"Who doesn't love a good story about a Nazi necromancer and a herd of zombie horses?"
Cast Members of Note- Dominic Purcell, Henry Cavill, Michael Fassbender, and Emma Booth.
*Directed by Joel Schumacher.
During
WWII, a
German family living in
America is bribed by the
Third Reich to let a
Nazi scholar come and live with them on their quaint little
Town Creek farm. It turns out that the scholar is in search of a rune stone that is buried on their property, and wants to use it to turn himself into a
Super Nazi bad-ass. Subsequently, the family is trapped on their farm (which is frozen in time) and put through hell for the next several decades.
|
"Ich liebe untoten Pferde!" |
Fast forward about 70 years, and we meet
Evan; an
EMT with a heart of gold (?), who lives near
Town Creek. He's been a mess ever since his brother
Victor disappeared while they were camping together 2 years earlier... my question is, how do you stay lost in the woods for 2 years? That shit is beyond me, but when
Victor suddenly shows up in the middle of the night looking like
Dan Haggerty on crack, the two of them head back to
Town Creek to get revenge on "
Those Kraut Bastards" who have been keeping him a prisoner all along.
|
For the love of God I hope he's planning to shoot Channing Tatum. |
The problem is, "
Those Kraut Bastards" have a
Super Nazi bad-ass Necromancer with a thirst for warm blood locked in their cellar, and when he gets out, they're all pretty much destined to die painfully. Can the brothers defeat the evil
Nazi Sorcerer? Will
Zombie Horses nip a guy in the shoulder and pull him through a window? Do the words "bone armor" make anyone else laugh as much as they do me? Maybe, yes, and they just have to.
|
Bone armor... lol. |
I am absolutely astounded at how good this movie was. First and foremost, I loved the premise; the
Nazi's sent "Scholars" to
America to find ancient rune stones, hoping to harness their
Occult powers to win
WWII, and thus rule the world. If that isn't creepy, I don't know what is, especially since the
Nazi's actually were into the
Occult.
The
Occult aspect of this movie is its strong point. Magic rune stones, reanimated dead people (and animals), blood rituals, wards painted on the house to keep the evil at bay, people frozen in time, the
Lovecraftian "third eye," and those creepy
Necromantic spells that the
Nazi whispers... It was just all really, really cool.
I actually felt tense during much of this film, and especially once the
Super Nazi shows up and starts kicking all sorts of ass. The guy can reanimate anything dead to do his bidding, which makes things all the more interesting.
Zombie Horses, y'all. Yep. Bad ass.
It's nice to see
Joel Schumacher making a strong return to the
Horror genre; after all he is the guy that gave us
The Lost Boys and
Flatliners. And two horrible
Batman sequels... anyway, welcome back,
Joel.
*Addendum- This movie features a
pre-Superman Henry Cavill and
pre-Magneto Michael Fassbender, which is kinda cool.
|
Yeah, this actually happened. |
Zombie Horses. Not only are they huge, mean, and very creepy to look at, but they are near impossible to kill. If they don't die after 10 shotgun blasts, I'd quit shooting and run. Or, I'd turn the gun on myself.
|
Zombified and under the control of an evil Nazi Necromancer, Butternut tried to rape everyone in the cabin, earning him a hide full of buckshot and a heart full of shame. |
After a few title changes and basically no promotion whatsoever,
Lionsgate dumped this movie into a handful of
Dollar Theaters and then banished it to
Straight-to-DVD hell. Why? Did anyone see
The Stepfather,
Whiteout, or
Sorority Row? They all got
Theatrical Runs, decent promotion, and they all sucked. Badly.
Blood Creek is a great little movie, and I refuse to believe it couldn't have made enough $ at the
B.O. to justify even a
Limited Release... and no,
Dollar Theaters do not count. I just don't get it.
|
Then again, it's not like this movie is Superman or something... |
This one is a
Gorefest; blood-drinking, bloodletting, torture, bone-knives through chins, all sorts of shotgun violence,
Zombie Horse violence overkill, dog stabbings, zombie violence... there's all sorts of messy goodness to be found here.
|
Ouchie. |
No.
|
Was it rape? |
"That's mine" or "No. You're going to feed me."
Zombie Horses are really hard to kill. Also,
Evil Nazi's never die, which means that
Hitler is probably a zombie somewhere in
Guam or something. Great.
|
Fassbender. |
This movie was as enjoyable as any I've seen lately, and the best
Horror flick of the year so far. Creepy, tense, interesting and bloody as all get out,
Blood Creek is far better than its treatment by
Lionsgate would have you believe. If you love
Nazi's, zombies, or just have a love for the
Dark Arts of Necromancy, then you'll love this movie. You definitely need to rent this one, if not buy it, as soon as you get the chance.
A
Blood Creek is available now on
DVD and
VOD.
Emma Booth is in this. *Apologies to
Emma Booth for our originally mistaking her for
Winter Ave Zoli. Hey, they do look kinda similar...