THE NEW DAUGHTER
Cast Members of Note- Kevin Cosnter, Ivana Baquero, Samantha Mathis, Eric Palladino, Noah Taylor and James Gammon.
What's it About?- I don't know why I though he was dead, but Kevin Costner is still alive, and he has a new daughter! He has a son too, but who cares about him. The movie isn't called The New Son now is it?
After the death of his wife, Waterworld moves to the country with his two kids, to "start over" and to "leave the past behind." They also aim to "move on with their lives", "make a new beginning", and "forget mommy never existed." I guess there's something about trees and well water that makes people do all of those things in the quiet, kinfolk-filled country. Odd how it never seems to work out as planned in these movies though,
Unfortunately for them, their new house is situated on a piece of land that also harbors a creepy looking mound that talks to Bull Durham's daughter, and makes her act odd and stare into space a lot. Indian burial grounds can never just be serene or peaceful, can they? Instead, the "ancient spirits" are always pissed off or they place some crazy curse on anyone foolish enough to come too close... that's so racial!
As Robin Hood notices his "new" daughter setting creepier and creepier, he must race against time to learn a lot about Indian spirits and save his family from some mongoloid looking mutant-things. Can he save his daughter from certain death? Will they pay for trespassing on the lands of the dead with their very lives? Will anyone ever get the bad taste of Waterworld out of their mouth? I won't spoil what comes next here, but I will say forget about Waterworld. If you want to feel true pain, try sitting through The Postman. Makes me shiver just to think about that movie.
The Good- I had almost forgotten that Kevin Costner had a career until I saw the poster for this movie. True, he was in Mr. Brooks and The Guardian recently, which were both good flicks in their own right, but I never thought I'd see the day when he'd be a guy that went Direct to DVD. And surprisingly for the most part, this movie was pretty good.
Despite being slow in parts, using a tired premise, and the fact that Kevin Costner played maybe the worst dad in the history of horror flicks, The New Daughter was fairly dark and eerie, had some decent bloody moments towards the end, and didn't totally piss me off. That may not sound like much of a compliment, but trust me, it is. If it was engaging enough for me not to want to fall asleep of hit fast-forward, then it definitely has some merit to it.
The Bad- Is it me, or did Kevin Costner play the dumbest father in the history of parenthood in this movie? You move your family to a new, isolated house in the country and odd things begin to happen, but you do nothing? Something is clearly wrong with your daughter, but do nothing. Someone/something is clearly watching your home, but no biggie. Someone/something has clearly entered your home without your knowledge, but you just frown about it. Family pet found slaughtered? Look around at the trees and think "This doesn't seem normal." The babysitter is kidnapped? It happens. Her murdered body is found half eaten? Wow, that's a little odd. A stalking, home invading, murdering something or other is out there and messing with you, but you don't take the kids and hightail it out of there, you just wonder what's happening and do nothing? Best of all, he leaves his really young son alone in the house, to go find his daughter mind you, when he pretty much knows he isn't coming back alive... Epic Parenting Fail, Kevin Costner.
The Downright Horrendous- Why bury the shotgun? Can't you just keep it in the closet, unloaded, and know where the shells are in case of an emergency... an emergency like mutant monsters attacking your house and trying to eat your kids?
The Gory- Surprisingly, there is a little bit of fun violence towards the end of the movie, most notably a rather messy throat bleed-out scene. This is not a flick for gore hounds though.
The Naked- Ivana Baquero takes a shower and has scene which is technically topless, but since she's only 16, it didn't do much for us. So I guess the answer is no on the nudity and sex.
What did we learn?- Kevin Costner is still kinda cool. Also, don't mess with Indian corpse mounds, as you will be haunted soon thereafter, and possibly be killed. Not by the mound itself, but by some spirits that live inside.. oh, you know what I mean.
The Master Says- C- (6.0/10) If you can shut your brain off and ignore some sloppy writing, and dismiss the fact that no one in this movie made a good decision, it's actually kinda fun. Mostly. Filled with a pretty awesome cast right down to the bit players, The New Daughter is worth watching, especially if you have a free rental coming from Netflix or something. If not, maybe wait until it hits cable or something.
Final Thoughts- Don't you give me that face, Kevin Costner. C- is all you get!