January 18, 2011

Attention sheeple: a new image from Breaking Dawn has just hit the internets!

Here's a newsflash for those of you out there who have your bar for quality control set low enough to be Twilight fans: This picture makes no sense, because he's dead, which means there's no beating heart pumping blood throughout his body, which means no blood flow to his glittering penis, which means he can't get an erection, make love, and most assuredly can not get someone pregnant. If you don't buy into all of this crazy science business, by all means bury your heads back in the fucking sand, and continue to take it in the ass from this terrible series (and I mean both in the literary and cinematic formats.) Oh and don't forget to set your dvr's for The Bachelor, as that represents true love fairly well too. Carry on.

6 comments :

  1. Thanks. Just wanted to let you know that no, my lunch did not taste as good coming up as it did going down.

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  2. I think the picture is pretty hot.

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  3. By the same logic vampires should not move. That is selective suspension of disbelief. And did you just say glittering penis? I mean, the image is horror enough even without vampires!

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  4. I feel bad that you lost your lunch, Purgatpri, and yet somehow satisfied.

    Hot picture? I can buy that.

    And Siderite, you have a point, but unless Edward's sperm is also supernaturally animated, I don't buy it!

    Also, glittering penis. LOL

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  5. This used to be a cool horror movie review site. Now it's just an asshole with a voice who seems pissed off at the world for some reason.

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  6. An asshole with a voice... indeed. Can't deny that.

    Pissed off at the world because of a Twilight rant... not so much.

    Most of our harsher rants have a certain amount of tongue in cheek involved. We try to restrict the venom for the most part, but sometimes we just cant.

    Over, and over, and over again, Hollywood just keeps dropping the bar on big pictures like these while so many little guys out there don't get a fraction of the attention or love that their films deserve...

    So yeah, once in a while we take the piss, and might go overboard in a sense while doing so, but it needs to be done.

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