VOD Review: Miss Meadows (2014)

(aka Tom Cruise Did This.)
Release Date: November 14th.
Country: USA.. 
Rating: Unrated.
Written & Directed by: Karen Leigh Hopkins.
Starring: Katie Holmes, James Badge Dale, Callan Mulvey, Jean Smart, Mary Kay Place, and Ava Kolker.

If you've seen the 1994 John Waters movie, Serial Mom, then you have a pretty good idea of what to expect from Miss Meadows: both movies involve prim & proper women who just so happen to be murderers; both are darkly humorous; and if we're being honest about it, both are acquired tastes.

Maybe it felt more like God Bless America than it did Serial Mom, or maybe it felt like both. Either way, Miss Meadows is an enjoyable movie that will most likely appeal to those of you who love the typical fringe, Indie movies, that like to play outside of the box.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. 

Miss Meadows is a prim & proper schoolteacher who arrives in a new town each year, because she's a murderous vigilante who kills creepers, so she can't really afford to stay in place for too long. She also appears to have stepped out of a wormhole from Pleasantville, because she's pretty much the modern-day incarnation of Doris Day... or maybe she's more like Mary Poppins. Nanny McPhee?

A SCHIZOID JUNE CLEAVER?

After killing a potential rapist who tries to force her into his car at gunpoint, Miss Meadows spends her days teaching her grade-school class about life, proper grammar, and how to be an uptight prude. They love her though, so maybe being an uptight prude is not such a bad thing after all.

"BOYS ARE BAD, AND YOU SHOULD KILL THEM ALL."

Things get complicated for Miss Meadows when she meets the local Sheriff and falls in love with him, because he's not too keen on murderers, and since she's leaving dead bodies all over town, he's probably not going to be too happy when he finds out that his lady love is behind them all. How can he really be mad at her though when she's ridding the world of animal abusers and pedophile Priests?

"THE KILLER WROTE 'MIZZ MEADOWS WUZ HERE!' AT THE SCENE, BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?"

Is any rapist, pedophile, or murderer safe from Miss Meadows wrath? Will her boyfriend lock her up once he figures out she's a cold-blooded killer? Will the word toodle-oo forever be etched into our minds after watching this `effing movie?  Far be it from us to spoil anything for you here, but suffice it to say that everything pretty much plays out like you'd expect it to.

THAT'S RIGHT... MISS MEADOWS KILLS THIS SWEET LITTLE GIRL FOR BEING SASSY!

Miss Meadows is an odd duck, and we're talking about both the character and the movie. On one hand, this movie is a disturbing character study about a traumatized woman who is driven to kill by her personal Demons; on the other, it's about an odd woman who dresses like Doris Day, wears taps on her shoes (which yes, she does use to dance down the street), says "Toodle-oo!" every two damn minutes, and misunderstands everything that everyone says in a sickeningly cutesy way. One of those sounds like a pretty good movie, the other, not so much.

DID WE MENTION THAT MISS MEADOWS IS ALSO A WITCH? *SHE'S NOT.

It's nice to see Katie Holmes in a lead role again, and especially one so unconventional as Miss Meadows. She does a great job going between saccharine sweet and uncomfortably creepy in this one, and we believed that her character was truly both. She was genuine. James Badge Dale -who is one of our faves ever since Rubicon and The Pacific- is solid here too, and the chemistry between the two worked well.

"YOU THINK I'M WEIRD? HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR HAIR LATELY?"

Really, it's the wacky & odd bits that kept us from not fully loving this one. They really should have either gone full "John Waters" with the movie (and let it revel in its weirdness), or they should have just gone full Thriller with it, focusing on its darker elements. Either way they chose to go, it would have been a stronger movie that felt less confused about what it really wanted to be.

Miss Meadows is just too uneven to be a truly great movie. It's a good one, in a very odd way, but just not a great one. We wouldn't blame you if you hated it. We promise.

THE CLOUDS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS, MISS MEADOWS! STOP!

When Miss Meadows is functioning as a Revenge Thriller, it's really compelling, if not predictable. When you add in the liberal amount of quirk that is present throughout the movie though, it makes the whole thing feel like a tonally confused mess. We liked it (mostly), and it's a decent watch, just know that it's an odd movie that doesn't play it straight at all. If you're cool with that, then have at it. If not, then run.

C

Miss Meadows is available now on VOD, and will be available on DVD on January 27th.

Remember when Katie Holmes was America's Sweetheart? Well, she's more like America's Soccer Mom, these days, and we're completely fine with that.