Netflix Review: The Babysitter (2017)

"If John Hughes made a Horror movie..."

A great Horror Comedy is a rare thing.
 
Over the past few years, some really great Horror Comedies have come our way. Movies like Deathgasm, Cooties, What We Do in the Shadows, The Final Girls, and Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse have entertained the hell out of us in their own special ways, and they stand above their peers in quality.

We're happy to say that The Babysitter can join that short list with pride, as it's the most fun we've had watching a genre flick all year.

*This review is going to contain some spoiler-ish material, but we won't spoil anything the trailer didn't give away.

Cole is a timid yet lovable 12-year-old kid who's afraid of needles, gets bullied at school, and has the hottest babysitter that has ever been know to man, Bee. Bee is a sexy, witty, closet nerd who really likes Cole, and they spend their time together nerding-out about Sci-Fi flicks and discussing how Cole should put the moves on the neighbor girl.

BUT UNDERSTANDABLY, COLE IS A BIT TOO IN LOVE WITH BEE TO GO MESSING WITH OTHER GIRLS.

Bee is also an insane Satanist who needs sacrificial blood to make the dark spells in her evil book come to life. Cole is supposed to be sleeping when Bee and her Satanic Scooby Gang decide to offer their latest sacrifice to Gog, but instead he witnesses the act, which puts him at deadly odds with Bee.

...and we've already said too much.

SHE'S ABOUT TO LOSE HER SHIT.

Gory, funny as hell, sexy, and oddly touching, The Babysitter is one of the best genre flicks that we've seen this year. Somehow, McG made the crazy plot (and even crazier visuals) work, where they should have made for a silly mess of a flick.

And the real surprise was that the movie had some sentimentality going for it, in the form of Bee and Cole's friendship. Sure, Bee is a crazy Satanist and all, but she genuinely cares for Cole, and the way that played out gave the movie a John Hughes-esque quality. Samara Weaving and Judah Lewis made the movie special.

Speaking of Samara Weaving (Hugo's niece), she's a star in the making. Not only is she gorgeous, but she's got range; she's got these insane looking eyes that go from wicked to tender on command, and even though she's the movie's big bad, we couldn't help but love her character. She was the heart of this movie, and she rocked it.

And to be honest, everyone else in the cast delivered as well, every one of them making us laugh. Robbie Amell is surprisingly funny, and I don't know where in the hell Andrew Bachelor came from, but dude had us rolling.

The only part of the movie that didn't jibe with us was the part with the car, but that's a small thing considering how much fun the rest of the movie was.

AND LET US NOT FORGET ABOUT BELLA. SHE SPECIAL.

The blood flows freely in this one, including some creative fire poker usage, gun violence, throat slitting, and neck skewering.

HE PROBABLY HAS AIDS NOW.

Aside from Robbie Amell going shirtless, there's no nudity here. There is, however, a kiss between Samara Weaving and Bella Thorne that makes the sapphic kisses from movies like Jennifer's Body and Wild Things look like amateur hour.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!

"All that blood was just in his boner."
"Carrie would have been better is she was black. She would have been covered in Hennessy."
"What the hell are you wearing? Lookin' like Big Bird's side-bitch."
"Why is he shirtless?"

BIG BIRD'S SIDE-BITCH.

Wat a genuinely pleasant surprise this movie was. Where we expected The Babysitter to underwhelm, it instead spent 90-minutes making us laugh, and left us marveling at how clever it all was. McG still has a stupid name, but if he keeps making movies like this, we might just end up being fans of his.

See it, and see it now.

A-

The Babysitter is streaming now on Netflix.

Samara and Bella might be the sexiest babysitter tandem ever.