Hannibal Season 2 Episode 4, Takiawase, gave us all sorts of feels!

Having just finished watching Takiawase, the 4th episode in Hannibal's thus-far fantastic 2nd Season, we find ourselves emotionally drained; the episode was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, you see.

First, it gave us some melancholy nostalgia feels, then it made us terrified of bees, then it made us sad, then we wanted to punch Dr. Chilton in his mouth (per usual), then we found ourselves terrified of acupuncture, then we had a Batman flashback, then we were all like "Ok, now just get out of there!," and then there was that ending...

I know that's a lot of "then's", but this is one of those shows that slaps you around like that. Repeatedly. Then, it hugs you. It basically messes with your mind on purpose.

We're trying to be as vague as possible here, because spoiling this show, and how it unfolds, would make us even bigger assholes than we normally are. We truly don't need any help being bigger assholes. Trust us.

As far as the last scene of the episode goes though, we will say this: it reminded us a lot of specific scenes from both Zodiac and Silence of the Lambs, and it had us completely tensed-up and butt-puckered for a solid three minutes... and then the credits rolled... and left us hanging.

That ending was Hannibal's Carcosa scene, as far as tension goes.

What we loved:
That opening fishing scene.
Bees!
"Only by going deep beneath the skin, will you understand the nature of this killer's pathology."
Those sodium amytol-induced "truths."
Jack blazing that Purple Kush. 
Honey Bunny!
That lobotomy.
That living-zombie.
"Stay away from Hannibal Lecter!"
That Harvey Dent coin flip. 
That entire last three minutes...

What we didn't:
That entire last three minutes... Because why would you cliffhanger us like that, Bryan Fuller!? *We know why, but come on, man... we need answers!

I guess we'll just have to suffer until next week when we get our answers, even though we can already pretty much guess what the outcome of that last scene will be. Now we're sad again.

See? This show just emotionally bitch-slapped us again, and it's been over for like three hours now!

Blu-ray Review: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Shout! Factory
Price: Currently $19.99 on Amazon (click pic above to order)
Discs:
1 50 GB Blu-ray disc
Video:
1080p
MPEG-4 AVC
1:78:1/AR
Audio:
English: DTS-HD Master Audio Mono
Subtitles:
English
Region A

The Slumber Party Massacre is one of those movies that we love despite it being not that great. We love it because it was one of the first Slasher flicks that we remember seeing when we were wee lads and lasses back in the 80's; any movie featuring gratuitous nudity and a creepy guy running around killing people with a drill, made for some very compelling stuff for us back then.

Russ Thorn is about to add to his tally!

What we remember most about SPM, is how absolutely terrifying its killer, Russ Thorn, was to us when we first saw him. Back then, when we were so young and impressionable that Russ Thorn's creepy face and intense eyes made us crap our figurative pants. He wore no mask, and he didn't stay hidden the shadows the whole time like most killers in Slasher flicks do; no, he was right there from the get go, in our faces with his "normal guy" creepiness, creeping us the hell out like a creep!

We also remember a bunch of hot chicks running around all half-naked, and showering for like 20 minutes at the beginning of the movie. Like I said, compelling stuff for us during our formative years.

Creepiest scene in the movie.

As far as plot goes, SPM centers around a group of High School kids who are massacred via drill by escaped lunatic, Russ Thorn. Written by feminist Rita Mae Brown as a parody of the Slasher genre, SPM, like most Slashers, works well on a "blood & boobs" level, while at the same time being its own punchline. Yes, it's very tongue-in-cheek if you look closely enough, and that just kills us now, because it creeped us out so badly way back when. 

This scene actually plays out dark and humorous for us now. Who knew?

Not only was SPM written by a woman, but it was also directed by a woman, which makes it doubly interesting that the movie was so gratuitous with its nudity (at least at the beginning.) In the commentary track, director Amy Holden Jones even makes mention of how Roger Corman required a certain amount of nudity in the opening half of the flick, which certainly explains the long, lingering shots of naked, soapy bodies (especially asses) in the shower scene. She didn't seem happy about it. If I'm remembering it right, her quote was something to the effect of "Here's your nudity, all up front, now let's be done with it." Interesting stuff.

This is not a particularly gory movie, despite being about a massacre carried out with a drill, though it's not completely devoid of bloody good moments. As slow as some of the movie plays, it would have been nice to have had some bigger, bloodier payoffs with the gore gags though.

That was a bloody good moment.

With this release, Scream Factory made this old, cheap Horror flick look about as pretty as it's ever going to look. Most of it is fairly crisp, though you can see some scrapes and scratches on some of the frames here and there. We noticed a few instances of crush, and a mild application of DNR here and there, but for the most part, this one was very pleasing to our eyes.

These guys are looking 80's awesome. Rad, even.

It's in DTS, but it's also Mono-only, so this disc's audio performs nicely, while not being all that dynamic. For an older movie like this, we're not looking for a THX quality sound mix though, so it's all good by us.

"OMG they do have Prince Albert in a can!"

The Sleepless Nights Doc was a fun watch, and the commentary was enlightening, but overall, the Special Features on this disc are a bit light. Being that this release was not given the Collector's Edition treatment, it's understandable. The trailers for all three of the Slumber Party Massacre flicks were neat too.

• New HD Transfer From The Original Camera Negative.
• Sleepless Nights: The Making Of The Slumber Party Massacre.
• Interview with Rigg Kennedy.
• Audio Commentary With Director Amy Holden Jones, Actors Michael Villela And Debra De Liso.
• The Slumber Party Massacre Trailer.The Slumber Party Massacre II Trailer.
• The Slumber Party Massacre III Trailer.
• Still Gallery.

Easter Egg?

Overall, The Slumber Party Massacre is a fun bit of nostalgia that will thrill older Horror fans, and most likely amuse newer ones, at least on a base level. It's a great looking transfer, it sounds good enough, and what extras there are, are fun to see and listen to.

For Horror collectors, it's a must have. For the average Horror fan, it's well worth a look, but keep in mind that as 80's Slasher flicks go, SPM was never very high on the quality scale.

C+

Slumber Party Massacre is full of lovely ladies that were some of our very first crushes back in the 80's. Most famous of them all, is Brinke Stevens; she's one of the most prolific Scream Queens of all-time, and this movie was her first project... she said so in the Special Features!

Speaking of the Special Features on this disc... we were sad to learn that Robin Stille, who played the lead role of Valerie in SPM, committed suicide in the mid-90's. She was great in this movie, and it's a shame that her life ended so soon, and in such a tragic way. We hope she's resting well.

The Digital Dread Report for March 18th

This week we finally get some solid new releases to sink our teeth into, and as sparse as the "Must Own" Blu-ray & DVD landscape has been so far this year, it's a truly wonderful thing!

Scream Factory's Blu-ray release of the classic Slasher flick, The Slumber Party Massacre (1982), tops our "Must Own" list this week. It may not be a Deluxe Collector's Edition like so many of their BD titles are, but it's a great flick that is sure to benefit from a new High Def transfer, and the extras are bound to be fun. We can't wait to watch and review this one.

Here Comes the Devil (Our Review HERE) is one that we'd like to own at the right price point. It was a solid flick, even if it ended on a somewhat odd and vague note. Bottom line is that it's definitely worth a rent/buy.

Swerve and Outpost: Rise of the Spetsnaz look interesting; the two new Redemption releases, Frightmare and The Flesh and Blood Show, should give us a good Retro fix; and Barricade looks decent, although it's got the guy from Will & Grace in it, so it could go either way.

We didn't like Contracted all that much (Our Review HERE.) We seem to be in the vast minority on that one, so we have to imagine that its DVD release will most likely be a worthwhile watch for most Horror fans.

Everything else on this week's list, is a crap shoot, per usual.

So whatever strikes your fancy, be sure to click below and order through us, because the 10 cents that we'd make from each of your purchases is definitely going to buy us a new house or two... and we need at least two new houses. At least.

Blu-ray Review: In Fear (2014)

There's no writing credit for this movie on IMDB, and for good reason: this film esentially has no script. The movie was shot chronologically, and the actors were given bits of the plot as they went along, with everything else left for them to improv.

Had we known that before we saw In Fear, we may have ended up liking it a bit more than we did.

The actors pulled off the whole Improv thing really, really well, but at the same time, that very same improv aspect made the film come off as directionless, and it made us feel as if we were watching a story that was spinning its narrative wheels for 90 minutes in a futile effort to go somewhere, which it never really did.

Instead of being terrifying, as the title suggests, In Fear is more an exercise in tedious, repetitive frustration.

Tom and Lucy are a new couple who are on their way to a musical festival in rural Ireland. As a surprise, Tom has booked them a room at the secluded Kilairney House Hotel, so that they can do new couple stuff together (wink, wink), and maybe order room service after. Sounds like a nice little trip, eh?

After stopping off at a pub (where Lucy is spied on in the bathroom, and Tom spills someone's drink), a guy in a jeep shows up and leads Tom and Lucy into the country, to show them where this "secluded" Hotel is. When they arrive at a crossroads, the guy in the jeep ushers them to go forward, and he turns and drives off another way at a high rate of speed. Odd, but alright, maybe that's how they are in rural Ireland.

She knows what he's up to with his little "Lovely Hotel" stunt!

They head in the direction in which they've been ushered, and encounter a fence blocking their way, which is also locked with a heavy chain. Now, I'm not sure what kind of legit Hotel blocks off the roads that will allow you to actually arrive there, but again, maybe that's a normal thing in Ireland? So Tom breaks through the barrier, and he and Lucy head down the dirt road, ready to spend a night at the lovely Kilairney House Hotel...

...and instead spend the rest of the movie driving around, trying to find it.

No, that sign is incorrect.

There's more to the plot (which we won't touch on here, so as not to spoil things), but it's basically Tom and Lucy driving around in circles in a creepy backroad maze, following a bunch of signs which point the way to the Hotel, but serve only to lead them astray.

Does the Kilairney House Hotel even exist? Is there some sick, twisted game afoot on these deserted backroads? Will Tom and Lucy ever make it to their music festival?  Far be it from us to spoil things here, but suffice it to say that the only place that any of the characters end up making it is into the grips of fear and madness! Or something.

There will be no happy ending here.

The problem with In Fear, at least for us, is that nothing about the movie rang true. The characters made nothing but stupid decisions, and they showed such an utter lack of common sense, that we were just about completely taken out of the movie by their actions.

Why would they not just say "This all seems really creepy and odd, let's get the hell out of here?" I mean, there's not one thing about this whole "Hotel" idea that seems normal or on the level, from the mysterious guy who tells Tom "I'll come and show you where it is," to the locked gate, to the fact that it's so isolated and they can't find it with any sort of ease.

Seriously, just drive home!

As odd and as creepy as things get, it really perplexed us as to why neither of them said "Screw this, let's turn around." As a guy who has just started seeing a girl who seems to be all kinds of sweet and cool, I'd go out of my way to remove her from any sort of situation that seemed wrong, odd, or potentially unsafe. Obviously then, the movie doesn't exist if I'm driving the car, but all of that is just to say that as a movie, they way that the plot unfolds just felt wrong to us.

Why would they continue to drive around aimlessly, following signs which are obviously not getting them anywhere but lost? Why are they stopping to help a stranger in the night, only minutes after a masked stranger tried to drag Lucy into the forest? And how is it that for the entire movie, Tom and Lucy are lost and unable to find a way out of the maze they are in, yet at the end of the film, the road that leads out is suddenly accessed with seemingly no effort at all?

As lovely as good improv is to watch, reasons like this are exactly why having a solid script in place is a very important thing for a film. Had there been a script in place here, we think that In Fear would have worked much better. Then again, maybe it wouldn't have.

"This Hotel doesn't even exist, does it?"

I'll give the film this: as a piece of improv work, it's pretty remarkable. I may have thought that the story was weak, and that it's characters were annoying, but I had no clue that this movie was being improvised by its cast. That's a seriously impressive feat.

It's also a pretty film to look at. It's not only competently shot, but its Irish Countryside backdrop is a gorgeous thing to behold, even though we get to see it mostly at night.

High concept art and experimental filmmaking are great, but not at the expense of believability. In Fear should have had us on the edge of our seat, gripped by the same fear that the characters were experiencing. We should have been tense with panic, gripped with fear, and anxious for our protagonists to escape their situation with their lives, but it never really hit us that way. Instead, we spent the entire film questioning everything that the characters were doing, and shaking our heads while they were doing it, instead of being sucked into their story.

In the end, In Fear inspires far more frustration than it does any sort of titular fear. 

We do get some beautiful locations though.

As an exercise in how to do Improv the right way, In Fear is all aces. For the actors of this film to essentially improvise everything that they said and did, and make it seem as if they were following a script, was no mean feat. As a Horror movie though, In Fear is mediocre at best, suffering from its directionless improvisation, and giving us a repetitive experience that felt as if it never really went anywhere.

We're sure that lots of people will dig this movie -it's got itself a solid 87% fresh over on Rotten Tomatoes- but for us, it just didn't work.

In Fear is available on Blu-ray/DVD and on VOD now.

C-

Alice Englert did herself proud with her work in In Fear, and we salute her.

VOD Review: Haunt (2014)

"Not to be confused with Haunter."

(aka Not Haunter)
Release Date: March 7, 2014.
Country: USA
Written by: Andrew Barrer.
Directed by: Mac Carter.
Starring: Liana Liberato, Harrison Gilbertson, Jacki Weaver, Danielle Chuchran, and Ione Skye.

When it comes to Horror movies that feature teens in peril, most of them end up falling flat. That's mainly because such movies tend to treat their teen characters like they're lovelorn morons who are all but devoid of any sort of depth or real personality.

We're not talking about the "dumb teens who party too much and get what's coming to them," because those are the kinds of teen characters that usually populate Slasher flicks or Torture Porn, and they don't really need personality. They exist only to up the body count.

We're talking about the "normal" kids next door, who are always somehow crazy attractive, and exist only to be in love, or to sass their parents, or to mope around whining about how no one understands them. Those are the kinds of teen characters that should be more fleshed out, because they're meant to be more than just numbers to add to a kill count... at least in theory.

The cool thing about Haunt, is that for all of its faults, it actually manages to give us a pretty effective Haunted House flick that features teen characters that actually feel real, and end up being likable. Sure, there's still a teen love story going on here, and yes, we have to suffer through a bit of shy moping now and then, but that's alright; because real kids do those sorts of things. At least with Haunt, we get likable, smart characters doing some cliche' things, because that's just how normal people behave.

Haunt begins with a creepy prologue about the cursed Morello House, where all but one member of a family died under mysterious circumstances. The lone Morello survivor is the Mother, and she narrates the house's fateful history, and lets us know that there are ghosts and such most likely roaming around the place.

So it goes without saying that when the Asher Family moves into the old Morello house, things begin to get creepy. Shy son Evan Asher meets Sam, his cutie pie next-door neighbor, and they become fast friends; two damaged souls drawn together by... blah. Point is, that not only do they team up to uncover the mystery of what went on in the creepy house, but they somehow manage to fall in love along the way. Awww.

They are so in love.

Somehow Sam knows that there's a ghost radio in Evan's crawlspace, and she convinces him to try it out with her, so that they can "find heaven" or some such crap. They obviously don't find heaven, instead they unleash a vengeful spirit into the world.. or maybe the spirit was already there, but couldn't be proactive until someone used the ghost radio... we can't say for sure.

"Does this thing get Sirius?"

Either way, the house is full of ghosts, one of which is out for blood, the rest of which just kinda hang around and look creepy. What really went on in the Morello house? Is the Asher Family doomed to suffer the same grisly fate? What's with that ghost radio? Why do we just not trust Sam? We don't know anything about any of that, but we can say that by the time the movie ends, neither will you.

What does this even mean?

Two things keep Haunt from being a disappointing effort: its atmosphere, and the performances of its cast. 

The scares found in Haunt will definitely affect the younger folks in the audience, but we older Horror fans have seen too much to fall for a bunch of jump scares and music cues. Lucky for us, the movie does a pretty solid job of establishing a creepy and tension-filled atmosphere, which was every bit as effective (and even more so) as were its scares.

As far as the cast goes, Liana Liberato is the star here. Sure, mopey and broody Evan is the "main" character for all intents and purposes, but its not until he meets cute little Sam that the movie really gets interesting. Liana can act, she's likable, and the kid delivers here. Harrison Gilbertson (Evan) was equally as likable, and he made a good pair with Liberato.

The real treat of the movie though, was Jacki Weaver. She's devilishly creepy in this one, which may surprise fans of her Oscar Nominated performance in Silver Linings Playbook. She's no stranger to genre work though, her pedigree reaching as far back as 1975's Picnic at Hanging Rock. She was a treat in Haunt, and she definitely classed the movie up a bit. It was also nice to see Ione Skye on screen again (seems like it's been a while), even if her part was a relatively smaller one.

Haunt is not the most original movie, and in fact, it's about as run-of-the-mill as it gets as far a Haunted House flicks go, but it does manage to do some pretty engaging things within its limited trappings. We'll take overly-familiar as long as a movie is enjoyable, and for the most part, Haunt was.

Looks trustworthy to us.

***BEWARE ENDING SPOILERS***

The whole backstory element was really confusing.

So did the old woman kill her kids, or did she just off the woman that her husband was sleeping with? I have to assume that the mistress died first, then her angry ghost killed the woman's kids as revenge, but if that's the case, why would the dad cover his sons mouth and say "Don't make a sound! Don't even move!" as if he were afraid that the Mother would kill him too?

And why would they bring a dead body through their sons room while he's in bed sleeping, and take it into his crawlspace to bury it? Why not wait until no one was home?

All of this leads us to the big question: Where did the box come from? Even better, how did the Morello parents know what it was, and how to use it?

But why?!?

Jump-scares. Jarring music cues. Quick-cut & stuttered movement. Why have do Horror filmmakers still insist on using these lame gimmicks, as if they haven't been tired and ineffective for years now?

Yes, people are conditioned to become alarmed when they suddenly hear a loud noise, or when someone jumps out at them, but when you're going for mood, "loud and sudden" just does not fit. Nuance. That's all we want. We know it's not really that simple to achieve, but execute your big "scary" moments with a bit more style or something. Maybe there's no clear cut answer to the jump-scare issue, but man do they ever take us right out of a scene when done poorly.

As for the whole stuttered/broken movement thing goes though, can we please give that a rest? It was effective for a while in the early 2000's when Asian Horror became so popular, because seeing dead people/ghosts shake, shimmer, and move in quick-cut jumps was new and kind of startling. It was fun.

Years later, it's not really fun anymore. It's like jumping out at the same person, from exactly the same hiding place, every single day; at first, you got them. After a while, you still get them, but it's just not as effective, because you've gotten them before. After a while it becomes ineffective, because they know you're going to be there, and they're expecting you.

We're done ranting now, because we know that none of this will ever stop. It's just all so frustrating!

Don't look at us that way. We're picky.

Haunt has some bloodshed in it, but save for one death scene, most of it is pretty tame. There's lots of creepy imagery throughout though, so it's at least a bit bloody.

We are NOT going to make a "Hammertime" joke here. Not gonna do it.

Nope.

Never open the "spirit box" and play with it. Not ever!

Not ever!

Haunt is a decent little Haunted House flick that is big on atmosphere and character, while being a bit confusing in its mechanics, and feeling a bit rushed towards the end.

It's definitely worth a rental on VOD, just go into it knowing that it's a fairly by-the-numbers endeavour, and you'll be fine.

C+

Haunt is available now DVD and VOD.

Seems like just yesterday that we were watching Liana Liberato for the first time when she appeared on Sons of Anarchy, and now, she's all grown up. She's as beautiful as she is talented, and we expect nothing but big things from her career from this point out.