July 25, 2014

What's new on VOD this week?

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While the luckiest of us are in San Diego this weekend, living it up at Comic-Con 2014, the rest of us suckers are stuck home, doing lame normal life things... but at least we can rent a movie at the end of our lame normallife day if we wanna!

-We're really hyped to see The Damned (formerly Gallows Hill), though we can't say why; it looks like it could be a run-of-the-mill Supernatural movie that offers nothing new in the way of story or scares. Then again, we really liked the trailer, and we're suckers for movies involving creepy kids, so...

Watch the Trailer HERE.
Rent it HERE.

-Come Back to Me is another movie with a trailer that caught our eye. The whole "pregnant chick being messed with by her occultist next door neighbor" thing sounds like it could be fun. Then again this movie uses Found Footage cameras to tell a part of its story, so it could be a disaster. I suppose we'll find out.

Watch the Trailer HERE.
Rent it HERE.

-Cannibal: A Love Story looks like an odd arthouse film, and from what we hear, it's very quiet and slow, and doesn't have much in the way of blood or scares. We may just wait to catch this one when it hits Netflix.

Watch the Trailer HERE.
Rent it HERE.

The Theatrical Trauma of July 25th

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Hercules and Lucy are set to battle it out this week for top spot at the Box Office, and we're pretty sure that Lucy is going to win.

-Scarlett Johansson has had one hell of a 2014 already, with Under the Skin garnering all sorts of critical praise, and the new Captain America flick going over the $700 million mark, so there's no reason to think that people won't flock to see her in an action flick like Lucy.

We'll see it, because Scarlett is one of our favorite Hotties, and we love Luc Besson's action flicks, but will it go over with big with general audiences?

-The Rock was the biggest World Wide Box Office draw in 2013, to the tune of almost $1.3 Billion, and it's easy to see why; adults love him, kids love him, and he's got that movie star charisma that puts asses in seats. Sure, most of that success came from Fast & Furious and G.I. Joe, but the guy has a massive fanbase that always comes out and support his movies.

There's not much advance buzz on Hercules, mainly because the studio didn't give any advance press screenings, and the advertising wasn't all that great or powerful. That usually means that a movie is not so hot.

We hope it's good, because we love Rocky, but it if bombs, we won't be shocked.

-Beneath (our review HERE) is in Limited Release this week, and if you like your movies dark, claustrophobic and eerie, then you'll most likely dig this one.

-Cannibal: A Love Story is also in Limited Release this week, and it will most likely be far more limited than will Beneath. We've heard mixed reviews on this one, and it definitely looks to be more on the artsy side of the fence, but sometimes artsy can be good. Sometimes.

The many faces of Eva Green

Not only is Eva Green one of the most gorgeous women on the planet, but she might also have the most expressive face we've ever seen.

We don't know if she's crazy or just quirky, but the fact is that the girl is always making some crazy (and quirky) faces that make us laugh and ask ourselves "is she high in that picture?"

We decided to take a few minutes and put together a little collection of her greatest facials facial expressions, not only because we find it amusing, but because we want these images to stick in your head like they do ours.

You deserve that much. We all do.

*You can catch Eva Green right now in 300: Rise of an Empire and Penny Dreadful, or in Sin City: A Dame to Kill For come August.

July 24, 2014

VOD Review: Beneath (2014)

I give Miners a hell of a lot of credit. Those brave bastards go willingly into the depths of the Earth, every day, and face possible death every time that they do, all in the name of preserving our way of life.

Miners deserve the same praise that we laud onto those that serve in the Military, the Police Force, Fire & Rescue Services, or the Medical Field. Without Miners, we'd have less power. We'd have no salt. We'd have no minerals and ores that are used to make most of the important things that we use in our everyday lives.

Without minerals and metals, we'd be a primitive culture once again.

If it can't be grown, it has to be mined.

In this modern world, that is a terrifying thought indeed.

Even more terrifying still, is the thought of a group of Miners not only caught in a cave-in (leaving them trapped and helpless), but being stalked and killed by an unseen force while they wait for rescue. With nowhere to run.

Beneath is a movie about a bunch of Miners that get trapped underground after a cave-in, and how they all end up going bat-shit crazy as a result. Or maybe it's about a bunch of Miners that get trapped underground after a cave-in, and are set upon by a Supernatural Force that has laid dormant for years, just waiting for someone or something to feed on. Either way, a bunch of Miners are trapped, and it's pretty damn terrifying.

"Oh shit, did I leave my curling iron plugged in?"
To add to the despair of being trapped with nothing to do but wait for rescue, someone or something is killing the Miners off, one at a time. It's probably the hot chick's fault, because anyone knows that bringing a chick into the mines is bad luck or something. Don't ask us, we're not the ones with the crazy superstitions.

So that would make these spirits/creatures misogynists then?
Will rescue arrive in time? Are the Spectres of the mine real, or are they merely figments of the imagination? Did someone forget to adequately fill & protect the air tanks? Far be it from us to spoil anything for you here, but suffice it to say that there's never enough air in these situations, is there?

Beneath is an effective Thriller that does a great job at conveying a hopeless sense of claustrophobia, while at the same time jolting the audience with an unseen menace that is killing people off. Director Ben Ketai and his writers have given us a movie that mixes physical and psychological terror fairly well, as the movie serves as one hell of an intense experience.

If closed spaces give you the jitters, then this movie will have you in fits.

I would not go in there. I would sit and wait for help. Like a coward.
The movie is not without issue though. It's a bit too ambiguous for our tastes, it felt formulaic at times, and the characters aren't especially deep or all that fleshed out either. Beneath is all about the situational Horror of being trapped underground anyhow, so the smaller issues didn't really kill the overall experience for us. They got the atmosphere perfect in this one, and that was really the main thing that they needed to get right for the movie to work.

The cast all did a fine job here too, but it was really nice to see Jeff Fahey back in a solid flick for a change. He's always been a great actor, but after the 90's he was basically relegated to a b-movie career, which never made sense to us. Here, he gives a solid performance as a Dad trying to keep his daughter safe from... whatever it is that is hunting he and his crew of miners. Nice job, Jeff.

Jeff Fahey still does the best Jeff Fahey face.
This movie falters a bit as far as its identity goes; is it a Thriller about a mining disaster, or a Horror movie about an unseen menace killing people off?

If it's a Horror movie, then the whole cave-in serves only as a plot device to get people to the dying grounds, which is a disservice to the storytelling potential of a mining disaster. If it's a Thriller about a mining disaster, then it loses a lot of its storytelling potential by adding a bunch of unnecessary stalk-and-slash elements to the proceedings.

Beneath is obviously an amalgamation of both of those things, and it was a good movie, we just wish it had been a bit more decisive on exactly what kind of movie it wanted to be.

We'd tell you to run, but you can't.
So was it ghosts, or did everyone just go crazy and start killing each other? Maybe it was just Samantha losing her mind and killing everybody else? We need answers!

Did the iPhone have something to do with it?
Lots of pick-axe violence, rock violence, and even a guy peeling off his own skin and eating it.

There's also the old "finger in the leg" scene.

Just think about how great a topless bouncy-house scene would have been...
Chicks do not belong in mines. Also, neither do men, really. It's just too dangerous and scary for anyone down there.

This is not going to end well.
If the idea of being trapped miles underground while something chases you around in the dark, hell bent on killing you, then Beneath should be right up your alley. It's a solid Horror/Thriller with a good cast, a genuinely creepy atmosphere, and some good gore gags... For $7.99, it's definitely a worthwhile VOD rental.


Beneath is available on VOD, and in Limited Theatrical Release, now.


Kelly Noonan is in this.

July 23, 2014

Theatrical Release Dates for August-September!

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*Click the banner above (or HERE) to see our full Theatrical Release Dates List.

We've updated our Theatrical Release Dates List through October, which has us finally facing the fact that Fall will be here before we know it; for the record, we're not quite ready for cold weather yet, so, mixed feelings.

Pending weather aside, September and October are look as if they're going to be great months for moviegoing, which will at least help keep us warm in spirit while we do our best to fight against the cold.

You can take a peek at some of the most anticipated flicks of the Fall below, or just head on over to the full list via the links above.

*Keep in mind that Release Dates constantly shift and change, so this type of list will always be a work in progress.

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