Review: Forget me Not (2010)

"Disclaimer: Though this review makes multiple less-than-flattering references to whores and sluts, we here at THC fully support whores and sluts in all of their forms. Carry on..."

Cast Members of Note- Carly Schroeder, Cody Linley, Brittany Renee Finamore, Micah Alberti, and the hot as balls Brie Gabrielle.

A group of kids decide to play an innocent game of "Ghost in the Graveyard" and end up giving the local creepy kid a seizure, scaring her into a coma. On purpose. Aren't kids cute/assholes?

Creepy kid.

Years later, the same group of asshole kids are now asshole teenagers, and are getting ready to head off to College and start their lives as asshole adults. Now, instead of silly childhood games, they play things like "Drink to excess," "I'm a total whore," and "Let's drink to excess, because I'm a total whore."

Drink up, total whore.

In a moment of fond recollection, they decide to get loaded and head back to the old graveyard for one more game of "Ghost in the Graveyard." This time however, the annoying jerks rouse the ire of a vengeful spirit, which is hell-bent on offing them one by one, ala the game itself. Except it's real. But like the game. Real though. I'm sure you get it.

Tag, they're it!

Only the virginal princess knows what's happening to them, and of course her friends all think she's bat-shit crazy, which makes them all even more annoying and disposable. Can she stop the game in time to save her friends? Will everyone die, leaving her insane and alone? Will any of the hot chicks get naked and stop teasing us? Maybe, maybe not. I'll say no more.

"Who you callin' virginal?"

This movie is essentially one big game of Ghost in the Graveyard, but real life creepy-style. A mixture of your typical Teen Slasher and your equally-as-typical Asian ghost story, Forget Me Not is better than I thought it would be, but not quite as good as I'd hoped.

The movie is pretty, everyone in the movie is pretty, the story is fairly interesting and the premise well done, and had it been "scary" at all, I would have loved it to pieces. As it stands though, it's a mostly entertaining flick that won't make you unhappy to waste an hour and a half on.

She is about to be "it"... forever!

This movie felt too tame for all of its slutty characters and bloody death scenes. Had it pushed the envelope just a bit more, it could have been something special. Too tame! 

Yes, by "push the envelope" we mean get naked.

This movie is filled with whores, whores, whores. Screwing this one, screwing that one, sitting around in large groups and talking about who they've screwed before... in front of their boyfriends. Even with all of their free-spirited sass, none of them got naked!

"Get naked for you? Right! lol"

Surprisingly, this one had some cool kills and a decent amount of blood. I'm most partial to the industrial machine death myself.

A young Bella Thorne.

Boo! With all of the hot, nubile, slutty girls in this movie, are you telling me we can't get one naked boob? WTF?!

Tease!

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, release the one ignored by heaven... 8, 9, 10, now run and hide or join her at the devil's side... 11 comes, the clocks will chime, forgotten souls erased by time... Midnight comes it's not too late, so kill the ghost or seal your fate!"

Yeah, that rhyme means you're doomed.

Holy shit is that Christopher Atkins?!? And that one other guy who I've seen in some stuff from the 80's? I guess that this teaches us that B-movie actors never truly die. Also, never pick on the sick, creepy kid, or you will pass away

Just like that.

Forget Me Not was a decent effort, hampered only by being too tame and not being all that scary. That aside, it's a fun way to spend a couple of hours, especially if you like movies filled with pretty people behaving badly. How can you not love that?

B

Forget Me Not is available now on DVD, and VOD.

I am in love. Yes, Again.

Review: Triangle (2009)

In Attendance- Me, Machine, Karrie and Dave.
Cast Members of Note- Melissa George, Liam Hemsworth, Michael Dorman, Rachael Carpani and Emma Lung.

Mmmelissa George is a shitty mom who is more interested in going on party boats than she is in taking care of her special needs son. Then again she's hot, so certain things can be accepted and tolerated. Come on, hot moms that suck at being moms but have no problem partying, make the world go 'round. You have to admit it.

Boy that party looks real fun.

She and her friends hit the open seas for a day of drinking, sex and probably cocaine, but they run afoul of an "odd" weather system that lasts all of 2 seconds, and yet capsizes their boat, leaving them helpless. As luck would have it, and equally "odd" cruise ship comes alone and they jump aboard seeking refuge.

Oh now you wanna go back and be with your kid... sure.

As bad luck would have it, the ship is totally deserted save for a lone masked killer who is hell bent on killing anyone that sets foot aboard the U.S.S. Whatthefuck. It's a race against time (literally) for survival, as everybody on board and in the audience gets totally confused. Will Mmmellisa Goroge save the day? Will we ever find out what in the hell is going on? What in the hell just happened?

Wait... what?!?

From the director of Creep and Severance comes Triangle; a creepy, twisty little movie that showcases Mmmeslissa George in all of her pouty sexiness. Not only is she a sexy bitch, but she carries the movie, making us believe the whole "concerned mother" bit as well as kinda becoming a decent Final Girl. The best thing about Triangle is the fact that the twists and plot turns are actually pretty interesting, although in the end I REALLY wanted more of a resolution. I can't say too much about the plot or why I wanted more of my questions answered, because I'd spoil it for you, but all I wanted a payoff, and we never truly got one.

Shoot the ending, and then give us a new one!

The ocean creeps me out. I'm fascinated by massive waves (such as in movies like The Perfect Storm), and when the sailboat encounters rough seas, really rough seas, I totally puckered up. I don't mean my lips either.

The ocean terrifies her now, too.

Once again, Aussie Hottie Mmmelissa George fails to get naked and show us her "down under" or her "up top" for that matter. Do it while you're young baby. Do it because we, your fans, need to see your stuff!

Yeah, that stuff.

Multiple acts of shotgun violence, some impaling, and a pile of bodies. Literally. This one is about a medium on the gore scale.

Literal piles.

Nope. Of course not. Why would any Horror flick starring Mmmelissa George have any sex or nudity in it?!? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Don;t hide from nudity, Mmmelissa.

If you ever capsize in the middle of the ocean, try swimming for shore and avoid the creepy cruise ship. Also, karma/fate truly is a bitch.

Nice view.

Triangle was a solid effort; engrossing, creepy (for a while), tense, and even a bit depressing. The twists and turns actually managed to hold my interest, which was surprising to me, as most "smart" Horror flicks end up being too smart for their own good. I'd have preferred it to be a bit more bloody and less "cerebral" if you will, and once again Mmmelissa George failed to get naked for us, but it's still more than worth a watch when you get the chance.

B

Triangle is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

More Mmmelissa George please. Preferably in some Horror flick that involves strippers or lesbians. Or both.

Upcoming Movie Spotlight- Amer (2010)

What's it About?- Ana is confronted to Body and Desire at three key moments of her life. Her carnal search sways between reality and colored fantasies becoming more and more oppressive. A black laced hand prevents her from screaming. The wind lifts her dress and caresses her thighs. A razor blade brushes her skin, where will this chaotic and carnivorous journey leave her? Official Site Teaser (This one is short, but very unsettling) Trailer Our Verdict: If this movie is half as good as it looks from these trailers, then we may be in for something special. This is one to keep an eye out for, and we will certainly keep you in the loop. Oh, and the teeth thing... damn!