Our TV Release Dates List has been updated; 12 shows ending this week.

There are no TV Premieres this week (or this month for that matter, save for Marco Polo on Netflix), but there are 12 shows leaving the airwaves between Dec. 7th-13th, two of them for good.

Yes, the TV landscape is going to be pretty barren after this week, but it's The Holidays, so that's to be expected. Still., it's going to suck not to have some of our favorite shows to fall asleep to, until things pick back up in January.

*To see everything that is currently airing (and what's coming soon), be sure to check out our TV Release Dates Page.

After 7 fantastic seasons, Sons of Anarchy will end its run on Tuesday. Although it's definitely had its ups and downs, Sons is one of our favorite shows, and Tuesday nights will feel a little emptier for us after the 3-hour long finale (includes Anarchy Afterword) is over. If you've never seen SOA, then you should really check it out, as it truly is a great show that packs tons of action and emotional beats that have thrilled us and killed us since 2008. If you have watched it, and you love it like we do, then we share in your sadness at seeing it end.

As for Gracepoint, FOX hasn't officially announced its cancellation, but it's quite possibly done after this week's Season 1 Finale. A remake of the hit U.K. show, Broadchurch, Gracepoint always felt like a pale imitation of the original to us, so if FOX does announce a Season 2, we'll be surprised. For now, we're considering this the end of the show.

*A few of these shows ended last week, but we're including them here because. Just because. That's it.

Of all the shows airing their season finales this week (mid, or otherwise), It's Kingdom that we'll miss the most.

Where this DirecTV drama about the world of MMA came from, and how it's been so figging good, we can't say, but damn it if Kingdom hasn't been one of the best TV Shows that we've watched all year.

Watching Frank Grillo, Jonathan Tucker, and Matt Lauria do their beastly thing each week has been a genuine pleasure for us to witness, and I'll tell you right now, they've all given Emmy-worthy performances in this show. Even Nick Jonas (yes, one of The Jonas Brothers) is fantastic in this show, and we do realize how ridiculous that sounds.

Kingdom is a drama of the highest order, and if you don't have DirecTV, then definitely check it out when it inevitably hits Blu-ray & DVD. If you do have DirecTV, then what are you waiting for? 

Blu-ray Review: As Above, So Below (2014)

(aka Yeah, Let's Go Down There.)
Release Date: December 2nd (BD)
Country: USA.. 
Rating: Unrated.
Written by: Drew Dowdle & John Erick Dowdle.
Directed by: John Erick Dowdle.
Starring: Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge, and Francois Civil.

The Dowdle Brothers have a pretty decent track record when it comes to making Horror flicks: The Poughkeepise Tapes (Review), Quarantine (Review), and Devil all have their strong points, even if they weren't perfect efforts. They can craft a solid story, that much is evident.


With their new effort, As Above, So Below, they have maybe made the best film of their career, or at least their most engaging one.

Scarlett is a QT Scholar of Alchemy who is in search of the fabled Philosopher's Stone; a legendary substance that is said to be able to turn lead into gold, and may also have the ability to heal wounds, and possibly even grant immortality. If only she'd taken the time to watch any of the Harry Potter films, she would have known that it had been tucked safely away at Hogwarts the entire time.

WORST SHADOW TURKEY EVER.

She'll stop at nothing to get the stone (because she's selfish and careless) including risking death in Iran, or conning her claustrophobic ex-boyfriend into traveling into the depths of the massive tunnels that lie far below Paris, where it's apparently hidden. I mean, she abandoned the guy once while searching for the stone, so it really takes some nerve to ask him to help her again, especially considering his petrifying fear of being underground (due to a personal tragedy he suffered as a kid.) She's obviously thoughtful and caring, folks.

"I KNOW YOUR LITTLE BROTHER DIED IN A BIZARRE MINING ACCIDENT, BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT!"

She assembles a rag-tag group of young Urban Explorers to take them into the tunnels below Paris, and they waste no time getting started. Soon after they enter the "forbidden zone" of the tunnel system, the path behind them collapses, which forces them to take a new, more perilous path, from which from no one foolish enough to venture down has ever returned. Scarlett thinks that sounds like a great idea, and that nothing bad could possibly happen from delving deeper into the dark, abandoned, forbidden zone, which according to ancient legend, is the home to the Gateway to Hell itself. Sure thing.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Form here on out, shit gets really tight (physically) and creepy (physically and mentally), and it's not long before the group realizes that they should have stayed above ground, because Satan is down here with them, and he's intent on killing them all for being so blatantly stupid. Supernatural shenanigans ensue.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, DUMMY.

Lots of critics shit on this movie, most of them dismissing it outright as a poor offering that did little right, which we do not understand. Not that most critics that make up the Rotten Tomatoes aggregate don't have a stick shoved up their ass to begin with, but this movie was far from being as bad as they would have you believe.In fact, it's actually pretty good.

As Above, So Below is a very effective Cinema Verite effort that was filled with some great ideas, a better backstory than most other films of its kind would bother to conjure up, and some genuinely harrowing, terrifying, scenes & sequences. Are you claustrophobic? If so, this movie will give you fits. To me, the idea of anybody of sound mind willingly crawling through tight spaces and spelunking into the depths of the Earth is a terrifying prospect, and this movie conveys that sense of danger perfectly.

"ENTER HERE, ALL YE WHO WISH TO PASS AWAY."

Any film that deals with the idea of its characters exploring or drawing close to the Gateway to Hell (Event Horizon, for example) is compelling to us. When you take that whole conceit and set it hundreds of feet underground, it of course gets even more compelling, mainly because the idea of being trapped underground makes any scenario extra terrifying. Much like Beneath (Review) or The Descent, both of which involve people being trapped underground while fighting off some sort of evil threat, As Above, So Below plays on the condition of claustrophobia to maximum effect. As we said above, if tight spaces terrify you, then this movie will absolutely give you fits.

The bottom line is that this movie entertained us without making us feel like morons for liking it, and in the end, that's all that really matters.

WELL GO ON. WE'LL WAIT HERE FOR YOU TO NOT RETURN.

Anyone who willingly ventures into the bowels of the Earth for any reason, is insane.

"WHAT'S IT LIKE TO STARE INTO THE EYE OF SATAN'S BUTTHOLE?" IT'S PRETTY MUCH JUST LIKE THIS.

Why do so many "strong" female characters come off as pushy, careless, and selfish? Scarlett really does come off as some spoiled little girl who thinks that she can do whatever she wants to achieve her goals, without seriously considering how dire the consequences of her actions could be for not only herself, but for everyone else she's involved in her crazy schemes.

She's really cute though, so I suppose that makes it alright?

OH, ALL YOU WANT IT THE TRUTH? WELL THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.

This one isn't all that heavy on the blood & gore; one or two graphic scenes, and that's about it.

Nope. Not even so much as a menage a trois.

Don't ever let an overly-ambitious girl talk you into exploring catacombs that are hundreds of feet below ground; she'll only get you killed.

OH NOW YOU'RE CONCERNED?

Don't listen to critics who decry this movie as being bland or sub-par, because As Above, So Below is a solid movie that played better than do most Found Footage/POV flicks. The bottom line is that this is an entertaining movie that will most likely give you a good fright or two along the way, and it's definitely worthy of a rent, if not a buy.

B+

As Above, So Below is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

Perdita Weeks is a fairly accomplished actress who isn't afraid to show up n a Horror flick like this one or Prowl (Review), every now and then. She's also fairly hot. She's also got a sister named Honeysuckle and a brother named Rollo, which makes us wonder what their parents were thinking.

VOD Review: Tusk (2014)

(aka #WalrusYes.)
Release Date: September 19th.
Country: R. 
Rating: Unrated.
Written & Directed by: Kevin Smith.
Starring: Justin Long, Michael Parks, Genesis Rodriguez, Haley Joel Osment, and... Johnny Depp?

The one thing you need to know going into Tusk is that it's a total goof.

Kevin Smith and his long-time partner Scott Mosier came up with the idea for Tusk after reading a fake Internet ad (read about that HERE), and it struck them as so insane, that they started talking about how they could make it into a movie.

Laughing his ass off at the prospect, Kevin Smith asked his fans to take to Twitter and vote #WalrusYes or #WalrusNo on the idea, not imagining that there would be much of a response to such a silly idea...  Well, apparently, the answer was a resounding #WalrusYes, because here we are a little over a year later, watching the very movie that Smith and Mosier joked about making.

And it was pretty damned entertaining.

Wallace Bryton is a failed stand-up comic turned D-bag Podcaster, who makes a living by making fun of people who star in Viral Videos, because he is a D-bag. He travels to Manitoba, Canada to interview an Internet "Celebrity" called The Kill Bill Kid -whom he and his Podcaster partner made endless fun of after seeing a video in which he cut off his own leg with a sword while pretending to be a ninja or something- only to find that the poor little bastard has killed himself, most likely because of the fact that he was ridiculed on some shitty Podcast hosted by a guy with a shitty moustache.

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT (FOR DOUCHEBAGS.)

Sad that his big story is now dead (not that he basically drove a kid to kill himself), Wallace finds himself taking a piss in some Canadian bar, where he finds a handbill above the urinal which offers "a free bed and a lifetime of stories" to anyone willing to travel to Bifrost, Manitoba, and keep company with a lonely old man. Given that Wallace's moustache looks like something straight out of gay porn, he's naturally intrigued by this totally legit offer that doesn't at all sound like some sort of bathhouse code for "gay gang-bang at my place, woo!"

DUDE, HOW ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT THIS TURNED OUT TO BE SKEEVY?

Wallace travels to Bifrost to the mansion of one Howard Howe; a wheelchair-bound, retired seaman who speaks eloquently, quotes famous authors with ease, and seems to have a special fondness for walruses. They have tea together, during which Howard Howe recalls fantastic tales of his youth, in particular the story of how a walrus named Mr. Tusk once saved his life, and how he misses him so... and them Wallace passes out from the drugs in his tea.

SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

When Wallace wakes up, he not only finds that his leg has been amputated, but that Howard Howe is intent on surgically turning him into a walrus. Yes, from this point forward, things get even weirder than they have been up until this point... and we're talking Johnny Depp weird here, folks.

LITERALLY, JOHNNY DEPP WEIRD.

Tusk is a movie that you absolutely can not take seriously, mainly because writer/director Kevin Smith doesn't even take it seriously himself; he made it for a goof folks, and he knows just how ridiculous and stupid the entire thing is. Thankfully for us, he also knows how to make the ridiculous and stupid things in life play funny on-screen, which makes this bizarre movie an oddly entertaining effort.

I've come to accept the fact that most people either really love Kevin Smith (and his movies), or they just flat out hate the dude. There's probably a middle ground there somewhere, but I've just never heard anyone say "Kevin Smith is alright, I guess." No, it's either "I love Kevin Smith!" or "Fuck Kevin Smith, he's a fucking hack!" We've always loved Kevin Smith (probably because we have the minds of 12-year-old boys, and dick and fart jokes make us laugh), but the fact is that the guy knows how to make a decent movie. Tusk may be a goof in many ways, but it's also pretty funny and fairly disturbing, and it entertained us from start to finish. Maybe it's just one of those "this might just be crazy enough to work!" type of scenarios, because it is, and it does.

The bottom line is that Tusk is a crazy movie that plays mostly like a black comedy, but it has just enough creepy and nasty bits thrown in there to make it a legitimate Horror flick as well. If you're familiar with Kevin Smith's work, then you pretty much know what to expect here.

KEVIN SMITH AND JOHNNY DEPP'S KIDS ARE IN THIS MOVIE.

Justin Long is great in this movie. His character is a complete tool, and we couldn't wait to see him be turned into a walrus so that he'd shut his snarky, idiotic ass, the hell up. Long is a pretty funny guy, and he plays the role of annoying Podcaster fucktard perfectly in this one.

THAT MOUSTACHE THO...

Even better than Justin Long, is the display of acting magnificence that Michael Parks put on in Tusk. I'm really not sure how the man isn't cast in 20 movies a year, because he's great in everything that he does. Parks has a hypnotic, fierce quality about him, and the way that he goes about tackling his roles is just mesmerizing to watch. He's one of the best actors that Hollywood has ever seen, that isn't celebrated as such, which is really a shame; the guy is a living legend who was at one time blacklisted by all of Hollywood because he refuse to compromise himself artistically. He was also good friends with Johnny Cash, which probably gives you a good idea of just how much of a bad-ass he is.

The point is, Michael Parks is a scene-stealer of the highest order, and if you see Tusk for no other reason, see it to watch him do his thing. Then go watch We Are What We Are, because he was brilliant in that too.

74 YEARS OLD, AND STILL A BAD-ASS.

Genesis Rodriguez and Haley Joel Osment are solid in their supporting roles too, although we have to admit that seeing how much the little kid from The Sixth Sense has grown up, makes us feel a bit old. And did we mention that Johnny Depp is in Tusk as well? No? Because he is.

"I SEE WALRUS PEOPLE."

Tusk is a movie that is a silly as it is fun, which is made into something respectable by its lead performances. While we had a good time with this movie, we totally understand that it won't work for everyone. You pretty much already know which side of that fence you'll land on though, so watch or avoid Tusk accordingly.

B+

Tusk is available now on VOD, and will hit Blu-ray & DVD on December 30th.

Hello, Genesis Rodriguez. You seem to have some cream on your belly...