guy really reminds me of Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Anyway, the point of the whole thing is for the group to make it from the top of the hi-rise to the bottom, and go outside. I don't get it, because that's where all the zombies are, but who am I to criticize. Can they learn to overcome their differences and work together to survive? Will they escape the building of death? Will Pappy have a stroke before all is said and done? Let me just say this: leave it to the bitter woman to screw things up.

Apparently, there's nowhere to hide.

 

The French have done it again. Following in the blood soaked footprints left by the Horror films of the... well, The French, La Horde is a wet, messy, overtly violent, blood-soaked and rollicking good zombie time! Don't look for characters to love, explanations as to what happened to cause the zombie outbreak, or for a deep plot, because you won't be satisfied if you do. Love this movie simply because it's action-packed and littered with bloody bodies.

The actors did a nice job too at being bad-ass, especially the crazy old war veteran whom I affectionately named Pappy. The guy kicks all sorts of ass, and that's saying a lot considering he was surrounded by younger, tougher bad asses and still seemed to shine. Jean-Pierre Martins (Jeffrey Dean Morgan's French cousin) and Eriq Ebouaney were fun as hell to watch too.

You may be bat-shit nuts, but we love you, Pappy.

Are we ever going to get a new, true zombie flick? I like the infected zombie thing, but I really miss the whole "rising from the grave" type of zombie flick. Sure, different times call for different stimuli, and I know that things evolve (especially with film), but once in a while I'd just like to see an old staple revisited, especially with the way modern Horror filmmakers tackle their projects. Maybe that's why we loved Dead Snow so much?

Then again, it's terrifying either way.

***ENDING SPOILERS*** What was with that ending? I get why it went down the way it did, but I just can't swallow the fact that a sudden zombie invasion wouldn't change someones perspective on things enough to... stay their hand. If someone repeatedly fought to save my life, I'd probably be all kinds of thankful rather than holding onto any grudge I may have previously had with them. I can't say much more on this topic less I spoil things, but trust me when I say it was a bit of a let down.

Friends until the end?

I don't want to give the impression that this movie was a wall-to-wall Gorefest, but it was all kinds of bloody; Pappy with his machine-gun was responsible for dispatching probably 60+ zombies alone, and in nasty fashion, I might add. If you love the wet and nasty stuff, you will love this movie.

Bloody fun, this movie is.

No. I'm disappointed in you, France. You of all countries know the value of sex and nudity in film, and yet you have failed us here. Merde!

This movie gets no more scandalous than these pokies. Boo!

The French have issues. Also, never mess with black gangsters in France... they really take tough to a whole new level over there.

Mon dieu!

Not quite what I thought it would be, La Horde is a pretty awesome little zombie flick none the less. Packed with tons of action and copious amounts of blood, French Horror filmmakers continue to push the genre ahead while American Horror filmmakers scratch their collective head and wonder "How'd they pull that off?" If you like zombie/infected flicks, then I can't see how you won't love this one.

B

The Horde is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.

She's in this.