April 28, 2008

Review: American Psycho (2000)

In Attendance- Me, Eryn, and The Vanilla Gorilla (Nicknames are used to protect the innocent, bear with us folks.)

Patrick Bateman, avid 80's music collector, spends his free time educating people on the social implications of the music of such bands as Huey Lewis and the News and Phil Collins. He is also bat-shit nuts, and likes to kill hookers, homeless people, and small kittens. Lucky for him that he lives and kills in the 80's; possibly the most self-indulgent and ignorant decade that we as humans have ever survived.

Huey Lewis & The News... check 'em!
While everyone else is talking about their portfolios and bone colored business cards, Patrick is spreading the message of utter insanity and the benefits of apricot facial scrubs. Hell no he isn't smarmy! He will ask a street hooker to was her vagina only to turn around and ask a high priced call girl to "eat it." If that isn't blurring the socio-economic lines of the class war, I don't know what is.

So he kills all sorts of people, all of them deserving (save for the dumb-as-a-sack-of-hammers model), doing so with a flair unmatched amongst the ranks of serial killers. I wont ruin the ending here, but I will say that it shows us that most people are clueless lemmings and definitely deserve to die. It also gives us a new fondness for 80's pop music.

Apparently, he's a messy eater.
Brilliant from start to finish, American Psycho blends disturbing imagery with a more than fitting social commentary about 80's excess. Christian Bale proves once again, that he is one of the most talented and diverse actors to ever grace the screen.

This movie is perfect for first dates.

Christian Bale's ass. This movie needed more of the ladies getting naked, especially Reese Witherspoon. Also, The Habitrail scene, one of the nastiest scenes in the book, was omitted from the film. Think starved rodent, a habitrail tube, and a hooker that deserves to be punished. Tell me that wouldn't be twisted and brilliant to see as a deleted scene...

Tube City.
I cant believe he was going to feed the ATM machine a kitten!

Gore galore in this one. It's not as nasty and graphic as the book, but American Psycho (the Unrated version, of course), is still pretty disturbing and violent.

She's the one he actually likes.
Hookers having a threesome with Patrick Bateman, and various debutantes having sex... so, yes.

"Hey Paul!" or "My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."

Who doesn't do that during sex?
80's music has something to say, and in fact, can change the world if only we'd listen closer.

American Psycho is a modern day classic that you must own if you truly love Horror. There's so much at work in the narrative, that you could dissect it for hours, and not even touch but a fraction of it. Also, it's blood and wicked, and full of great moments and lines.

Also, Batman is in it.


American Psycho is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.


Reese Witherspoon is looking good in this one, though her character was insufferable. Chloe Sevigny too. Let's not forget her.

April 23, 2008

#1 & 2- 28 Days Later and 30 Days of Night

So we have officially kicked off the club with our first night of horror DVD's. Here begin the reviews!

28 Days Later (2002)  
Sub-Genre- Post-Apocalyptic Monkey Zombie Mania!
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, and The Vanilla Gorilla (Nicknames are used to protect the innocent, bear with us folks.)

A bunch of angry monkeys get out of their cages and bite someone, thus beginning the spread of a virus that makes everyone else angry too. Soon enough, everyone in the United Kingdom is pissed off and red-eyed, and the country becomes populated by "Sort of Zombies."

Jim (Cillian Murphy), wakes up from a coma, unaware that all of this has happened, and we see his penis. He sets off in search of Bangers and Mash, but finds only deserted streets and angry "Sort of Zombies" that apparently hate him and would like to smack him in the mouth.

He meets a hot black chick, and vows to take up break dancing. Along the way, they meet up with a few other people, and they all end up finding the army... I'll say no more. I wont ruin the surprise.

An overall effective Horror effort, 28 Days Later makes you feel despair from the word go, and doesn't let up on you until the end. The washed-out look of it all inspires dread, and the music backs the feeling up quite well. Danny Boyle is a good egg.

There are a few great scares to be had here, and the general unease that the movie achieves should keep you creeped out for the entire run time.

Cillian Murphy's penis and ass. Also, for people who are terrified and desperately trying to sneak around and avoid the Infected at any cost, they talked/yelled really loud.

Cillian Murphy's penis and ass
No, Cillian. No!
Never trust angry monkeys. Also, hippies cause more problems than they solve.

 B+ A good buy, or at least a rent. You wont be wasting time with this one, so give it a shot.

Vanilla Gorilla's Raspberry's (5 being the worst)- 2 Raspberries of 5! He didn't hate this one that much!!!

30 Days of Night (2007)
Sub-Genre- Vampires
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, and The Vanilla Gorilla (Nicknames are used to protect the innocent, bear with us folks.)

As the town of Barrow, Alaska, prepares for it's annual 30 days without sunlight, a group of Yiddish Vampires descend upon the town and proceed to make it's residents their bitches.

It's up to the town sheriff (Josh Hartnett) to keep everyone alive, and he does a pretty crap job of it, mainly because those blood suckers are fast, strong, and really not pleasant at all. They also seem to be hungrier than Rosie O'Donnell at a lesbian brunch mixer most of the time. It doesn't help that the chick who recently dumped him tags along the whole time, because she wont let him use his karate skills to help. Women.

So basically they spend the bulk of the 30 days hiding, which really exposes them for the cowards they are. I mean , cant a bunch of chicks, a teenage kid, a 90 year old man and a burly truck driver kill 20 or so immortal vampires?

In the end, only the sheriff can save them, but does he?

Fuck that, Let's wait 30 days until morning.
A fun, bloody and aggressively violent Vampire film, I don't see how this wont please most fans of the genre. The atmosphere is right, and the cinematography is clean and crisp... I loved this one.

I can see how some people may have issues with the Vampires differing a bit from the traditional Vampire mold, but it's not a huge issue. The end was a bit of a "Huh?" moment as well.

I didn't know that vampires spoke Yiddish.

Vampires always ruin threesomes.

B+ 30 Days of Night is a solid entry to the Vampire genre, and it's one of the better Vampire flicks we've seen in a while. A definite own for us.

Vanilla Gorilla's Raspberry's (5 being the worst)- 1 Raspberry of 5! He almost liked it!!!

Melissa George is in this.