Review: After.Life (2010)

"Not.Bad"

Sub-Genre- Supernatural... or is it Serial Killer?
Cast Members of Note- Liam Neeson, Christina Ricci and Justin Long.

Christina Ricci plays Anna; and mopey Emo chick who mopes around doing nothing to hide the fact that shes vaguely dissatisfied with her life and her boyfriend, Paul. She even mopes during the middle of tender lovemaking sessions. Worse still than her incessant moping, is the fact that she's kind of a bitch too. One night, while being a bitch and storming out on Paul because she's a woman and they don't listen to reason, she gets into a car accident and wakes up dead...

See what you get for copping an attitude?

Can you really wake up dead? I don't know, but that's certainly what happens. She wakes up in a funeral parlor, dead and being gawked at by a creepy Mortician, who just so happens to look a lot like Liam Neeson. He can talk to spirits you see, which adds even more creepiness to the fact that he likes touching dead bodies for a living, and it's up to him to convince Anna that she's indeed dead. Because she doesn't believe that she's dead. So he has to convince her that she is. Oh, you get the point.

"You're dead, that's why you're moving around!"

The more she fights the idea that she's really dead, the more Liam Neeson tries to convince her that she is, because he wants to help her cross over or something... by the way, she's naked during all of this. Oh yeah. Got your attention now, don't we? Naked and maybe dead, Anna starts to see and experience all sorts of odd and creepy things. Creepy Liam Neeson seems to be doing his best to help her get ready to cross over (what in the hell does that mean, anyway?), but is he up to something more sinister than he'd like her to believe?

"What say you come down in this open grave and we can hug... wait... your parents don't know you're here, do they?"

Throw in a frantic boyfriend that beats up little kids, a creepy little kid that kinda deserves a smack to begin with, and a rapey Cop who almost bones Christina Ricci's dead body, and we have a good old fashioned mystery on our hands? Sure. 

Bea Arthur returns from the grave in After.Life.

Let's be clear about one thing here: this movie is all about Christina Ricci being naked for a majority of its running time. It's a decent enough movie on its own I suppose, though it is bogged down by a few issues, but its biggest selling point it has is a scantily clad/naked Ricci. How great is that!

The movie has enough tension and intrigue to keep most people engaged throughout, though it did feel at times like a paint-by-number Thriller. Is Anna alive or dead? Is Liam Neeson a sadistic killer or a tender Ghost Whisperer? I bought into it all, and I'm not upset that I did.

Liam Neeson is always awesome to watch on screen, and he does a good job here of playing both creepy and sweet at the same time. He keeps you guessing. Ricci is a perennial cutie, and one that apparently has little issue with being naked. Fine by us. This isn't her best work, but then again there's not much depth here for her to explore.

The best thing I can say about After.Life is that I wasn't pissed off after watching it. Now, that might not sound like much of a compliment, but trust me, if a movie is truly bad, I tend to feel violated after watching it, and I usually want revenge. This one was a decent little "Ghost" story though, and I'm still not mad at it.

Lower, please.

What was with the creepy Cop getting off on molesting a corpse? I'm all for kink, but a dead body? Come on man, what is hot about a cold, stiff, beginning-to-rot body, no matter how good it looked when it was alive? Issues man. People have some twisted issues.

Stab him. Stab everyone!

So, what exactly did go on in this movie? Was Anna truly dead and fighting her "cross over" into the afterlife, or was she the prisoner of a sick serial killer, and alive the whole time? I know what I think, though I wont say anything about it here lest it spoil things for you, but there are certainly clues supporting both cases throughout the movie. I just wish I didn't get confused so easily.

Armed with only a knife, her wit, and some rock-hard nipples, Anna vows to discover the truth and/or, cut/poke something.

Lots of corpse gore in this one, but not the graphically excessive type; mostly embalming, injecting and the sewing of things. You know, like normal Funeral Home type stuff. There's some blood, but it all felt very clinical to us.

Christina Ricci is naked in this movie more than she was in Black Snake Moan, and she played a dirty, naked, slut on a chain in that one. Sure, she's a corpse here, but she still looks good sans clothes, even when she's a bit gray...

Might be worth a cold pack.

Never trust Morticians; even if they are decent people, they are fairly creepy and maladjusted. They just have to be, at least to some small extent, don't they?

I guess it's not necrophilia if they ask for it?

Despite all of our instincts telling us not to like this movie, we couldn't help but like After.Life for what it was. It was a bit obvious and nearly cliche in many spots, but it was intriguing and engaging none the less. Also, Christina Ricci being scantily clad or naked for most of the movie's running time only serves to help things. If you like a good Horror Thriller that keeps you guessing until the very end, then this one might be right up your alley. Also, you might like it if you love boobs.

C+

Christina Ricci is a little Hottie, even if she still looks like Wednesday Adams most of the time...