The Last Exorcism Part II (2013)

Having been fans of The Last Exorcism- which apparently wasn't the last exorcism at all- we were expecting its follow up to be at least as solid, and maybe even take the story in a new, fresh direction. After all, they opted to ditch the whole Found Footage thing and go with a straight up movie for the sequel, so maybe a shift in tone might add something to it, you know?

Well...

If we can say anything good about this ill-advised sequel, is that it's a well made, pretty film. It established a nice, dread-filled atmosphere in which its narrative had room to grow, and it's effective enough to have pulled us in and make us want to see where it went... and then of course, nothing of note ever really happened.

It all starts off on a rather promising note: After the closing events of the first film, Nell Sweetzer is found cowering on the kitchen counter of some local couple whose house she broke into, thus scaring the crap out of them. She's scared and looking rather demonic, and the tone for the film is set just about perfectly.

This is why I never go into the kitchen at night. Ever.

She's taken to a local hospital, examined and bathed, where she has some sort of crazy flashback and starts throwing up gang signs. After they decide that Nell isn't insane (?!?), she's relegated to life in a halfway house for wayward girls, which is populated only by attractive kids who look as if they've been in a Benetton ad or two.

"West-siiiiddddeeee!"

She gets a job as a maid at a local Hotel, meets a boy, and is even introduced to "music" via one of those fancy music players with them wiry headphones! She also encounters agents of (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam (that pesky Demon) everywhere she goes, who eerily remind her, constantly, how she belongs to him, and that he will have her, and that he's going to touch her at night while she sleeps...

This is actually a tender love/sex scene. Honestly.

After a failed voodoo exorcism -which by the way is really cheesy and lame- the movie culminates in a resolution filled with CGI fire and cheesy grins. Apparently all (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam wanted this whole time was to be able to drive a car and do some arson. And "enter" a young, tender girl. Perv.

Every time I hear the name Abalam, Black Betty starts playing in my head... and won't stop.

Why did the local police make no effort to find her family, or investigate the events that lead to her disheveled, tragic state? Where did her brother go? Why was she not questioned as to the whereabouts of Cotton Marcus and his missing film crew? Is there a reason that (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam, the Demon that haunts Nell, seems to want to bang her more than he does possess her? Seriously, our Demon villain possesses her hand while she sleeps, and proceeds to rub her face like he's failing miserably at finding her fun button... so at worst, (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam is a pedo-creeper who likes to rub girls up while they're asleep. Yeah.

Most of the movie was slow and plodding, relying on old gags and tired plot devices to carry it along. For instance, Nell sees a random visage of her dead Father staring at her from across a busy street, and after a bus passes between them, he's gone gone! Fresh, right? We're also treated to creepy flash imagery which ends in Nell waking up and realizing "it was just a dream..." She even gets phone calls from (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam... after she's unplugged the phone! So much of this movie was way too familiar, and not in a good way.

Cool imagery though.

Music cues and jump scares, that's about as terrifying as things get here. In short, the whole thing is little more than recycled gags.

(Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam is apparently hot for Nell, and we spend the whole movie being reminded of that fact through various means, all of which never really amounts to much. Everyone around her is an agent of evil, urging Nell to give in to (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam's will because "she belongs to him", and it all get very repetitive and tiring.

This movie is sorely missing the character of Cotton Marcus, who really made the first film so palatable. Could they not have had him somehow survive the events of the first movie, and spend the sequel tracking Nell down to either help her or kill her? They could have went that way and made this movie a solid sequel. Too bad they didn't.

I'm guessing that (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam is a horny demon that likes to be inappropriate with young girls.

Aside from its solid technical presentation and Ashley Bell acating her ass off, The Last Exorcism Part II falls flat. The movie relies on tricks and gags that we've seen endless times before, which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if they actually made the movie scary or even added some dramatic tension to the proceedings. Unfortunately, the movie has too many plot holes and there are too many questions that go unanswered for us to not take issue with it. As it stands, what we have here is a slow, plodding, uneventful sequel to a movie that deserved a better follow up than this.

D

Ashley Bell is not to blame for this movie's shortcomings and failings; she's a good little actress and she did what she could here with the limited material she had to work with. She's also cute as a button, so lay off of her!