December 17, 2014

10 Horror Eyes (The Christmas Edition!)

Christmas is extremely fucking nigh, so let's take a minute to take a look at a few of the Horror Eyes from some of our favorite Christmas-themed Horror flicks of all-time!

The 14 Horror Eyes below represent only 7 different movies, mainly because it's really, really hard to find quality pictures of eyes from most Christmas-themed Horror flicks. The fact that we actually found this many that looked decent enough to post is a Christmas Miracle in and of itself. We tried.

Either way, enjoy them, and have yourself a happy Holiday Season!

10 Christmas Horror movies to darken your Holiday Season!

*Technically it's 12 Christmas Horror movies, because we combined three remakes with their originals, so just consider that a bonus.

It's not easy finding a "good" Horror movie that revolves around Christmas or Santa Claus; oh, they're out there in abundance, but for the most part, they tend to be B-grade junkers that don't really offer much in the way of quality entertainment. 12-24; A Cadaver Christmas; Bloody Christmas; Christmas Nightmare; Deadly Little Christmas; Elves; One Hell of a Christmas; Psycho Santa; Santa Claws; Satan Claus; Silent Night, Zombie Night; The Thirteenth Day of Christmas; Tinsel... See? There's lots to choose from, but most of them end up being about as good as their cheesy titles suggest.

Below you'll find some of the better Christmas-themed offerings that the Horror Genre has given us over the years. Some of them are true Genre classics and some are just silly fun, but they all offer an entertaining glimpse at the darker side of Christmas.

BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974) & (2006)
In 1974, Bob Clark gave the world Black Christmas; one of the first (and best) slasher flicks ever, which would go on to inspire the crazy run of slasher movies that saw release between the late 70's and late 80's. It's a simple, atmospheric story about a creeper named Billy, who hides in the attic of a Sorority House during Christmas Break, and goes about terrorizing and killing off the coeds. The original Black Christmas is not only one of the best slasher flicks ever, but it's also the seminal Christmas Horror movie. If you've never experienced this movie first hand, you owe it to yourself to grab a copy, and enjoy.

*Fun Fact: Bob Clark is also the guy who gave us what might be the most beloved Christmas movie of all-time, A Christmas Story. Not a bad one-two punch,if you ask us.

The 2006 remake of Black Christmas may not be anywhere near as good as the original, but it's still a fun and serviceable effort in its own right. It differs greatly from the original in parts, but it's still basically Billy offing a bunch of coeds at Christmastime, just with more modern polish and a lot more gore. Don't miss out on this one just because a lot of critics panned it; it's a fun movie for what it is, and it's nowhere near the worst remake that came out in the 2000's.

Our review of Black Christmas (1974)
Our review of Black Christmas (2006)

...AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE (1972) & (1989)
If you grew up in the 80's, then you most likely have a fondness in your heart for Tales From the Crypt, and especially for its charismatic host, The Cryptkeeper. In its first season, the show gave us what is probably our favorite of its episodes, ...And All through the House. Directed by Robert Zemekis, the story of a murderous Santa Claus who brings some Christmas payback to a cheating wife who murdered her husband, was a half-hour of creepy fun.

What we didn't know back then, was that ...And All through the House was not only based on a Vault of Horror comic, but it was also a "remake" of a segment from the 1972 film version of Tales From the Crypt. Where the TV version played more like a bit of deviant fun, the film version was a straight-forward, disturbing vignette, that boasted one of the creepiest Killer Santa's ever.

Two versions of the same story, both of these gems are definitely worth checking out during the Holiday Season.

Get the Tales from the Crypt movie here.
Get Season One of the Tales from the Crypt TV Show here.

In 1984, Silent Night, Deadly Night caused a huge controversy with parent groups across the country, which lead to the film being pulled from theaters after only two weeks of release. Apparently the idea of Santa Claus going around killing people was just too horrible of an idea for people to handle in the 80's, which is funny to us, because a movie like that would barely raise an eyebrow these days, let alone cause a mass protest of any kind. Silent Night is a decent slasher flick that must be seen if you're at all interested in Killer Santa flicks. Avoid the sequels though. They aren't very good at all.

The 2012 remake (reboot, whatever) of Silent Night was actually a solid effort that ended up being far better than we thought it would be. It's basically the same thing as the original; a guy in a Santa suit goes around killing people, but the wood chipper scene alone makes it worth seeing.

Our review of Silent Night.
Get Silent Night, Deadly Night here.

Gremlins is a creepy and fun movie for all ages that has that comfy Seasonal vibe about it. Set during Christmastime, Gremlins is the tale of a Dad who gives his son the very rare and precious gift of a Mogwai; an odd, adorable creature that captures everyone's heart... until it multiplies, and its brethren go on a murderous rampage, destroying everyone and everything in their path.

Much like Black Christmas, Gremlins may not be a Killer Santa flick, but it's every bit the Holiday Horror Classic. It's just charming and fun, and for us, it's required Holiday viewing every year around this time.

Get Gremlins here.

Much like the aforementioned Tales From the Crypt, Tales From the Darkside was a Horror Anthology series from the 80's, although it had a decidedly less humorous bent about it. It may play a bit more on the nostalgic side of things now that we're grown, but when we were kids, this shows was absolutely terrifying stuff

The episode in questions here, Seasons of Belief, is the story about a Father (who looks way more like a Grandfather) and Mother who decide tell their bratty children (who don't believe in Santa Claus) an "entertaining" tale on Christmas Eve. The story is that of The Grither; a evil creature that lives near the North Pole that seeks out and kills anyone who says its name aloud. Charming, isn't it?

This little 30-minute episode of Christmas un-cheer is genuinely disturbing, boasting not only the creepiest Christmas song ever (that for some reasons still unsettles us to this day), but a truly vicious and horrific ending, that makes us fear Christmas... and The Grither.

Watch Seasons of Belief here.
Get Tales From the Darkside here.

When a young boy witnesses his Mother being felt-up by Santa (who is really his Father in disguise), he runs upstairs and cuts himself. Thirty-three years later, that little kid is all grown up and is still disturbed by that childhood incident to the point where he believes that he is actually becoming Santa Claus? Part of his self-imposed Santa duties involve him stealing toys and delivering them to hospitals, leaving dirt on the porches of bad children, and murdering anyone who makes it onto his naughty list.
Christmas Evil may be the most bizarre Killer Santa movie that we've seen, which makes it an oddly compelling watch. Its crazy, WTF?!? ending makes it worth seeing alone.

Our review of Christmas Evil. 
Get Christmas Evil here.

One of the absolute best Horror movies of the 2000's, The Children is a terrifying tale of a family's Christmas Holiday gone incredibly wrong, in which their children become infected by some sort of gooey substance, turn into cold-blooded killers, and kill every adult in sight. It's kind of like Children of the Corn only with snow. And British people. And way, way more disturbing violence.
It's not as Christmas-y as are most of the other movies on this list, but it's definitely worthy of a mention (and a watch), as it is one hell of a great Horror flick.

Our review of The Children.
Watch The Children here.

Rare Exports is a very different type of Killer Santa movie that focuses more on Santa's horde of killer elves than it does on he himself.

Rare Exports is a fun and fresh ride, and is definitely a movie that caters towards the younger Horror fans out there; it's not totally a kids movie, but rather is enough of one in tone and content that it's not only safe for them to watch, but they should love the hell out of it when they do. Imagine if the Monster Squad and The Thing had a baby, and it was adopted and raised by The Goonies and Vikaren. That's this movie in a nutshell. The best news is, it's a great watch for adult Horror fans too.

Our review of Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale.
Watch Rare Exports here. 

It's kinda fun to watch former WCW Wrestler Bill Goldberg playing a Santa who runs around killing people in silly, holiday-themed ways. Mostly.

Santa's Slay is nothing but a silly, humorous, goof of a good time.

Watch Santa's Slay here.

December 16, 2014

Blu-ray & DVD: The Digital Dread Report for December 16th

This is essentially the last release day before Christmas. Yes, there is still one more Tuesday to go before December 25th gets here, but there's not really anything being released next week besides a few BBC TV Shows, so, this is basically it.

*There's still time to get anything you need delivered before X-mas, so click the pics below before it's too late!

BDz-infoatlordmazetmntstone170 x 224
For us, the Lord of Illusions Collector's Edition is the Must Have release of the week. Scream Factory is once again bringing us another movie from our formative years and giving it a shiny new transfer, and we couldn't be happier. We like Clive Barker movies. We're simple like that. This is a great flick, and a day one purchase for us.

At the Devil's Door (our review HERE) is a spooky little flick that we liked a lot, despite its flaws. It's hard to go wrong with this one at a price point of $9.99, so we have to say that it's absolutely worth buying, even if you haven't seen it before, but are curious about it. That's basically the price of a rental.

We were expecting Stonehearst Asylum to be more of a Gothic Horror story than the straight-up Mystery/Thriller that it was. Although it wasn't very scary at all, it was still a good movie that we enjoyed, but we're not sure that we'd buy it. Rent it again, absolutely, but we probably don't need to own it. Along with Session 9 and Transsiberian, this is one of Brad Anderson's best films.

Ninja Turtles and The Maze Runner, we'll leave to the kiddies.

TVz-infoex170 x 224170 x 224
We only got two episodes into the first season of Extant before we lost track of it, so there's not a lot that we can say about it, other than what we saw seemed decent enough. Sci-fi fans should be pleased with this show.

This week is definitely more loaded on the DVD front than it is on the Blu-ray front, and there are actually a few titles here that are worth buying (or at least renting.)

We love FX's The Americans, but it perplexes us that it's not being released on Blu-ray at all. That fact alone will prevent us from buying it, even though it's one of our favorite shows. Good job, FX.

The Devil's Hand (our review HERE) is a decent enough movie, but it fell short of being anything worth raving about. At least for us. Even though we won't rave about it, we will say that it's worth a watch, although we'd recommend you wait until it hits Netflix, and watch it for free.

As far as everything else here goes, Don't Look in the Basement is a pretty solid 70's exploitation flick, and Device looks like it could be alright.

We'd also like to see Wax, as it looks like it's pretty creepy.