VOD Review: The Hounds of Love (2017)

"A perfect movie for date night."

Australia has a knack for producing disturbing Horror movies. Wolf Creek, The Loved Ones and Acolytes (to name a few) are all great examples of that gritty, nasty, unsettling down under filmmaking that have stuck with us years after having seen them.

Hounds of Love can comfortably join that group of films as a movie that tackles a horrific subject in such a real and gritty way, that even though it's light on the more visceral aspect of Horror Cinema, it strikes all the right unsettling chords in telling its twisted story.

Knowing that it's based on a true story, loosely or not, made it feel extra nasty.

In 1980's era Perth, Australia, John and Evelyn watch a group of young schoolgirls playing netball in slow-motion, after which they give one of the girls a lift, and she's never seen again. They're a serial-killing couple who enjoys stalking young girls, and taking them home to "play with", and eventually kill.

CREEPERS, 80's STYLE.

Vicki is a young girl who is dealing with separated parents who plan on divorcing, as well as the everyday stresses of teenage life. When she sneaks out of her window to go to a party, she runs across John and Evelyn, who offer her some weed. Back at their house. Since she really likes weed, she agrees to go back to their house and score before meeting her boyfriend at the party... which she's never going to show up for.

THIS IS WHY YOU JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Chained to a bed in a dingy room, Vicki is subjected to sexual assault and all means of degrading things at the hands of John, while Evelyn enables his depravity, and washes off the bloody dildos. While Vicki does her best to survive her ordeal and find a way out, her loved ones are madly searching for her, which seems hopeless.

True horror ensues. 

WHY IS SHE LAYING ON THE WALL?

Like most movies that involve sadistic people doing horrific things to young girls, Hounds of Love is genuinely disturbing to behold. Based on the story of real-life story of David and Catherine Birnie (read about it HERE), everything here feels real, in a very dirty, uncomfortable sort of way.

Unlike most of those kinds of movies however, Hounds of Love takes a more restrained approach. Ben Young could have easily gone the exploitative route with this one, but he instead opts for the less-is-more method when it comes to visualizing the film's nastier elements, which honestly made it play far more grimy and sinister.

While Stephen Curry plays creepy extremely well here, it's Emma Booth who turns in turns in the truly brilliant performance here as the browbeaten wife of a sadistic monster who helps him torture and rape young girls, but who also struggles with the knowledge that what they're doing is wrong. To watch her play both sides of that fence at the same time was something special. Ashleigh Cummings was no less fantastic in a difficult role which saw her victimized in horrific ways, while never losing her will to live and be free.

"WHO'S A HANDSOME BLOKE?"

Torture, bloody sheets, and violence abound, but not much in the way of gory set pieces.

DON'T WANT ANY WEED NOW, DO YOU?

Emma Booth gets naked, and there's plenty of rape and sexual degeneracy, but most of it is portrayed in a non-exploitative way off-screen. And we're more than fine with that.

NOT SEXY AT ALL.

For true Horror lovers, Hounds of Love is a Must See. It's a tough watch, and one that a great many people will not be able to make it through, but in a genre that tends to aim for the lowest common denominator with many of its offerings, it's a hypnotic, horrific, multi-layered piece of art.

And it's also the stuff of nightmares. Real ones.

A

Hounds of Love is available on VOD now.

Emma Booth and Ashleigh Cummings: the gorgeous stars of this ugly little movie.

Import Review: Ibiza Undead (2017)

"Ibiza Unfunny."

For those of us who love raunchy teen comedies like The Inbetweeners, and who adore zombie films, a movie like Ibiza Undead sounds like a brilliant idea; you get some dorky guys, some smoking hot girls, send them on vacation to a gorgeous paradise, and have them fight for their lives against hordes of undead whist cracking off filthy jokes and one-liners, and trying to get laid at every turn.

Well, the idea sounds great, and they really tried with this one, but Ibiza Undead doesn't really make it to good side of the the funny-meets-bloody fence.

Emily Atack is in it though, so that makes it watchable enough. For the most part.

In the midst of a worldwide zombie epidemic, a group of British teens decide to head to Ibiza to party, because no matter how bad things get in the world, kids will always need to get messed up and have as much sex as possible. And honestly, why not do it in Ibiza if you're going to do it?

AH, PARTY GIRLS.

Big Jim, Alex, and Az are three lovable losers who just want to meet some girls. Or, as Big Jim puts it (about 300 times throughout the movie), shag some sluts and bitches. Alex's older sister and her hot friend, as well as Alex's hot ex-girlfriend are along for the ride, so the stage is set... but they want to meet some guys who aren't gimps, so the it's not long before the fish out of water sexual hilarity ensues!

THAT BIKINI THO...

And of course it's also not long before the zombie apocalypse of Ibiza ensues, which makes the whole "let's get laid, bruv" aspect of the trip a moot point... or maybe it makes it that much more important? It's one of those. Whichever one it is, the partiers must band together if they're ever going to escape Ibiza alive.

TONE IT DOWN, CONCHITA!

Ibiza Undead is a decent enough zombie flick that boasts a gorgeous location, some great bloody visuals, and some sexy ladies behaving badly, but doesn't really meld the world of comedy and horror together all that well.

And that's the main problem with this movie: it's supposed to be a comedy, and it isn't all that funny. Maybe that stems from the fact that the characters, and the funny bits that they try to drop on us, were written in the shallow end of the quality pool. The worst had to be Big Jim, who was so over-the-top and unfunny, that we honestly wondered how it all went wrong. Stiffer was funny in American Pie, as was Jay in The Inbetweeners (which this movie is clearly modeled after), but the attempt to recreate that same kind of vulgar-yet-lovable character here came nowhere close to that level of good.

Emily Atack was surprisingly good in this one though. Where we just expected her to be a vapid tart with no depth, her character was actually given a bit of substance, and she milked it for all it was worth. Vagina Lipkiss Algina Lipskis did a nice job in her supporting role as well. Everyone else, meh.

WHERE'S SCOOBY?

There are actually some good gore gags throughout this one.

THE FIRST GAY ZOMBIE EVER? YOU DECIDE.

Lots of hot chicks in bikinis, and Emily Atack shares a snog with Algina Lipskis, but for a raunchy sex comedy, this one is very light on the visceral raunch.

SO MUCH POTENTIAL...

Ibiza Undead is a fun enough flick, but it just doesn't offer enough bloody bits to please Horror fans, and it's not very funny at all, even if a few jokes do land here and there.

Overall, this is a movie that you might want to check out when it hits Netflix and the like, and save your DVD $$$ for a rainy day. Or a better movie.

C-

Ibiza Undead is available on Import DVD now. *Region-Free player required.

Apparently, Ibiza is the place to go to find lovely ladies.

Horror Hottie: Emily Atack

We've loved this perky blonde Brit since she played Charlotte on the hilarious UK TV show, The Inbetweeners (if you haven't seen it, seek it out and enjoy), but unbeknownst to us, Emily Atack has also starred in a few genre flicks as well, namely The Hoarder and Ibiza Undead.

Sexy, perky, and actually a good actress, she kind of reminds us of what a woodland fairy would look like if woodland fairies were slutty chavs who like to party. That's just how our minds work.

Hopefully, she'll do some more Horror flicks in the future.

You're welcome.