May 11, 2010

Review: Tony (2010)

"A bit underwhelming, but creepy none the less..."
Cast Members of Note- Peter Ferdinando, Lorenzo Camporese, Frank Boyce, and Lucy Flack.

Tony is an mousy, socially-awkward, creepy British guy who gets picked on and pushed around an awful lot. He brings it on himself, being a shut-in welfare-leeching loner, who watches old 80's action movies and has no social skills whatsoever, but still you have to feel for the guy. Maybe just a little bit.

He does that for hours sometimes.
Most of his days are filled with watching some Chuck Norris movies, cruising gay bars and killing leather bears, befriending random drug addicts, creeping hookers out, talking to neighborhood boys, getting beat up, chopping meat, leeching off of Government money, drinking plenty of squash (whatever the hell that is), and getting beat up. He was obviously not hugged enough as a child.

So that's really it as far as the story goes. I guess that the audience is supposed to wonder things like will get the job or won't he, did he kill the kid or not, or does he go to leather bear night at the Pink Pucker Hole regularly, or just when he's in the mood, but who really cares.

What is in those bags?
This is a very subtle movie. Raw, unnerving, disturbing and quiet, Tony reminds me an awful lot of the 80's classic Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer... except that Tony was nowhere near as engaging or disturbing, though it did give it the old college try. The movie meanders along, showing us things that happen, but it never quite ties together in a cohesive plot. As a glimpse into the life of a killer, it's aces. As a story about a killer, what he goes through, and he or the story reaching some sort of pinnacle or resolution, it's a bust.

"He said bust, mate!"
The ending fell a bit flat and left me fairly unsatisfied. It made sense, and I get why it ended like it did, but I guess I kept waiting for some kind of big payoff, and I never got one. Then again, the whole movie didn't have much of a plot to begin with.

High fashion.
Am I crazy, or did this movie have a mildly homophobic streak running through it? More than once Tony trolled the neighborhood Gay Nightclubs, brought a guy home, and ended up doing him in as if to say "they had it coming to them. " It's probably just that the character himself has some unresolved Homosexuality issues, but it just felt harsh to me.

And for the record, the Devil is a top. Always. Never forget that.

Told ya so.
There isn't much, but what we do get is stark and morbidly creepy. The disposing of the bodies is especially realistic, and made me swear off of chopped meat for a while.

Other than a shirtless leather bear in bed, and a scantily-clad hooker, we get none of the naked goods.

It's always the quiet ones. Also, don't pick on the quiet ones.

Watch out, gay dude, it's a trap!
I guess I was expecting more from this one, and it's probably my own fault that I didn't love Tony like I thought I would. It was good, it hit the right chords as far as being creepy and disturbing, but it felt so understated to me that it lost a lot of the impact that I believe it could have had. I'd say this one is a missed step or two from being a modern day classic. For shame. Still, it's absolutely worth a look, so do yourself a favor and check it out on DVD.


Do random television checks actually happen in England? Do they actually give out citations to appear in court if you don't have a license for your telly? I don't believe it...


  1. To fill the fact void..............

    Squash is a fruit based drink that's is sold in concentrate and diluted with water.Also known as cordial,not sure of the US version.
    And yes they do take people to court and fine them for non-payment of TV licenses(although British TV isn't worth paying for!)

    Love the site and reviews

  2. Yeah Zocial, I goggled the whole license thing and it makes sense. I didn't realize the BBC was basically public funded.

    I'd pay for a license if it meant begin able to see Jonathan Ross and Skins all the time. :)

    Yes, I just said that. lol

  3. A bit judgemental to say that the homophobia in the movie is the downright horrendous.

    Also, since i frequently read your reviews and mostly love them, i have gathered this much that you have some very narrow expectations from a horror flick....naked chicks...gore...blood baths...the conventional works.

    I'm yet to check it out but the trailer of this movie gave a successful impression of creepiness, which in my mind, is the true mark of a good horror movie.

  4. If you haven't checked it out yet, how can you comment at all on the elements of the film, such as the homophobia, which was pretty blatant?

    If you regularly read our reviews, unpopular, then you should know our expectations reach far beyond nudity or gore... those two are the more fun topics to discuss, which is why we do it so much, but really script, mood, atmosphere, pacing... those are the things that really matter to us. Let the Right One In was one of our absolute favorites, and Trick r' Treat is perfect... neither of those films have much nudity or gore.

    T&A has it's place in horror. Gore more than has it's place in horror. In the end though, neither of those elements are enough to carry a movie, and in some cases, they can hinder them.

    Tony was creepy, and it is definitely one of the main elements that make a good horror movie, but it wasn't as good as it could have been.