May 17, 2009

Quick Review: No Through Road (2009)
"The serenity of another quiet evening is shattered for an amateur photographer when a desperate woman takes refuge in his humble suburban home. Reluctantly, he is pulled into a cat and mouse game with her pursuers. Only dawn will reveal the blood-soaked fallout of being alone in the middle of suburbia."

What a moronic movie. A geek comes home from work one night to find a skanky junkie chick hiding in his closet. Call the Cops, right? Nope. Let her stay for a while because she needs to hide, although she won't tell you why. When a group of rapey looking guys show up and demand the geek hand over the girl, still don't call the Cops... call an ex-Cop friend of your Dad's to come help instead, pussy.

  • Makes perfect sense for the ex-Cop to play football with the rapists. Perfect sense, I say. 
  •  When a guy caves the ex-Cop's head in, still don't call the real Cops. Nice job getting your family friend killed, nitwit. 
  • Let's booby-trap the house, not call the Cops
  • Also, sit with your back to the bay window. 
  • Wait... blaring Heavy Metal and one shining a bright light will scare them off! 
  • By the time the rapey guys caught the main character, I was rooting for them to torture his poorly-written ass. Whatever this movie was aiming for, it failed.

How this movie won any sort of Indie Awards, I'll never know. Waste your time on this maddening mess of a movie if you like, but really, life is way too short to endure crap like this. Unless you like pain. Then, endure this movie.

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