January 6, 2011

Review: Hatchet 2 (2011)

"A new Marybeth, gallons of blood, and Papa Shango... Hatchet 2 has it all!"

Cast Members of Note- Danielle Harris, Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, and a bunch of other people that do not have notable names. I'm just sayin'.

Hatchet II picks up right where Hatchet left off, with Marybeth fighting off and escaping the evil clutches of Victor Crowley, only to somehow transform herself into Danielle Harris! Why she didn't use that level of wizardry against Crowley to begin with, We will never know. She could have totally transformed him into Scout Taylor Compton or something, and called it a day, because what's Scout Taylor Compton going to do? Not kill you, that's what.

Keep scrubbing, you're still very dirty!
So Danielle Harris makes it out of the swamp and back to Papa Shango's voodoo academy, where she convinces him to take her back into the swamp so that she can fight Victor Crowley, even though that's what the fuck she just got done doing... she's obviously real mad at him for killing her family. In another plot misstep, I don't know why Papa Shango didn't just use his voodoo dust to turn Victor Crowley into one of his Zombies. It worked for so many years in the ring, and it could have saved so many lives in Hatchet 2.

"I will make you one of my zombieeeeessss!"
And so another group of mostly unlikable characters heads into Huckleberry Swamp for no good reason other than to build up Victor Crowley's mongoloid body count. Will Danielle Harris have her revenge? Will Victor Crowley kill every last one of the intruding interlopers? Will I have a damned song about chicken and biscuits stuck in my head, long after this movie is over and forgotten? Far be it from me to spoil any movie for anyone, but suffice it to say yes, almost, and God Dammit!!!!

"Chicken and the fucking biscuits!"
We went into this one having seen the first Hatchet long ago... and not remembering it so much. Many Horror fans lauded it as being one of the best Slashers of all time, where as we found it to be fun, but mostly average despite the copious amounts of blood it offered us. Same with Hatchet II; a fun ride, but they're not reinventing the wheel here. If you've seen Hatchet, then you know exactly what to expect here.

It is always nice though to see one of the genres biggest Scream Queens doing her thing, and Danielle Harris does it well in Hatchet 2. She stepped in to the role of Marybeth and did a pretty good job of it, though it felt a bit odd at first seeing her taking over the role. Tony Todd and Kane Hodder are always fun too. Adam Green is a great little filmmaker, and I say that based on his work on Frozen alone. He knows how to tell a good, suspenseful story, and isn't afraid to step a rung or two down to make an overtly bloody Slasher homage picture too. You gotta love a guy like that.

Tony Todd is so smooth.
What was with the creepy stuff on that camcorder at the beginning? Did I miss something involving a pedophile in the first movie? That was even too creepy for me. I paraphrase:
"Show me your tits!"
"I'm 14, Mister. Leave me alone!"

"WTF, dude?"
It's sad that Tamara Feldman couldn't return as Marybeth for this sequel due to what looks to be some pretty bad personal issues. Hopefully she can come back to the genre and leave her issues behind her, whatever they may be. We missed you on this one, Tamara.

Danielle Harris filled in nicely though.
As with the first one, this movie is all about the kill scenes and the gallons of blood that they summon forth. Inventive and messy, this movie is definitely one for those of us who love a high body count.

"Rocky Road? Heh heh!"
We do get a little boobage, Danielle Harris taking a hot shower, and a hatchet/vagina kill scene. Nothing crazy, but it was fun.

Swamp tittahs.
"Biscuits, and chicken and gravy and the biscuits... " I lol'd

Adam Green's best movie is still Frozen. Also, Danielle Harris is the Michael Caine of Horror flicks; she's in everything!

Bloody good fun.
I imagine than anyone who liked the first one will like this followup as well, although Hatchet 2 isn't as good as its predecessor. Bloody and full of gore, it serves its purpose as eye candy for gore hounds, but really doesn't do much else. It really felt like Adam Green either got rushed into doing this one or did it because he felt he owed his fans, because it just wasn't up to par with the first movie. Still, it's a fun and bloody ride that most Slasher fans should get a kick out of.



The lovely ladies of Hatchet 2.

1 comment :

  1. Good review! Like you, I wasn't blow away by either Hatchet, or its sequel... but damn, Danielle is impossible not to love, and made it all worthwhile.