January 4, 2010

Review: The Lovely Bones (2010)

"Not as perfect as I had hoped, The Lovely Bones is a great film none the less..."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0380510/
In Attendance- Me, Karrie, Dave, Michaela and Adrianna.
Cast Members of Note- Saoirse Ronan, Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon and Stanley Tucci. Directed by Peter Jackson.

Susie Salmon is an average 14-year-old girl who likes boys, riding her bike, building bottle ships with Marky Mark, taking pictures, and crawling into makeshift underground clubhouses with skeezy old pervs. Unfortunately, that last little hobby of hers is the reason why she ends up raped and dead. Then again, people still thought the best of people in the 1970's, so it was easy for kids to trust strange, creepy old men back then.

Damn the 1970's, run!
When Susie goes missing, Marky Mark sets out on a personal crusade to find his little girl, because he hates making bottle ships alone. While he frantically searches for clues about her disappearance, she watches from heaven (her own personal version of heaven that is) wishing she could be alive because she really wants to "do" the British kid in her class, who has a million dollar smile. Really. She wants to come back and do it with the kid. Not making that up. Read the book.

Monopoly piece or a clue? Hmm...
As more an more information and clues come to light, Marky Mark finds himself getting dangerously close to the sick bastard who took his little girl from him. Will the killer get away with murder, only to strike again? Will Marky Mark break off an old school freestyle rap for that ass? Will Susie ever find peace in the afterlife? I won't spoil what happens here, but suffice it to say that Susie Salmon was safe the whole time. Heh.

See what I did there?
Peter Jackson is the man. Whether it be Hobbits or Zombies, Homicidal Schoolgirls or Aliens, the guy just knows how to make movies, and make them well. Here, he takes a child-murdering Serial Killer and family melodrama, and weaves them together seamlessly. For the most part. I just really love his vision and storytelling ability, and especially the way he can make an audience empathize with his characters. Like the movie or not, you will definitely feel it.

The most engaging thing about the movie, aside from its characters, was how easily it reminds you that monsters are everywhere in this world, and sometimes right next door. Literally. Walking home from school can lead to your death. So can trusting a stranger. Worse still, it could be someone that you know. And to see the killers calm "every guy" demeanor after knowing in detail what he did (and the horrible nastiness of his acts), is truly chilling.

Intensity.
Saoirse Ronan is just great as Susie Salmon. I've been a fan of hers since Atonement, and she takes a big leap forward here in my opinion. The girl has chops for someone as young as she is, and I can't wait to see what else has to offer as her career progresses. Also of note is the performance of Stanley Tucci, who gets the whole Creepy Pedophile/Serial Killer thing down perfectly. Oscar worthy? You never know.

Now that is classic beauty.
***BOOK SPOILERS AHEAD!*** The movie left out a lot of the details that were present in the book, and some of them were quite sordid, such as: Susie was raped as well as murdered in the book; her elbow is found in a field; the mom has an affair with the Cop assigned to Susie's case; 14-year-old sex happens all over the place; Susie clearly wants to "do it" with Ray in a bad way, and in the final scene, she doesn't just kiss Ray, she flat out bones him.

There's a bunch of other story elements that were changed too, and I get why they did it, but some of it could have made the movie a bit edgier and more intense. Just sayin'.

Instead, we get fucking trees.
Dear young (and old) girls of the world: Never willingly go into a man-made hole in the ground with a creepy older man, even if he calls it a "clubhouse" or "place to hang out." Never, ever. Especially when it's in the middle of a barren cornfield at dusk. Trust me on this one.

He's waiting there for you, in the cornfield at dusk.
This is definitely not a gory movie, and aside from one scene that's literally covered in blood, all we get are a few quick shots of corpses, and a pretty mean looking beating.

That's a nasty little scene.
No nudity. Teen sexuality does rear its head throughout the movie, though very subtly. For those that may feel cheated by the lack of perversion and nudity to be found here, I give you Rachel Weisz naked with a snake. Hey, at least it's something...

Yessssssssssssssssssssssss!
"Be polite."

The world is a sick place. Also, building ships in bottles is a pain in the ass.

It's a globe, idiot. She's not in there!
I toyed with the idea of giving this one an A or A-, but I'll need to go see it again before I can truly decide how I feel. On one hand, Jackson gives us a deep, richly textured, emotionally charged creepfest that will make us look oddly at out neighbors for years to come. On the other, the film failed to delve into the starkly deeper and darker places that the book took us, which left me a bit cold. Nevertheless, The Lovely Bones is an excellent film and should be on your go-and-see list when it hits theaters on January 15th.

B+

The Lovely Bones is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001QOGYAY/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001QOGYAY&linkCode=as2&tag=thehorclu0a-20&linkId=PLXKFLKYKQYKFMYM

Rachel, oh Rachel. Wasn't her name an used for the old German Christmas Song, Rachelweisz?

"Rachelweiß, Rachelweiß,
Du grüßt mich jeden Morgen..."

No? Oh well. Can't win 'em all, I guess. *Also Sorsha Roman (or whatever her name is.)

January 3, 2010

Review: Case 39 (2010)

"Though it's no Orphan, Case 39 actually manages to hold its own in the evil kid category..."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795351/
Cast Members of Note- Renee Zellweger, Bradley Cooper, Jodelle Ferland, Kerry O'Malley, Callum Keith Rennie, and the awesome Ian McShane.

Poor little Lilith; her parents hate her and all she wants to do is be loved. They neglect her, tell her they want to send her to Hell, and they even go so far as to shove her in the oven and try to bake her to death. That poor little thing! She's so cute that I can't imagine... Wait a minute. Her name is Lilith, right? Okay. I get it now.

See you in hell, sweetheart.
Along comes the chick from Jerry Maguire with her puckered face to save the day. She's a Social Worker with a heart of gold, who decides that taking sweet little Lilith in is a great idea, despite all of the screaming hints to the contrary telling her that she shouldn't. Coincidentally, everyone she knows and loves start succumbing to very bizarre and violent deaths. That's odd, huh?

Fire... Kill. It. With. Fire.
When Lilith's true nature is revealed, it's Pucker-faced Foster Mom vs. Hellspawn in a battle of cunning and guile. Who will win? Who will lose? How many people will be afraid to be foster parents after watching this movie? I won't spoil what comes next here, but suffice it to say that Pedicide is sometimes not only necessary, but completely understandable. Also, fire. Kill it with it.

No, no, no. Not a knife. Fire! Haven't you been listening to me?!?
I was totally surprised at how much I liked this movie. Don't get me wrong, I didn't love it to death, and watching prune-faced Renee Zellweger for too long makes me more than moody, but all in all I think they pulled off what they intended with this one. Fairly creepy, pretty interesting, and solidly engaging... that about sums it up. Some of it felt a bit trite, but for the most part it worked. I liked the Demonic Kid angle as opposed to just an insane tyke running around with a knife or something. Dare I say it was refreshing?

Though I'm not a big fan of Zellweger at all, the rest of the cast did a great job. Most notably Bradley Cooper, who is always solid to watch, and little Jodelle Ferland, who did a pretty good job of keeping me unsettled through the whole thing.

I'd be remiss not to mention how awesome Ian McShane is as well. I love that British bad-ass to death, as he just oozes machismo and chews scenery. If you don't agree that he rules, I dare you to tell him that to his face.

He will kick your ass.
I'm sorry, but as much of a bleeding heart as I can be, there's no way I'm taking in some creepy little urchin whose parents stuffed her into a an oven, let alone keeping her when my loved ones start dying mysteriously all around me after I do. That's just too much baggage for me.

Huge baggage.
Fuck the sleeping pills, give me a gun that fires horse tranquilizer-laced darts. That would be far more effective and surefire in my opinion. Then, you get a grenade, maybe some C4, use it, and THEN you set whatever is left on fire... That's how I'd handle things, but then again I always say go big or stay home. Then again, I stay home a lot.

Add caption
Insect attacks, attempted child baking, dog pack violence... there are more violence/disturbing acts in this one that there is gore. Still, it's all pretty effective.

What is she even doing?
No dice, although the ladies might like the fact that we get to see Bradley Cooper sans shirt. Yay?

Being a Foster Parent can be very dangerous. Also, kill it with fire.

...and there she is with that damn knife again!
Case 39 is a fairly solid effort for what it is; a familiar story with a fairly predictable and linear plot line. Still, the little Demon bastard was fairly creepy, and her antics were at times pretty awesome. Old squinty-eyes herself (Zellweger) was cringe-inducing as usual, but she had a pretty good cast around her that made me forgive the fact that she was there. Mostly.

I say check this one out when it hits DVD.

B-

Case 39 is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AEFXLTS/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00AEFXLTS&linkCode=as2&tag=thehorclu0a-20&linkId=TORPLROCABYIMCZ6

Once upon a time, I used to think she was hot...

January 1, 2010

The first 10 Horror Eyes of 2010!

Another month, another 10 Horror Eyes!

Is there a Horror movie out there that doesn't offer at least one close-up of someone's eyes during its runtime? We sure hope not, because we just can't get enough of them. They're windows to the soul, you know.

So once again, let us celebrate the ocular images that add that extra tension and emotion to our favorite films. *We mean that as a generality, as these are not necessarily our favorite films. Then again, they're not necessarily not our favorite films, either. Could go either way.

Enjoy.

*Now that the Holidays are over we can get back to business, and what better to start with than a new installment of 10 Horror Eyes!

Hornet's Nest Eye (Case 39)
That Poor Guy's Eyes (Dread)
Surprised Eyes (Nine Miles Down)
Twisted Eyes (Severance)
Kiddie Eyes (Skjult)
Creepy Masked Killer Eyes (Small Town Folk)
Hot Twin Eyes (Solstice)
Terrified Girl's Eye (Three Faces of Fear)
Mutant Killer Eye (Toolbox Murders)
Awesome Poster Eyes (Whiteout)