VOD Review: Dark Places (2015)

(aka Found Girl)
Release Date: August 7th.
Country: USA
Rating: R
Written by: Gillian Flynn and Gilles Paquet-Brenner
Directed by: Gilles Paquet-Brenner.
Starring: Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Chloe Grace Moretz, Tye Sheridan, Christina Hendricks, and Corey Stoll.

Aside from the shitty ending, we really liked Gillian Flynn's first book turned movie, Gone Girl. It not only kept us guessing at what the hell was happening, but even after the bold plot twist halfway through, it kept us anxious to see how everything was going to play out. Good stuff. Except the shitty ending.

Dark Places is much the same as Gone Girl, quality-wise. It may not have that David Fincher magic going for it, but it is equally engaging, and it boasts a strong cast playing some really screwed up people in perfect fashion.

Most important of all, its ending was not quite as shitty as Gone Girl's was. 

Warning: There are HUGE ENDING SPOILERS in the Downright Horrendous section below, so skip that section if you want to remain unspoiled. Honestly, if you're going to watch Dark Places, don't spoil it for yourself. You can come back and read our rant afterwards.

To put it simply (because the plot twists and turns more times than we can count), Dark Places is the story of the slaughter of the Day Family; which left a mother and two young daughters dead, another daughter alive to tell the story, and a brother in jail for committing the heinous murders. It's also about Devil Worship, stupid teenagers, crazy bitches, alleged child molestation, lying bitches, shitty parents, and creepy people who like to Cosplay real life murders & murderers. It's also a meditation on how crushing, inescapable debt can ruin the American Dream, and destroy lives. So there's that, too. 

GUNS ARE ALWAYS THE ANSWER.

Libby Day, the daughter who survived the massacre of her family, has grown up to be a horribly damaged human being who trusts no one, and wears an ugly baseball cap everywhere she goes. She's approached by a group of people called The Kill Club, who have a fetish for solving real-life murders, and is offered money to help them prove that her brother is innocent. Broke and desperate for money, she accepts the offer, even though she knows that her bother is as guilty as sin.

SHE MAY HAVE GROWN UP DAMAGED, BUT SHE ALSO GREW UP HOT, SO, FAIR TRADE.

What follows is Libby's search for the truth of what really happened the night of the murders, and her consequent discovery that everyone in her life has been a shady piece of shit from the start. Except for maybe her baby sister. She seemed alright for the most part. Everyone else had issues though.

YES WE WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU AT KNIFE POINT, CHLOE, NO NEED TO BRING SATAN INTO IT

This is going to sound a bit odd, but we thought that Dark Places worked well as an engaging Mystery/Thriller, but it felt a bit over-wrought and forced as a believable narrative. The story is compelling as hell, and its characters equally so, it's just that at times, but the mechanics of everything felt forced and almost dishonest in their attempts to be bold and shocking.

Still, as murder mysteries go, this one was pretty damned solid.

We really liked Dark Places, and it kept us engaged from start to finish. We may have thought the climax to be a bit ridiculous in some ways, and the big emotional resolution didn't really make us very emotional at all (because the characters were all so cold, stupid, or unsympathetic), but the movie did keep us on the edge of our seats and guessing throughout.

Dark Places is not as good of a movie as Gone Girl was, but somehow, we enjoyed it more. The performances were all top-notch in this one, especially those of Charlize Theron and Christina Hendricks, both of whom basically carried the bulk of the movie on their backs. They came off as being both believable and sympathetic, even though their characters were deeply flawed. The supporting cast was every bit as good as well, from Nicholas Hoult to Carey Stoll, and especially Chloe Moretz, who played the disturbed teen and rather well. Even the bit players who only showed up for a scene or two (Drea de Mateo and Andrea Roth) were solid in this one.

DRUGS AND HUGS. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE THEM BOTH?

Maybe it's just us, but Gillian Flynn sure seems a little bit too dependant on "shocking twists" and "OMG!" plot turns to drive her narratives home. She's also pretty heavily dependant on red herrings, and maybe even more so than the twists. In Dark Places, there are murders, alleged instances of child  molestation, Devil Worship & sacrifice, loan sharking, drug dealing, and a few more seedy things that are set in motion, which we won't spoil for you here, all of which serve as red herrings.

To a point, it all feels like forced cleverness.

WHITE TRASH: THE UNBREAKABLE CYCLE.

When we finally find out what happened in the farmhouse that night, we were left feeling a bit mixed about it. Some of it played out well, but the "main" plot twist, which explains the murders in earnest, felt almost silly and forced, like we said above.

Read on at your own spoilery peril...

***HUGE ENDING SPOILERS***

So, the Mother was so debt-ridden, that the idea of hiring a Serial Killer to kill her (so that her kids would get her life insurance money) seemed like a better idea than carrying on, staring over, and being there for her kids? As ridiculous as that idea is to begin with, it honestly never occurred to her that her kids would be traumatized for life by her actions, let alone possibly be murdered at the hands of the same guy? And what was with the skeevy dude who suggested that course of action to her to begin with? An accomplice? What kind of person says "Hey, you could have someone kill you, that would solve your problems?"

On top of all of that crazy shit, you also have another crazed maniac in the house at the same time, killing someone else while the Serial Killer is offing the Mom and other kid? And then the brother is all like "You just strangled my sister to death, but I love you. Go ahead and run, I'll take the rap for everything." WTF?!?

***END OF HUGE ENDING SPOILERS***

Come on!

"DO YOU REMEMBER THE HORSES? LET'S TALK ABOUT HORSES!"

A family is slaughtered in a bloody Mass Murder, and a cow get hacked to death by some angst-ridden, Satanic teens. It's definitely got its bloody moments.

COW KILLER!

There's sex in the movie, but none of it is even close to being explicit.

Boys are stupid when it comes to girls. Also, blitherlingly stupid decisions can really screw your kids up for life, or even get them killed, so maybe think things through extra hard before making them.

SO DARK, SO MOODY.

Dark Places was a really engaging, intense movie, which kept us interested throughout. The ending was a bit "yeah sure, that happened" to us, but the excellent cast, and the parts of the story that worked well enough to redeem the movie's faults for us.

If you enjoyed Gone Girl, you'll most likely enjoy this one as well, albeit in a completely different sort of way. We actually liked it more, in some ways. Either way, it's worthy of the rental $$$.

B+

Dark Places is available now on VOD, and will be in Theaters on August 7th.

Dark Places was surprisingly filled with a bevy of hot & sexy ladies, all of whom you can check out in their sexy glory, in their very own Hottie Post! Check it out HERE.

Horror Hotties: The Ladies of Dark Places (2015)

We never expected Dark Places to gather so many gorgeous women together to tell its story, and even though most of the characters that they play are Whisky Tango psychopaths (to different degrees), they still make us wish we had grown up on a farm.

Charlize Theron, Chloe Moretz, Christina Hendricks, Andrea Roth, Drea de Mateo, and Denise Williamson make for one of the hottest casts that we've scene in a long while. Nice job, ladies.

VOD Review: Extinction (2015)

I hesitate to call Extinction a zombie flick, because it really isn't. A lot of reviewers out there are calling this movie a Zombie Survival movie, but at best, it probably belongs to the Infected sub-genre.

There's just nothing really zombie-like about the creatures in this movie. If anything, they resemble the vampires from 30 Days of Night more than they do any zombie that you'd find in the typical undead offering. 

We're going to go out on a crazy limb here, and just call this one a Post-Apocalyptic movie that involves creatures.

Bold of us, I know.

Nine years after Zombie Apocalypse left most of humanity dead or trying to survive, Jack and his sweet daughter Lu have made themselves a nice life in the snowy town of Harmony; they stay inside, they don't interact with anyone, their food supply could be better... alright, so maybe it's not a nice life, but it's life, and that in and of itself is nice.

"TODAY, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STAY UNDER THE BED. ALRIGHT, HONEY?"

Jack and Lu have a creepy neighbor named Patrick, who we know used to be friends with Jack, but has since been shunned by he and his daughter. Why won't Jack talk to him, or let Lu get to know him? Well that's they mystery, isn't it? At least Patrick has a faithful dog (named Dog) to keep him company in the cold Post-Apocalyptic world.

HE LOOKS HALF A BUBBLE OFF PLUMB IF YOU ASK ME.

It's been a while since either of them has seen the creatures that destroyed their lives (and the world), and so they think them dead and gone, probably because it's so cold and snowy out there, and nothing could survive being exposed in such a climate for too long... but they're wrong! The creatures are back, and despite the bad blood between them, Jack and Patrick have to work together if they have any hope of surviving their return.

Dysfunctional family dynamics & survival ensue.

DON'T... MAKE... A... SOUND.

Extinction is a pretty solid flick that would have benefited from a little less melodrama, and a whole lot more Horror. The creatures in this movie looked amazing, and the fact that they were blind and hunted by sound made the scenes that they were in all the more terrifying, but we just didn't get to see enough of them.

We're big fans of Jeffrey Donovan and Matthew Fox, and over they years they have proven that they can do both drama and action equally well, but too much of the movie was spent with them either avoiding each other, fighting with each other, or just being uncomfortable with each other's presence. Now, all of that had purpose, and it served the story by existing, but it simply went on for far too long. The movie spends too much time on flashbacks, and unraveling a mystery (which was no mystery at all), throughout. We got the gist of the how, why, and what with the lengthy opening sequence, and the plot would have been far better served by focusing less on the backstory, and more on the present day situations of the characters.

SEE, NOW THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF BACKSTORY.

Worse still, Jeffrey Donovan's character seemed to go from HATING Matthew Fox's character from the depths of his soul (he basically stood by and let him nearly get killed), to having him over for a nice, neighborly dinner. Literally. The transition between hatred and acceptance just felt clunky and unnatural, not to mention a bit rushed.

All of that being said, the rest of the movie was pretty solid. The cold, isolated, snowy setting was perfect for a Post-Apocalyptic story of survival, and it made the already intense plot feel even more so. This one was atmospheric as hell. It may have taken a while for it to get going, but once it did, the movie was a pretty creepy, and boasted some great action scenes. Again, the fact that the creatures were blind and could only hunt by sound added a fun dynamic to the proceedings. We also really liked how the creatures evolved over time. That was kind of a fun twist too.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR GOING DOLL SHOPPING IN MONSTER TOWN, USA.

Jeffrey Donovan and Matthew Fox make for a pretty good on-screen duo, and they should probably star in a Buddy Cop movie together, or something. Also, it's pronounced Mah-Shing-Gah, not May-Zing-Er! Dammit!

DON'T SCREAM.

The balance between angsty melodrama and Horror-based action might be a bit off in this one, but Extinction is still an above-average effort that we really enjoyed. A lot, even. The creatures in this one looked so cool that we'd probably even watch it again... although there would be a few parts that we might be tempted to fast forward through.

If you're a fan of Post-Apocalyptic movies that involve a multitude of hungry, savage creatures trying to eat everyone they come across, or if you're a fan of any of the actors involved, then you should definitely give Extinction a rent. It really was a solid effort for the most part.

C+

Extinction is available now on VOD.

The sexy Clara Lago is in this, as is Valeria Vereau (albeit is a much smaller role.)

August's Top Blu-ray Pre-Orders!

There are always plenty of new Movies and TV Shows released on Blu-ray & DVD each week, but even if we wanted to, we couldn't possibly buy them all. There are, however, always a small group of them that make us drool (figuratively) in anticipation, that we feel compelled to own.

So here are the movies seeing release in August that we are dying to get our hands on, and that we feel good about recommending to you. Don't forget to click the pics to pre-order!

This dark, bloody imaginative fairy tale about a camping trip that turns into deadly carnage draws on such influences as Lord of the Rings, Friday the 13th and The Devil's Backbone. The story follows 12-year-old outcast Sam who, along with his troop of cub scouts and their teenage supervisors, camp in woods rumored to house a mysterious and deadly werewolf. Inquisitive Sam, certain the woods are inhibited by something evil, soon stumbles upon a feral young boy and, eventually, his evil psychopathic mentor. But convincing the others of the danger falls on deaf ears, and soon ingenious traps begin to take their violent toll on the group. A wildly entertaining killer in the woods actioner. NOTE: Dutch, French, Flemish languages with English subtitles.

A solid little Belgian Thriller/Exploitation flick, Cub is a Killer Kid movie with bite. We hate... and I mean HATE... that awful cover art, but the movie itself is worth at least a rental for most Horror fans, and a purchase for fans of messed up Euro Horror. *Read our review below to see why.

• Deleted scenes.
• SFX reel.
• Short film (Blu-only)
• Music video (Blu-only)
• Trailers.

Read our review HERE.

There is an old ghost story in the sleepy town of Ravens Fair about Mary Shaw, a ventriloquist who went mad. Accused of the murder of a young boy, she was hunted down by vengeful townspeople who cut out her tongue and killed her. They buried her along with her children, a hand-made collection of vaudeville dolls. Since that time, Ravens Fair has been plagued by death. The ghastly dolls from Mary Shaws collection have gone missing from the grave and reappeared over the decades. In the dead of night-wherever they are glimpsed-families are found gruesomely murdered with their tongues torn out.

Few things are creepier than dolls, and few American Horror movies of the aughts were as genuinely creepy as was Dead Silence. It looks like this is the first time that the movie will be available on Blu-ray in its Unrated form (from what we can gather, anyhow), and with a price tag of around $15, adding this one to the collection is a no-brainer.

James Wan & Leigh Whannell know their Horror.

• Unrated Cut.
• Alternate Opening.
• Alternate Ending.
• Deleted Scenes.
• The Making of Dead Silence.
• Mary Shaw's Secrets.
• Evolution of a Visual FX.
• Aiden's "We Sleep Forever" Music Video.

Brian De Palma ascended to the highest ranks of American suspense filmmaking with this virtuoso, explicit erotic thriller. At once tongue-in-cheek and scary as hell, Dressed to Kill revolves around the grisly murder of a woman in Manhattan, and what happens when her psychiatrist, her brainiac teenage son, and the prostitute who witnessed the crime try to piece together what happened while the killer remains at large. With its masterfully executed scenes of horror, voluptuous camera work, and passionate score, Dressed to Kill is a veritable symphony of terror, enhanced by vivid performances by Angie Dickinson, Michael Caine, and Nancy Allen.

Throughout the 70's and very early 80's, Brian De Palma released some top-tier Horror Thrillers. Carrie was probably the best of them -and his non-Horror movies like Scarface, The Untouchables, and Carlito's Way are probably his best movies overall- but there was always something about Dressed to Kill that terrified us as kids.

It's stylish as hell, and we can't wait to see that it looks like with the Criterion Collection treatment.

• New, restored 4K digital transfer of director Brian De Palma's preferred unrated version, approved by the director, with uncompressed monaural soundtrack on the Blu-ray.
• New interviews with actor Nancy Allen, producer George Litto, composer Pino Donaggio, shower-scene body double Victoria Lynn Johnson, and poster photographic art director Stephen Sayadian.
• New profile of cinematographer Ralf Bode, featuring filmmaker Michael Apted.
• The Making of "Dressed to Kill," a 2001 documentary featuring De Palma.
• Interview with actor-director Keith Gordon from 2001.
• Video pieces from 2001 about the different versions of the film and the cuts made to avoid an X rating.
• Gallery of storyboards by De Palma.
• Trailer.
• PLUS: An essay by critic Michael Koresky.

Producer John Carpenter (Halloween, The Thing) presents Halloween III: Season of the Witch, the third chilling installment in the shocking Halloween franchise. When a petrified toy salesman is mysteriously attacked and brought to the hospital, babbling and clutching the year’s most popular Halloween costume, an eerie pumpkin mask, Dr. Daniel Challis is thrust into a terrifying Halloween nightmare. Working with the salesman’s daughter, Ellie, Daniel traces the mask to the Silver Shamrock Novelties company and its founder, Conal Cochran. Ellie and Daniel uncover Cochran’s shocking Halloween plan and must stop him before trick-or-treaters across the country never come home.

We almost didn't include this one on August's list, because we don't see how this bare-bones release can even come close to comparing with the Scream Factory Special Edition Blu-ray release that came out back in 2012, but for anyone who wants to see this underrated movie, and doesn't care that much about Special Features, this is a great buy.

*We still recommend that you buy the Scream Factory version though.

Wes Craven, the director of The Serpent and the Rainbow and Shocker, locks you inside the most terrifying house on the street. Trapped inside a fortified home owned by a mysterious couple, a young boy is suddenly thrust into a nightmare. The boy quickly learns the true nature of the house's homicidal inhabitants and the secret creatures hidden deep within the house.

One of our favorite Wes Craven flicks, and certainly one of his most fun efforts, The People Under the Stairs hinted at the director's ability to make and effective Horror Comedy years before he did Scream. This one was a big part of our formative years, and we can't wait to see what Scream Factory has done with the transfer.

• NEW Audio Commentary with writer/director Wes Craven.
• NEW Audio Commentary with actors Brandon Adams, A.J. Langer, Sean Whalen, and Yan Birch
• House Mother – NEW interview with actress Wendy Robie.
• What Lies Beneath – NEW interviews with special make-up effects Artists Greg Nicotero, Howard Berger and Robert Kurtzman.
• House of Horrors – NEW interview with director of photography Sandi Sissel.
• Settling The Score – NEW interview with composer Don Peake.
• Behind-The-Scenes Footage.
• Vintage "Making of" Featurette.
• Theatrical Trailer.
• TV Spots.
• Still Galleries. 

The thin line between comedy and horror is hilariously explored in Student Bodies, a spoof of contemporary slasher films such as Halloween, When A Stranger Calls, Friday the 13th. The body count is rising at Lamab High School where a goulashes-wearing, eggplant/chalkboard eraser/paperclip-wielding serial killer is taking out promiscuous teens at breakneck speed. When intrepid high school student, Toby (Kristen Riter) goes in search of clues that will reveal the killer’s identity, no one is safe from the comic hijinks. 

We've always had a soft spot in our hearts for this silly little Horror Comedy which parodies flicks from the classic 80's Slasher era. We'll be curious to see how much better Blu-ray makes this one look, and will probably add it to our carts and grab it once it hits around $15.

What starts as a seemingly innocent online prank produces a sequence of events that spirals out of control. During a routine group video chat, high-school friends are terrorized by an unseen figure. The anonymous intruder implicates each of them in the death of an acquaintance, revealing damning secrets and transforming trusted allies into wary adversaries. Forced into a sordid "game," the teens try to figure out who is behind the mysterious threat, but all signs point to a power from beyond the grave.

We didn't dig it all that much, but Unfriended is still going to be a massively popular Blu-ray come release day.

Read our review HERE.

The Walking Dead tells the story of the months and years that follow after a zombie apocalypse. It follows a group of survivors, led by former police officer Rick Grimes, who travel in search of a safe and secure home. As the world overrun by the dead takes its toll on the survivors, their interpersonal conflicts present a greater danger to their continuing survival than the walkers that roam the country. Over time, the characters are changed by the constant exposure to death and some grow willing to do anything to survive.

What really needs to be said about The Walking Dead? You either know it and love it, or you can't stand it; if you do love the highest rated show on Cable TV though, then you simply have to own it. And there's no better way to watch it, or anything, than on Blu-ray.

• Audio commentaries featuring Showrunner/Executive Producer/Writer Scott M. Gimple, Executive Producer Gale Anne Hurd, Executive Producer Tom Luse, Executive Producer/Special Effects Make-Up Supervisor /Director Greg Nicotero, Director Julius Ramsay; Actors Lauren Cohan, Chad L. Coleman, Michael Cudlitz, Sonequa Martin-Green, Danai Gurira, Alana Masterson, Melissa McBride, Josh McDermitt, Norman Reedus, Christian Serratos and Steven Yuen.
• Deleted Scenes.
• Inside The Walking Dead.
• The Making of The Walking Dead.
• The Making of Alexandria.
• Beth's Journey.
• Bob's Journey.
• Noah's Journey.
• Tyreese's Journey.
• A Day in the Life of Michael Cudlitz.
• A Day in the Life of Josh McDermitt.
• Rotters in the Flesh.

This Blu-ray set is probably going to be exactly the same as the "normal" set above will be, but it comes with that awesome packaging, and will be housed in a pretty Digi-Book like past Special Editions have been. It will also cost more than the standard version.

It looks wicked though, and might just be the best-looking of any of the Walking Dead Special Edition sets that has been released thus far.

In the aftermath of a comet breaking up over Earth, most of the planet's population quickly succumbs to a strange disease which turns them into "zombies." Few survive, and those who do, quickly discover all existing fuel sources have been rendered useless by the plague.

Wrymwood is a solid low-budget zombie flick that adds a bit of action to the mix, and almost feels like it belongs in the world of Mad Max. Kinda.

• Audio Commentary With The Roache-Turner Brothers.
• The Wyrmdiaries: Behind The Scenes Of WYRMWOOD Featurette.
• Crowdfunding Videos: Wyrmwood Production Pitch.
• Deleted Scenes.
• 7-Minute Teaser Scene.
• Storyboards By The Director.
• Theatrical Trailer.

Read our review HERE.