May 5, 2008

Horror Hotties: Rachel Nichols

Going way back to 2008, Rachel Nichols was our very first Horror Hottie. We even put her before Jennifer Connelly, which is borderline blasphemy for us, but it had to be done.

Rachel Nichols, perhaps above all others, deserves every bit of our creepy and unhealthy affection. At the "just right" age of 32 (she was around 28 when we first wrote this post), she's put together an impressive body of work thus far, although the impressiveness of her work pales in comparison to that of her actual body (face included, of course.)

Maybe it's the "come put it in me" look in her eyes that draws us to her so strongly.

That's her "I'm about to slap you in the mouth" look. We're not big fans fo that one.
It all started with her now classic turn as the weed-smoking, whore babysitter in the 2005 remake of The Amityville Horror. Her performance in that movie is the stuff that dreams are made of; dirty, filthy, unattainable dreams. She may have only had a few scant minutes of screen time, but Rachel Nichols wowed critics and fans alike with her riveting performance.

That tongue needs its own movie.
The Amityville remake also provided us with the Horror Hottie showdown of the decade: Rachel Nichols vs. Mmmelissa George! It's mind boggling to think that two of the New Millennium's banginest Horror Hotties could occupy the same celluloid space and not cause some sort of space/time anomaly, but it happened. Mmmelissa George is top notch, but Rachel Nichols wont this round.

I have to believe in my heart that Ryan Reynolds somehow got the two of them into a steamy on-set trailer threesome, because if he didn't, he has failed mankind. I sincerely hope he at least tried like hell.

Good 1970's God in disco heaven!
When she played the bitchy Samantha in Lucky McKee's The Woods a year later, my "admiration" for her "craft" only grew. This time out, she played a sassy and evil schoolgirl, and yes, she spends most of her time in the movie rocking a schoolgirl uniform. Who cares what the damn movie was about (even though it was pretty good) because she plays a naughty schoolgirl!

Too bad that the "got caught smoking/punished in detention by the perverted old pedo-dean" scene was cut from the final print of the movie. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be included on some sort of Special Edition Unrated Director's Cut Blu-ray, and that there's a collectible hand towel included...

Rachel Nichols, in "The Woods." Not to be confused with Evan Rachel Wood. (The hotness factor is fairly similar though.)
Rachel ventured into the realm of Horror one more time, in 2007's P2. The movie focuses on her character being so hot, that some guy locks her in a parking garage and tries to rape/marry/kill her.

This movie totally rips off the script I'm constantly writing in my mind, which coincidentally has the exact same plot. Mine isn't just limited to a parking garage though; sometimes it's a cabin on a lake, sometimes it's in a broom closet at 7-11...once, it was even set in an igloo. Anyways, she's pretty hot in this flick. So yeah, Horror, Horror, Horror, blah, blah, blah... Time for another pic!

Even when shes soiled and distraught, she's still quite pleasant to look at.
She has range too, people; do you think that just any run-of-the-mill actress could handle demanding roles in movies like Sex and the City, and Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, the way that she did? Yeah, so do we, but at least she's in demand.

Star Trek was a waste of Rachel Nichols', talents, as all they did was paint her green and have her play an alien whore for like 10 minutes... could she not have been like a sexy Klingon or something? She had a bigger role in G.I. Joe, but that movie was pretty awful, so, meh. That's no fault of hers though, we blame Stephen Sommers for that mess.

We're just gonna pretend that Alex Cross, and Rachel's participation in Alex Cross, never happened. It's just better that way.

Rachel's new movie: Fingers are a Girls Best Friend.
Sexy and talented, the best part about Rachel Nichols is that she seems like she'd be a cool girl to hang with. She's a pretty DieHard Football Fan, and we can totally picture her wearing nothing but an NFL jersey on a chilly Fall Sunday, drinking beer and screaming at her TV... when someone scores a TD, maybe she rips that jersey off, spins it above her head like a helicopter, and screams "hell yeah!"

It really doesn't get much better than that.

You can currently catch this sultry dish trying to save the future on the Canadian TV show, Continuum, which is being run in the U.S. on Syfy. At least she's got a good run going on that show, because she was cut out of Criminal Minds way too quick.We're still pissed about that, CBS.

Oh, that shirt has words on it? Didn't even read.
It's more than clear that Rachel Nichols has made an impression on the world of Horror (and Film/TV in general), and is also really, really, seriously, smoking hot. We can't wait to see her in the upcoming adaptation of Stephen King's The Ten O'Clock People, where she'll literally be smoking hot, but until then, I guess we'll just have to watch Continuum.