Review: Rubber (2011)

"This movie was wheely hard to like, and yes, I just went there..."

When we first saw the trailer for Rubber, we were absolutely geeked: we've seen Black Sheep and loved it, because it rocked; we watched Black Devil Doll, because it looked too ridiculous and awesome to be true (it was decent); we sat through Thankskilling because it looked crazy (it sucked.) So sure, Rubber had one of the cheesiest plotlines of all time, but we'll be damned if it didn't make us giggle and swear that we had to see it asap.

A telekinetic tire named Robert, on a murderous killing spree? Come on, it's just crazy enough to be brilliant! On paper.

On film however, Rubber and it's "fresh" plot are nowhere near brilliant. In fact, the movie teeters on the edges of annoying and painful more than anything else. It was fun in a quirky way for about the first 10 minutes, as were introduced to our killer tire, Robert, and we see him learn his surroundings and travail the land in search of...something. He crushes a can, he crushes a bottle. He rolls and falls. He looks around as a human would, then rolls on again. He tips over. Pretty neat stuff.

Robert don't give a fuck.

When he happens upon his first live victim, a rabbit, the movie ceases to be interesting. Meet a rabbit... it explodes. Roll on. Meet a bird... it explodes. Roll on. Meet a random string of people... heads explode. Roll on. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It was all very underwhelming and uninspired, and as the movie wore on, got harder and harder to stomach.

Worse still (yes, there is a worse still), was the plot involving the spectators. Oddly enough, this horrible and nonsensical plot line took up most of the movie, almost pushing Robert and his story to the background. Sure, we get that the spectators were us, and the filmmakers were making a "statement" about movie audiences and how they will take what's fed to them for the most part, but go fucking preach to someone else already... or...  at least make your preaching clever and enjoyable, so as to validate your own point.

Why?

And for those fans out there who defend this movie by saying "but it's a scathing jab to the midsection of Hollywood, and an indictment of their unoriginality... you just aren't getting it!" We get it. The fact of the matter is that Rubber was not an enjoyable movie, no matter what its purpose. If you're going to make movie about how shitty Hollywood drivel can be, at least don't make it shitty itself, or you're not really making much of a statement at all.

You're sheep. All of you.

This was a disappointment. It's a one punchline joke that repeats itself over and over, managing very few moments of actual humor. It isn't scary, though it's fairly bloody in spots (but even that was pretty underwhelming too.) In the end, Rubber isn't nearly as smart as it thinks it is, and it's a sad thing too; it could have been a brilliant little slice of B-movie schlock had it stuck with the tire aspect and tried to play it straight.

D

They're in this.