July 29, 2010

The New Daughter (2010)

"A direct to video horror flick starring Kevin Costner... and it could have been worse."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0951335/
Sub-Genre- Supernatural/Creature
Cast Members of Note- Kevin Cosnter, Ivana Baquero, Samantha Mathis, Eric Palladino, Noah Taylor and James Gammon.

I don't know why I though he was dead, but Kevin Costner is still alive, and he has a new daughter! He has a son too, but who cares about him. The movie isn't called The New Son now is it?

After the death of his wife, Waterworld moves to the country with his two kids, to "start over" and to "leave the past behind." They also aim to "move on with their lives", "make a new beginning", and "forget mommy never existed." I guess there's something about trees and well water that makes people want to do all of those things in the quiet, Kinfolk-filled country. Odd how it never seems to work out as planned in these movies though, isn't it?

Aah, country life!
Unfortunately for them, their new house is situated on a piece of land that also harbors a creepy looking mound that talks to Bull Durham's daughter, and makes her act odd and stare into space a lot. Indian Burial Grounds can never just be serene or peaceful, can they? Instead, the "Ancient Spirits" are always pissed off or they place some crazy curse on anyone foolish enough to come too close... that's so racial!

That looks way too creepy to live in.
As Robin Hood notices his "new" daughter setting creepier and creepier, he must race against time to learn a lot about Indian Spirits and save his family from some mongoloid-looking mutant-things. Can he save his daughter from certain death? Will they pay for trespassing on the lands of the dead with their very lives? Will anyone ever get the bad taste of Waterworld out of their mouth? I won't spoil what comes next here, but I will say just forget about Waterworld; If you want to feel true pain, try sitting through The Postman. Makes me shiver just to think about that movie.

"You talkin' bad bout mah' movies?" Yes Kevin. We are.
I had almost forgotten that Kevin Costner had a career until I saw the poster for this movie. True, he was in Mr. Brooks and The Guardian recently, which were both good flicks in their own right, but I never thought I'd see the day when he'd be a guy whose movies went Direct to DVD.

Surprisingly, for the most part, this movie was pretty good. Despite being slow in parts, using a tired premise, and the fact that Kevin Costner played maybe the worst dad in the history of Horror flicks, The New Daughter was fairly dark and eerie, had some decent bloody moments towards the end, and didn't totally piss me off. That may not sound like much of a compliment, but trust me, it is. If it was engaging enough for me not to want to fall asleep or hit fast-forward, then it definitely has some merit to it.

This thing looks like it has a vagina dentata in the mouth.
Is it me, or did Kevin Costner play the dumbest father in the history of Parenthood in this movie? You move your family to a new, isolated house in the country and odd things begin to happen, but you do nothing. Something is clearly wrong with your daughter, but do nothing. Someone/something is clearly watching your home, but, no biggie. Someone/something has clearly entered your home without your knowledge, and you just frown about it.

Family pet found slaughtered? Look around at the trees and think "this doesn't seem normal." The babysitter is kidnapped? It happens. Her murdered body is found half eaten? Wow, that's a little odd. A stalking, home invading, murdering something or other is out there and messing with you, but you don't take the kids and hightail it out of there, you just wonder what's happening and do nothing? Best of all, he leaves his really young son alone in the house, to go find his daughter mind you, when he pretty much knows he isn't coming back alive... Epic Parenting Fail, Kevin Costner!

Why bury the shotgun? Can't you just keep it in the closet, unloaded, and know where the shells are in case of an emergency... an emergency like mutant monsters attacking your house and trying to eat your kids?

Surprisingly, there is a little bit of fun violence towards the end of the movie, most notably a rather messy throat bleed-out scene. This is not a flick for Gorehounds though.

"Tell me what's wrong, or I can't help you!"
Ivana Baquero takes a shower and has scene which is technically topless, but since she's only 16, it didn't do much for us. So I guess the answer is no on the nudity and sex.

Do not turn around until you're 18. Thank you.
Kevin Costner is still kinda cool. Also, don't mess with Indian Corpse Mounds, as you will be haunted soon thereafter, and possibly be killed. Not by the mound itself, but by some spirits that live inside.. oh, you know what I mean.

If you can shut your brain off and ignore some sloppy writing, and dismiss the fact that no one in this movie ever made a good decision, it's actually kinda fun. Mostly. Filled with a pretty awesome cast right down to the bit players, The New Daughter is worth watching, especially if you have a free rental coming from Netflix or something. If not, maybe just wait until it hits cable.

C

Don't you give me that face, Kevin Costner, a C is all you get!

4 comments :

  1. Waterworld and The Postman were cool movies! What did you expect, really?

    And your comment about the racial American-Indian burial grounds is so spot on. I remember watching those wonderful Studio Ghibli animes by Miyazaki and feeling uneasy (in the way that it was unfamiliar to me) that the native spiritual world was not evil and sometimes not even good, just wonderous. This is something Western movies have gradually lost to the point of being ridiculous.

    Creepy monsters out of Indian mounds? They didn't mind being enslaved, murdered and pretty much ethnically cleansed for 500 years, but they get upset that Kevin Costner lives nearby? Although, they maybe feeling the same about Waterworld

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  2. Siderite, maybe we just need to accept that Kevin Costner is a shitty neighbor, or that the monsters were looking for revenge for Dances With Wolves?

    And Waterworld I liked, The Postman made me cringe :)

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  3. Sexy back on ivana

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  4. You are wrong about Ivana Baqueros age.

    When the topless scene was filmed, she was only 14 years old.

    But I have no problem with it but she could have turned around.

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