July 26, 2008

#11- Beyond the Darkness (Buio Omega) (1979)

Beyond the Darkness (Buio Omega/Blue Holocaust) 
Sub-Genre- Italian Horror/Shock
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, The Vanilla Gorilla
Cast Members of Note- A bunch of creepy Italians...

What's it about?- Oh look, folks, it's a love story; a boy and a girl, hopelessly and unconvincingly in love, decide to have sex. They need it real bad. She's so horny in fact, that she dies before Frank can hide his sausige in her gazpacho... but that doesn't stop him!

Death is no obstacle for sweaty, nasty love.
He injects her body with his semen (to preserve her, duh), digs her up after she's buried, takes her home, sloooooooowly embalms her, then eats her heart. The he proceeds to kill a bunch of random, slutty girls, and dispose of them in horrible ways.

His nanny (?!?) Iris doesn't like this, because she's a creepy bitch... and she would much rather have him for herself. She loves to breastfeed him and give him the occasional hand-jibber, but he just wont love her the way he loves that damned corpse! Frank finally reaches his breaking point, and karate kicks Iris to the ground and calls her a slut. She tells him he'll be sorry, and turns into a bat and flies off.

I wont spoil the ending here, but what ensues next is a retarded battle royal of bat-shit craziness.

Watch your eyes/crotch/throat/cheek/heart!
The Good- If you love gore, then this one is worth checking out. It's a typical Italian Horror flick; fairly non-nonsensical, slow moving, bizarre, unsettling, and gross. Exploitation-master extraordinaire Joe D'Amato delivers another digusting gem here... And by gem I mean a far less pleasant film than his Ator or 120 Days of Anal ever were. I'm not making that title up either. Seriously, Google it.

Buio Omega is not for the average, weak-stomached horror fan, or anyone who enjoys things that make any sort of sense, but there is some good to be found within. 

The Bad- My fingernails are still crying. Also, another "What the fuck?!?" freeze frame ending? Oh Italy... why you do this to me? 

The Downright Horrendous- Sucking on Iris's tit? Seriously?

"Come, drink the bitter milk of Iris!"
The Gory- This one is PLENTY gory and nasty. A guy embalms his girlfriend in slow, on screen fashion; A fat chick gets an acid bath; the fingernail pulling scene is especially rough to get through; throats are bitten, cheeks are torn, eyeballs are destroyed, a nut-sack is ruined and a human heart is eaten. And the craziest part of the whole affair? Real cadavers were rumored to be used during the filming. Ugh.  

Creepy Fucker.
The Naked- It's European Horror, of course we see some naked people doing sex stuff! A fat chick gets naked, a hot chick gets naked, a corpse is naked throughout, and Iris makes Frank breastfeed from her old-ass tit. Oh yeah, it's sexy time! (or not)

Threesome!
Best Line- "Licky my milky!" (or something to that effect) or "Get out of here, you old slut!" This is wordsmith-level shit here, folks.

What did we learn?- Do not eat spaghetti while watching this movie... or most Italian Horror for that matter.

C A decent enough film, though full of flaws typical of Italian Horror, the gore quotient of Buio Omega should satisfy most ardent Gorehounds. Give it a rent.

70's/80's Italian Horror staple Cinzia Monreale is in this... and she's still hot today!

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