July 27, 2008

Solo Review- Who Can Kill a Child?

Who Can Kill a Child?
Sub-Genre- Creepy Kids
In Attendance- Me
Cast Members of Note- A bunch of creepy little kids.

What's it about?- A couple decide to take a two week vacation on some crappy little Island, only to find the place inhabited by evil, and possibly possessed little kids.

Awww, how not cute.
These kids do fun, cute little things such as beating old men to death, using corpses as pinatas, molesting dead bodies, and playing naked hopscotch. Luckily for the couple, they don't catch on to this stuff to early in their trip, so they get a chance to walk around and see the sights.

I wont spoil the ending here, but suffice it to say that one of the kids doesn't make it.

He isn't sleeping.
The Good- Who Can Kill a Child? is creepy; from the footage of real life war atrocities suffered by children over the opening credits, to the idea that an entire town full of kids gets possessed and kill the adults like it was a game. This movie gets under your skin and stays there, and in my case had me rooting for the adults to kill the kids, which is creepy in its own right.

It's a well made film for the 70's... and were it not for the dumb as a box of hammers main characters, I'd say it's among the best from that era. I just cant buy anyone leaving their pregnant wife alone in an abandoned town while they go around looking for, and finding creepy shit. It did greatly add to the tension though.

Yeah, you're trapped.
The Bad- So let me get this straight... You and your pregnant wife are on an island which appears deserted except for a few kids, when you start to notice a few things that seem "odd"; such as a small girl caning an old man to death so that she and her friends can play pinata with the body using a sickle. You tell your wife nothing is wrong, then leave her alone to rummage around in the attic while you're off finding more dead bodies in your hotel. Even when you see a gang of  kids attempting to strip and rape a woman's newly dead body, it takes you forever to say "We need to leave."

Right.

The Downright Horrendous- A baby killing it's mother from inside of the womb is pretty fucked up. Sickle-pinata with granddad isn't very sweet either.

The Gory- Plenty of bloody corpses are laying about; An old man gets beat to death off screen; a game of sickle-pinata; kids mowed down by a machine gun.... there's plenty of age-inappropriate carnage here, folks.

The Naked- Some naked corpse boobs... nothing exciting.

Those creepy little corpse rapers!
Best Line- "Fuck this shit, we need to go!" Oh wait, they never said that.

What did we learn?- If weird shit starts to happen and you don't get the hell out of dodge, you deserve death; also, fuck the police.

C+ As a horror movie, I give it an A; it's creepy as hell and the premise is genuinely terrifying... however, the absolutely moronic behavior by the lead actors in the face of danger brings the film down a few grades. It's worth checking out for sure, but i guarantee you'll be yelling "leave already!" at the screen way before they get smart enough to realize it on their own.

I would have ran every last fucking one of those little bastards over with the car.

Every. Last. One.

2 comments :

  1. i totally agree with your What did we learn paragraph thing "If weird shit starts to happen and you don't get the hell out of dodge, you deserve death; also, fuck the police" i haven't seen this movie but out of all the horror movies i have seen the people are always so dumb and the police NEVER help they always make it worse,think the person's crazy or get killed.waste of time putting cops in movies,if you ask me.

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  2. The husband tried to play macho too much and the wife is annoying as shit. Yeah, I was satisfied to see them die. I wished someone else showed up and threw a grenade or something similar into the crowd of kids.

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