June 29, 2010

Review: The Wolfman (2010)

There's not much to say about this one, other than... It's The Wolfman.

I was never personally a huge fan of the original Wolfman story, as it always seemed a little tame and stale to me, and even a bit lame. I know tons of Classic Movie Monster lovers would flay me at hearing that, but it's just not my taste is all. You can keep The Mummy and Frankenstein too. Just sayin'.

The new 2010 version of The Wolfman, despite my personal predilections, is a stunning film to look at and a fun one to watch. The sets, locations, scenery, costumes, and even the dreaded CGI is all spot on.

It's well written, and directed more than competently too, which just makes it all the more technically and creatively sound.

This is why I avoid crypts.
Surprisingly, there was a good amount of action throughout, from chases and multiple fight scenes, to a dream sequence that was pretty damned amazing. It's a bloody flick too, which surprised me for a bigger-budget Hollywood project. Claws tear, entrails drop, and blood flows in copious amounts, which is always a good thing. I'm guessing the Unrated DVD version is going to be bloodier than the Theatrical (I know, I'm Captain Obvious), so be sure to grab that one if you love the gore.

Calista Flockhart's Cameo.
The best part of the whole thing for me were the great performances, most notably from Sir Anthony Hopkins. The guy is just always stellar, and here, he's all kinds of intense and awesome. It's worth seeing the movie just to watch him emote and act creepy. Add to that the always great Hugo Weaving, the vastly underused Benicio DelToro, and the way hot Emily Blunt (who can act her ass off too), and we have an absolutely solid cast knocking it out of the park... but in the end, it's still just The Wolfman. Meh.

Oh shit, it's agent Smith!
The OG.
It drags a bit in the start (though I like the quiet character stuff), and there's really only so much you can do with this story, but it's a fun watch, filled with blood and action. You probably already know if you'd like this one or not, and you're probably right.


 In parting, here's some Emily Blunt for you to enjoy. You can never have too much Emily Blunt.

June 22, 2010

Review: The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (2010)

"Iceland makes what I believe is their first Horror flick... and they obviously came to represent"


Cast Members of Note- Pihla Viitala, Terrence Anderson, Miranda Hennessy, and Leatherface himself, Gunnar Hansen.

Leatherface is now a retired movie maniac, and spends his golden years captaining a boat that offers whale-watching tours in Iceland. These days, he's all silver haired and wise looking, and it seems as if he's left his murderous past behind. Good for him!

With Leatherface's boat full of tourists from a bunch of different nations, they set out on an idyllic trip to find some of natures most majestic mammals, and watch them. Instead they find a crazy, inbred Icelandic family (led by a guy that looks suspiciously like Crab Boat Captain Phil Harris) that hates both Greenpeace and whales, and really seems to enjoy killing tree-hugging hippies/tourists as well. Especially the tree-hugging American hippie/tourists.

Phil Harris?
I won't spoil what happens next here, mainly because it's a slasher flick and there isn't much to spoil, but suffice it to say that once it hits the fan, shit gets seriously frigging crazy aboard the death boat. Iceland could be re-named "Bloodland" and it would somehow be fitting after this movie.

Had this been an American Horror film, I think my overall verdict would be something along the lines of "meh." It's fairly simple, a bit slow to start, and really brings nothing new to the genre table... but... for a country that has produced less than 100 films in their entire history as a nation, Iceland has managed to come up with a pretty good little Horror flick here.

It's a bit choppy and awkward throughout, and most of the plot elements and characters were borrowed from other genre movies (TCM, Wrong Turn, etc...), but it was bloody enough and fun enough to make us happy in the end. There's even a part that made me laugh pretty hard; be on the lookout for the "I'll be right back, don't you move!" scene involving the rapist deckhand... Oh no he didn't! Oh yes he did, and I LOL'd. Hard.

It's also of note to mention that Horror Legend Gunnar Hansen (TCM's original Leatherface), makes an appearance in this movie as the Tour Boat Captain. I never realized he was from Iceland (because who the hell ever is, you know?) and it was a neat little surprise to see him show up in this one.

... and random lesbian snogging is always a bonus, no?
One of the film's killers reminded me a lot of the late, great Captain Phil Harris from the Discovery Channel show, The Deadliest Catch. A great show and a great guy, this movie just made me think about him and his recent death, and it bummed me out a little.

R.I.P. Captain Phil. Thanks for being awesome.
I just knew there couldn't be a horror flick with a gay, black hero that didn't involve some sort of racist B.S. going on... even in Iceland The Man is always there to keep a brotha down! All I'm sayin' is if I ever go on a creepy boat trip through the waters of Iceland, I'm bringing a gay black dude with me... because he took care of business!

"Sorry baby, you ain't my type."
The gore factor in this movie is pretty high, as we get all sorts of nastiness including, but not limited to; vomit, eye violence, throat slashing, impalement, axe violence, exploding heads, blood body paint, people burning alive, rape, and yes, we do get some pretty awesome harpoon violence! *The kind you mount on a boat, not carry.

Oh yeah, that's the good stuff.
There's a fair amount of nudity and some sexual situations in this movie, but almost all of it involves near-rape. Once scene at the beginning was nice, but the rest was just downright creepy. Nothing fun to see here, folks.

She's naked, but there's nothing hot about it.
People in Iceland hate whales. They seem to hate American Hippies too. Also, never fuck with the quiet Asian chick, or she will teach you a harsh lesson.

Looks like a fun vacation...
For many of you, this will be your average run of the mill slasher, albeit set in an interesting locale. For the rest of you, this will be a bloody, disturbing, fun, hell of an effort by a country that basically has no history when it comes to making Horror flicks. The beginning lagged a bit, but once the "massacre" begins, it was a fun ride that didn't make a ton of sense, but delivered the goods. Not bad, Iceland. Not bad at all.


The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.


We cant pronounce your name, Pihla Viitala, but that doesn't mean we don't love you.

June 20, 2010

Maybe the best movie title ever...

Sure, it may be crude, but how can you not love the title (and premise) of this movie? Take a second, and say it out loud: Big Tits Zombie. Now let it settle for a moment, and then say it again. See what I mean? I'm thinking Tokyo Gore Police meets Zombie Strippers here, and I am intrigued. When we get a copy of the DVD, we will be happy campers.

June 14, 2010

True Blood: Season, Ep 1

After watching the first episode of the new season of TB, I can honestly say that I liked it better than most of Season 2 as a whole. The Good- -Eric is still a bad ass. -Bill is a bad ass rather than whiny in this episode. -Lafayette is back to his bad ass self -Jessica and Sophie Ann are both super hot. Sookie too, to a lesser degree. -Pam is finally emerging from Eric's shadow and showing some personality. -The wolves. Awesome.
Real wolves. You hear that, Twilight? REAL WOLVES.
The Bad- -Sookie is slightly less annoying than she was before, but she's still annoying. -Tara being all angry and inconsolable... again. Please take her character in a different direction, it's getting old. And let her date someone with a better name than Eggs this time. Please. -Stop teasing us with hot near-lesbian coed action, and deliver.
I would let her bite me and become her human man-bitch for eternity.
The WTF?!?- Ok Sam, what was with that erotic gay dream? For a moment there, I thought you were going to shape shift into Bill's butt plug. It came that close.
Our hopes, questions, and demands- - Please let the magister stick around this season. Zeljko Ivanek is a great actor.
Awesome lines- "And playin' with your own titties in a car full of dudes aint?" "Bitch, you and me bridge.. that aint never gonna motherfuckin' happen." "I should warn you, I've fed." Overall, episode 1 rocked. This season is going to be great.
It's not what it looks like. I think.

June 11, 2010

True Blood returns this Sunday... don't forget!

True Blood, the other vampire phenomenon that has captured hearts and minds everywhere (the one that doesn't involve wispy, mopey tweens and glitter), returns to kick off its 3rd season this Sunday on HBO. We here at THC (especially Erin) can't wait to get another Sookie fix, and hopefully a naked one. We also desperately need some answers to a few questions...
Where is Bill?
Will Sookie whore it up with Bill, Eric and a werewolf?
Will Jessica find a way to break her everlasting-hymen?
Will they finally kiss?
Will Sophie-Ann show her lesbian side this season?
Will Eric get some of that Stackhouse booty? Will he let his hair grow back?
Will Lafayette finally be back to his old sassy self?
Will they finally kiss?
We have no idea what's going to happen, but I do know that we can't wait to find out.
Sunday. 9 P.M. Be there.