For the first time this season, we actually loved an episode of True Blood...

Let's be honest here, this season of True Blood was a mostly unsatisfying jumble of too many plot lines and lack of focus. It seems as if our favorite vampire show tends to focus on everything but vampires a lot of the time, which is fine, but some of the sub plots this season ended up being lackluster. and distracting. Here's what was awesome: Alcide is pretty awesome. He was pretty much the best male character on the show this season, and we hope he focuses prominently next season. Jessica turned into little red riding whore and finally got naked! Sure she's eternally 16, undead, and an eternally virginal virgin, but our love knows no taboo! Her story with Jason was pretty interesting, if predictable. Pam stayed awesome by pointing out just how stupid Sookie's name really is. "I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina, and her unbelievably stupid name!" Still not as good as her "Are you fucking retarded?" line from a few ep's ago, but it was classic. We love us some Pam. Shivakamini Somakandarkram is the hotness. If you haven't seen The League on FX, this makes no sense to you. Also, you're missing a really funny show. Bill was much better this year playing King as opposed to his usual whiny, mopey-wuss routine that sees him running around saying "Sookah!" all the time. It looks as though Eric and Bill will be going outlaw together. Also, Eric is a cool as ever. "What a bitch." We LOL'd. Tara had better be dead, or else. Her character was annoying and mostly useless, so please let this be the end for her. PLEASE! (Tara is not in this picture, w just liked this one and wanted to use it, and it's related to Tara anyhow.) What in the hell is Rene' doing back in Bon Temps? Sounds like trouble to us, Chere. And in quite possibly the best True Blood moment ever, Bob from The Unit showed up!!!! We love us some Cool Breeze. Fired up. 27. Here we go. Here's what sucked: Sookie is still a raging whore. Don't mistake us, we love whores, but the show tries to play her indecisive sluttiness off as being somehow romantic, and sweet. Sam, Bill, Eric... Alcide is next, and then we're sure a chick or maybe a male demon or something will come after him. She's like a meat locker. Her character was better this year than it has for the past few seasons, but in all reality, she exists only to whine at and fuck things up for everyone with her poor decision making ability. We love-hate her. The whole Marnie/witchcraft plot line left us cold. It had promise, but really didn't go anywhere very exciting. Maybe that's because hearing someone say "Blessed be" just makes us cringe. The fact that they tainted Lafayette's awesomeness by making him a cheesy medium didn't help either. Most of the "possession" aspects of the coven story was corny and lead to a ton of laughable visuals and overacting. We were expecting more evil and creepy, and what we got instead was basically a bunch of fly by night Wiccans not having a clue what was going on. Tommy's dying sucked. Sure, he was a bit of a tool, but we grew to like him, and he made Sam's storyline fairly interesting. Plus we love pit bulls, and now we won't ever get to see him shift into one again... *pouty face* Fairies. After the first episode which was pretty Fairy-centric, They just kinda disappeared. I know they appeared here and there throughout the season, but it felt like they were there for the sake of being there. Underwhelming. Somehow Hoyt went from being one of our faves, to being a whiny, chick-like annoyance. We get that he's in love and just putting up his defenses, but come on. In summary, this season of True Blood did little for us, and we're gad it's over. There's too much going on with too many secondary characters to let the strength of the show shine through... namely the vampire condition and how it affects the people of the "not so tolerant of them folks what is different" south. It's basically all about racism if you think about it, and the vamps are the black folk of Bon Temps -let's say circa the 40's- before civil rights happened and changed the status quo. That's what makes it all so interesting; we identify with the plight of the characters on both sides of the vampire rights war. It just feels to us like the show is more soap opera and is drifting towards the Twilight crowd with its love triangles, forbidden loves, bitter spurned ex-lovers, unrequited love, and gay dudes walking around with their shirts off. Love is grand, but they need to slow it up a bit. It just feels too forced. We'll see what happens next year, I suppose.