Solo Review: Frontiere(s) (2008)

Basically, Frontiere(s) is a fun little vacation movie in which some French thugs, fresh off of a robbery, flee a riotous Paris in hopes of a nice countryside getaway. Luckily for them, they happen upon a quaint little inn run by a 90-year-old Neo-Nazi and his inbred whack-job family. Soon, the Aryan Adam and Eve (or more appropriately, Heinrich und Gerta) story kicks in, and poor Yasmine is chosen to be the new baby factory for the family (since the old one turns out nothing but inferior mongoloids.) Aryans can be so picky!

"You vill make baby, yes?"

After a quick haircut, and a nice supper with the Von Geisler clan, Yasmine flips out and people start dying. All of it could have been avoided of course, if she would have just come to terms with letting her hoo-ha be used for birthing a New World Order of cannibal fascists, but nooooo... she has to have things her way. Sigh.

They obviously care about her.

I won't ruin the ending for you here, but suffice it to say that the Germans don't like the French so much. Also, French chicks know how to use table saws pretty well.

The saw is family.

Clocking in at nearly 2 hours, Frontiere(s) is one hell of a crazy ride. It's more disturbing and unsettling than it is overtly violent or bloody, but all of those elements are present and used to great effect. It's NC-17 rating prevented it from having a U.S. Theatrical run alongside the other 8 Films to Die For last year, and it instead saw a quick DVD release after only a weekend-long release in a handful of Theaters. A movie like this is just too rough for the American public, I suppose.

Oddly enough, the more Foreign Horror I watch (of late it's mainly been French Horror), the more I realize that they are more fucked up over there than we ever could be here in the U.S. Frontiere(s) borrows heavily (or gives nods to, depending on how you see things) from other Horror movies such as TCM, any number of the hillbilly horror flicks, Haute Tension... but pulls it off nicely and doesn't insult its audience in the process.

Fun, mean, tense, bloody, creepy, disturbing... this is one entertaining flick.

You'll never really be clean again, will you?

This movie has another dumb female lead; when your boyfriend tells you to run, honey, don't argue. Also, always grab the gun. Just take some sort of initiative!

"Maybe if I just wait here for a while..."

I never thought that an old Kraut whistling a popular song could be so creepy.

"Edelweiss, Edelweiss..."

I will admit that with all the hype going into this one, I expected there to be way more bloodletting. Unless you're looking for Men Behind the Sun or Guinea Pig amounts of gore though, this one has more than enough to satisfy you. Most of the nastiness picks up more towards the end, and I for one squealed with glee once it began.

Holy fucking table-saw!

Not much to be had along those lines here, although the German broads are slutty, and they literally have sex with the first guys that walk through the door in one scene. Also, Karina Testa has been nude before, but not in this one.

Nope, no lesbian canoodling to see here.

Nazi's may have been horrible, misguided human beings, but they sure know how to get the job done. Also, never eat the fried pork.

So, did you have fun at Homecoming, liebchen?

It didn't quite move me as much as did other recent French Horror flicks (such as Them or Inside), but Frontiere(s) was nearly as effective in it's own way. It's a must own for some, a rent for most, but it's absolutely worth seeing either way.

A-

Frontiere(s) is available now on DVD and VOD.

 

Karina Testa looks good when she's not all covered in blood, and so do her friends.