March 27, 2011

Review: The Resident (2011)

"The main resident here is mediocrity..."
Sub-Genre- Psychological/Thriller
Cast Members of Note- Hillary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Lee Pace and Christopher Lee!

Hillary Swank is a doctor who needs a place to live. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a creepy creep that has an apartment for rent... do you see where this is going? He's lonely, horny and mentally-ill, she's dumb and a bit slutty... Get it yet? Long story short, she moves in, teases the creepy landlord, does it with him (I think), then kicks him to the curb to "work things out" with her ex-boyfriend. It's pretty much a recipe for disaster.

"It's going to be so nice to rape you.. I mean, get to know you."
I'm pretty sure saying "let's be friends" to a mentally unstable psychopath is probably the worst idea ever. Those words can drive decent, kind men into fits of rage, let alone a nut-job who jerks off in walls while watching women eat cereal or brush their hair. And once you do provoke him with such horrible words, and creepy things start happening in your apartment building, why snoop around trying to figure out "what's going on here?" Smile at him until he leaves, then quietly run out of the building and don't come back.

"I rub my jazz on your face while you sleep... LOL!"
Of course there would be no movie if our heroine acted rational, so of course she stays and continues to piss him off. Libidos flare, tensions flare, Christopher Lee's arthritis flares... and we're left wondering if Hillary Swank can escape the evil clutches of Rape-O, the landlord. This is Hollywood though, so you kind of have to know how it's going to end.

Badly. It's all going to end badly.
This movie is like Fatal Attraction with pinches of Pacific Heights and Hider in the House thrown in for good measure. Really, the strongest thing going for the movie are Hillary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan; both are great actors and hold it down in this one, despite the fairly generic storyline. It's always nice to see Christopher Lee in action too, bless his aging little heart!

If you like to watch the occasional by-the-numbers thriller, and don't really care if a movie feels rehashed and familiar, then you should dig this one. It's safe, harmless, and entertaining enough. You'll want to like it more than you'll end up liking it, but you just have to take it at face value and not pick at it too much if you want to enjoy it at all.

His passion knows no limits.
The last 15 minutes of this movie took away the feel of most of what came before it, as if the filmmakers felt they had to "Horror it up" a bit to finish strong. Not horrible, but it felt a little bit out of place.

"The Eye of Sauron is ever watchful..."
Why in the world did she not call the Cops once she realizes she's been drugged and that her landlord is creeping around in her walls? I mean, she installs some expensive cameras in her apartment because she's suspicious, but alerting the Police or doing a background check on the guy or the building isn't a viable option? Weak sauce.

Nothing creepy about that.
We get some fun needle violence and some messy nail gun violence, but it's nothing too crazy.

Hillary Swank has no problem either getting naked or bathing on film. Also, it appears as if she likes to lotion her body up all seductive-like on film too. Fine with us.

I'm sorry but no one takes a bath like this. Sit up already.
Never move into any building if it means that Christopher Lee is going to be your neighbor. Also, there are always rats in the walls.

For a Direct-to-DVD thriller, this is a pretty decent movie. A solid cast helps of course, but beyond that, the movie gives us a straight forward story and manages to keep things interesting throughout, and builds the tension fairly effectively. You could do worse than adding this one to your Netflix queue. Then again, you could certainly do better, too.


Hillary Swank... sometimes I think she's really hot, sometimes not so much. It confuses me. Still, I think she's a "Do Want." Maybe.


  1. I don't know man this was a do not want for me...wouldn't have gotten through it if I wasn't also surfing internet.

  2. omg very good review, you had me loling.

  3. hey, a bit slow on reviews latley.
    just want to show my support, keep it up. thanks

  4. I get that Mob. Maybe I caught it at the right time, because I mostly liked it.

    And LOL'ing is what were all about! Well, that and horror lol.

    Yeah, we have a backlog that we need to finish and get up. Thanks for the support. I'd like to get back on a daily pace here...