October 31, 2014

Horror Hotties: The Ladies of Trick 'r Treat (2009)

Anna Paquin, Leslie Bibb, Lauren Lee Smith, Rochelle Aytes, and Moneca Delain; we had to take a minute to celebrate the gorgeous ladies that populated Trick 'r Treat (our review HERE), because they're just too hot not to ogle!

Happy Halloween!

October 30, 2014

VOD Release Dates for November & December!

VOD 550
 
We’ve updated our VOD Release Dates Page for November and December!

Sure, the scariest time of year has come and gone (sob), but that doesn't mean that the exciting genre movie releases stop... there's just not as many of them being released now, that's all. 

As sparse as November and December tend to be for Horror releases, there are still plenty of quality titles making their way to VOD over the next two months that will keep us satisfied until the new year begins. Things will pick back up again in January. They always do.

So check out the small preview of titles below, and be sure to click the above link to be taken to our full VOD Release Dates Page, where you can not only see everything that's coming soon to a VOD platform near you, but also the best titles that are available for streaming right now.

You're welcome.

Coming Soon
nov 7 LIM VODnov 14nov 18nov 21 VOD LIMnov 28 VOD Theatnov 25 VODDecemberdec 2 VODdec 2c VODdec 9 vod
vod foot

31 Days of Creepy Scenes, #2: "The Boy, Jason."


They've given us nightmares, given us chills, made us cringe, made us laugh, made us gag, and made us stare at the screen in awe: these are the scenes that pop into our minds when we think of great Horror Films, and we love them all.

*We recommend that if you've never seen these scenes before, that you experience them for the first time unspoiled in the movies that they come from, if you can. With that in mind, we'll try to be as spoiler-free as possible while discussing them; try, being the key word here.

We can't really talk about great scenes from Horror movies and not include Friday The 13th, at least once. The beloved slasher series has made us jump plenty of times over the years, but to be fair, it was really only the earlier movies that ever truly "scared" us; as the series progressed, the F13th movies became more fun than they were scary.

There are a few F13th scenes that we could choose from that would all be equally creepy or classic; either one of Mrs. Voorhees' beheading, or Jason crashing through the window onto Amy Steele in F13th Part 2, would work just fine, but neither of those can ever top the ending of the first movie.

After surviving the killing spree of Mrs. Voorhees, Final Girl Alice gets into a boat and floats to the middle of Crystal Lake, I guess figuring that nothing can hurt her way out there. Soft, relaxing music begins to play, and Alice gently strokes the water, and all seems to be well... until Baby Jason Corpse strikes!


Throughout all of Horror movie history, there are very few scenes as striking and memorable as this one is. Not only does it provide an totally unexpected shock to end the first movie on, but it also sets up the sequels, which we all know gave birth to one of Horror's all-time iconic bad guys.

34 years later, Friday the 13th is still a seminal Horror movie, and an excellent (and fitting) part of any Horror movie marathon.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AEFY1D8/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00AEFY1D8&linkCode=as2&tag=thehorclu0a-20&linkId=KAPN54GEJUCWY4XP

VOD Review: The Devil's Hand (2014)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2290739/
The Devil's Hand has been finished and sitting on the shelf since sometime in 2012, another example of a studio holding a movie back because they know it's a mess.

LD Entertainment has produced/distributed some great movies over the past few years (The Grey, Killer Joe, Disconnect, The Collector), and some stinkers, the biggest of which was The Haunting of Molly Hartley, which The Devil's Hand feels a lot like.

So why is any of this relevant to us? Well, because now it's pretty clear to us now that when LD Entertainment gets behind Rated-R projects, they turn out far better than do the PG-13 ones.

Movies of different ratings are different beasts, and The Devil's Hand is a great example of why Horror fans cringe when they hear the term PG-13 attached to a movie that they're curious about. A film's rating matters, and especially when a production company trims and cuts their project to fit a particular one.

All of this is to say that LD Entertainment should have let this one go full Rated-R, and it probably would have been a better movie. There's a good movie in there, somewhere below the cuts, edits, and teases, it's just disappointing to us that all we caught were glimpses of what it could have been.

On the 6th day of the 6th month of whatever year, six Amish women give birth to six daughters, thus kicking into motion the prophecy of the Amish Antichrist... whom one of the six girls will become at the stroke of midnight on their 18th birthday. You see, it's all because 6+6+6= 666. We did the math.

DON'T LOOK AT US LIKE THAT, IT'S YOUR MOVIE.
After one of the mothers kills herself and her baby on that fateful night, the other five girls grow up with their whole village eyeing them as if they are The Devil's Hand itself! It's gotta be tough being Amish to begin with, but it's gotta be even worse when all of your Amish friends want you dead. Or shunned. Not that there's a huge difference between the two, really .At least not in Amish circles.

THE GUY ON THE RIGHT IS ALL LIKE "YEAH, I'D SHUN HER. I'D SHUN HER REAL GOOD."
As the girls' 18th birthday draws near, bizarre and terrifying things begin to occur: The Town Elder (Elder Beacon) gives the girls naked examinations to find out exactly "where the Devil hides"; one of the girls, Mary, is having terrifying visions of the other girls being murdered; and oddly enough, the girls begin showing up murdered, one by one, just like it happened in Mary's visions...

THE AMISH MENSTRUAL CYCLE IS NO JOKE.
Is one of the girls The Devil's Hand, or are Amish people just way too paranoid? Will Mary survive to see her 18th birthday, and uncover the mystery behind her visions? Is the answer to "where the Devil hides" in fact :Elder Beacon's pants?" Far be it from us to spoil anything for you here, but suffice it to say that we're pretty sure that the Devil hides in the vagina's of 17-year-old girls... at least that's where Elder Beacon seems to search for him the most, and shouldn't we always trust a God-fearing man of the cloth when it comes to the bodies of our children?

YES, HE HIDES IN YOUR VAGINA. GROW UP ALREADY.
This is a tough one to dissect, because it's a well-made movie, and we enjoyed watching it for the most part, but it's so dull and uneventful, that we're not exactly sure why we kinda liked it to begin with. It's good, but it's really not good at all.

We're really confused by the whole thing, to tell you the truth.

SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN, RONNIE JAMES DIO IS SMILING.
There are many reasons that keep The Devil's Hand from being a good film, and here are the biggest of them:
  1. The movie felt to us like it had been edited, and then re-edited to the point where it lost its focus. With the way it teased some gory and naked moments, was this movie originally a Rated-R Horror flick, cut down to PG-13 levels by some asshole who wanted it to have a wider appeal? Feels like it, and the funny thing is, it's been cut & watered down so much that it has even less appeal than it would have had if it had just went full-on Rated-R to begin with. Funny how that works.
  2. This movie was formerly titled "Where the Devil Hides" which is interesting, because in the movie, there's a scene where Colm Meaney makes a girl get naked, and he starts rubbing her up, telling her that "the Devil hides in our sinful bodies." So either they were originally planning on making the whole creeper thing a bigger part of the story, or they just randomly threw that scene in there "just because." Odd.
  3. They should have gone for it with the gore, and focused more of the story on the Supernatural aspect of things instead of making it play like a teenage romantic melodrama for most of its runtime. Show us the kills, ramp up the tension a few notches, and make it feel like the characters aren't stuck in some sort of general audience-friendly CW show...
  4. ... and if you want to make it into more of a teen romance than a Horror movie, fine, but don't just turn on the Horror elements again with five minutes left to go in the movie, and then speed through them in some weak attempt to make up for the fact that most of the movie was devoid of them. This movie had no idea what it wanted to be.
  5. Speaking of which, you can see everything that happens in this movie coming from a mile away. If you've seen, oh, I don't know, maybe 8 other Horror movies in your entire life, the you'll be able to figure out exactly what's coming next in this one. On a scripting level, it really does feel about as clever as the average CW show, or maybe Pretty Little Liars; which is to say that it's not very clever at all. Safe, familiar, but not clever.
  6. Too many of the characters in this movie are painfully one-dimensional. Jennifer Carpenter plays the disapproving Stepmother who goes through the entire film with a permanent scowl on her face; Colm Meaney plays the Town Elder who is bound and determined to stop Satan at all costs, and all he does is preach about it; and Rufus Sewell plays the kind and loving father of Mary, who just kind of exists to be a plot device. As great as all of the actors in this one are, there's just no depth to their roles, and they end up feeling more like caricatures than characters. 
  7. And why is this movie so dark? Not being able to see whats going on on-screen DOES NOT add to the ambiance or mood of the movie.
WHY IS SHE SO ANGRY?
The Devil's Hand wasn't all bad; it was an often-times gorgeous film to look at; the actors were all solid in their performances (even if their characters were written poorly); and the scary/intense/gory bits were pretty good, when they were actually in the movie, for brief, fleeting moments.

The ending was also pretty good. Predictable, but good. It's really too bad that they didn't focus more on the impending rise of "The Devil's Hand," and let her run amok for the final reel of the film; killing those who tried to stop her in bloody, messy ways. That all happened, but in about 30 seconds, right before the credits rolled.

You know what, I think that we might have just watched an 89 minute-long episode of Goosebumps! Honestly.

SO MUCH WASTED POTENTIAL.
We're giving this one a C-, only because it looked great, was filled with some great acting talent who did what they could with their paltry roles, and the ending gave us a fun glimpse at what this movie could have been. In all reality though, The Devil's Hand is more of a D+, simply because it's so bland and confused.

This movie will be a great watch for a younger crowd, as it should be suitably "scary" to anyone who watches shows like Pretty Little Liars and the like, but for anyone who isn't a 12-year-old girl, this movie will do nothing but make you mad that they wasted a good premise and talented cast in such a bland way.

C-

The Devil's Hand is available now on VOD.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00OCEDSMM/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00OCEDSMM&linkCode=as2&tag=thehorclu0a-20&linkId=KSRNVUF6Z3GQCA4C


So if the movie is called The Devil's Hand, does that make these girls the Devil's concubines? If so, nice choices, Devil.