31 Days of Millennium Hotties- Mmmelissa George!

If you don't like awesome boobs, pouty pillow-lips, hot Australian accents, chicks that like to kiss other chicks, awesome boobs, or Horror flicks, then you wont like Mmmelissa George! (For the record, I like all of those things except for the lesbian bit... that's just too chauvinistic and exploitative towards women.)  

Mmmelissa George started her Horror Hottie career as a slutty mom in the remake of The Amityville Horror, which also starred fellow Horror Hottie Rachel Nichols.  Both of their performances tugged at our loin-strings, though in the end, Mmmelissa wins because she had a sex scene. I still say that they should duke it out in a pool full of lime Jell-O to decide who's hottest though, because that would be fun on so many different levels.

The babysitter is barely through the door and Mmmelissa is already trying to get her naked.

Turistas was her next film, where she played a bikini-wearing slut who drank too much and hooked up with random tourists. This is where she took her career to a new level, donning next to nothing to broaden her scope as an actress. We give kudos to her brave career choices, especially those which involve little-to-no clothing.

They should totally have a threesome before they jump.

In Waz, she played a cop whose ass looked really, really good in a pair of jeans. Sadly, she showed far less skin in this one than in previous efforts, and it was the beginning of a trend for Mmmelissa, as her next film saw her wearing a snowsuit for most of her screen time... and there's nothing sexy about snowsuits.

Couldn't 30 Days of Night have taken place in the desert? Ugh!

With 30 Days of Night, she fully arrived as a true genre hottie. Again, she didn't get naked, but she still looked really hot, and she carried a gun which just does something to us on a primal level. For the record, we're proud of her for letting Josh Hartnett die at the end too, because who needs him?

Triangle was a fun little time-juxtaposing Thriller, which saw multiple instances of Mmmelissa George facing off against one another... not to keep harping, but again there was no nudity from her, and this movie certainly could have benefited from two or three Mmmelissa George's involved in some sort of sinister group shower scene.

Oh, just shoot her already... she's become a prude.

Mmmelissa George is always showing up in one genre project or another, most of them pretty good, and for that we are thankful. She's one of those actresses working today that you can always count on to look hot while fighting to stay alive, and that's not an easy thing to pull off.

If we had to pick one flick of hers that shows off her scrappy survival skills the best, it would have to be A Lonely Place to Die; girlfriend was climbing mountains and shit while trying to dodge bullets and avoid rapey mountain men, and she did it all while looking perfect.

Now that's class.

This bitch is crazy.

This Australian sexpot may have toned down her on screen sluttiness a bit over the past few years (at least when it comes to her genre projects), but she's still doing her thing and entertaining us. I guess we can live with that, especially from one of the genre's best Millennium Hotties.

Still though, please get naked and bloody again soon, alright Mmmelissa?

Trick r' Treat 2 is FINALLY Happening!

*Here's our original review of Trick r' Treat.

There are two movies that deserve the moniker of "quintessential Halloween viewing," and one of them is called Trick r' Treat. (Halloween (1978) is obviously the other one, but everyone on the planet already knew that.)

Trick r' Treat made a huge ruckus on the Festival Circuit during 2007-2008, and it took two long years for it to see an actual release in October of 2009... It was only a Direct-to DVD release, which was truly a shame, but at least it finally made it that far.

Why it took so long to see the light of day is a discussion for another time. The point is that once it was released, it became an instant classic, and is most definitely required viewing for the creepiest month of the year.

Now, four years and an endless amount of fan support later, Sam is finally getting himself a sequel!

Directly from the Legendary Pictures website:

At Monday night’s special fan screening of the cult horror classic TRICK ‘R TREAT hosted by Legendary, the film’s iconic character, Sam, and director, Michael Dougherty, stole the show by announcing a sequel during the Q&A session. Other panel participants included two of the film's stars Dylan Baker and Brian Cox, as well as a surprise appearance by producer Bryan Singer.

There's no better news that Horror fans could be getting right now, as Trick r' Treat is a genuine classic that has begged for a sequel since the day it was born.

We're guessing that we'll see Trick r' Treat 2 in October of 2014, at the earliest, and we will hope and pray that it sees a Theatrical Run, and doesn't just head straight to video like its predecessor. 

Either way, it's finally happening!

If you haven't seen it already, do so asap. We've said it for years; Trick r' Treat is to Halloween what A Christmas Story is to Christmas. True, true story.

Amazon has the Blu-ray for $6.49 and the DVD for $3.99... there's no better Horror movie bargain to be had for the money. Click the links or the pic below an order yourself a copy. If you don't feel like waiting, check Netflix and every other On-Demand service that you have access to, and put this one in your queue!

31 Days of Millennium Hotties- Julianna Guill

Kicking off the final five in our Millennium Hotties celebration is the girl who graces our monthly Horror Hottie Banner, Julianna Guill. She's not as famous as most of the other Millennium Hotties, nor does she have the body of work that many of them do, but on February 13th, 2009, she gave to the Horror world a gift that is to this day, still immeasurable...

The best pair of on-screen boobs that we've seen in decades.

Banner-worthy, indeed.

First thing's first... the 2009 remake/re-telling/redux of Friday the 13th was not the POS that many Horror sites/critics made it out to be. I grew up watching Jason and all of his Crystal Lake exploits, so every movie in that series will always have a special place in my heart. You know, formative years and all.

If we're being honest though, and unless you're delusional, many of the movies in the F13th series weren't that great. They existed to showcase Jason killing teenagers in clever and painful ways, and nothing more. I loved them all the same (save for Jason Takes Manhattan, because that one was just truly horrendous), but they had issues. Critics complained that F13th 2009 was everything from too flashy, lacking in plot, that it had no substance, and about 100 other things.

It did feel more "modern" than F13th flicks of the past, but then again, so are the times. Bottom line is it's a slasher flick. Yes, it looks slicker and more "now" than do most of the F13th movies that have come before it (especially the earliest ones), but audience tastes have changed, and shiny is the new grit these days.

We liked the new Jason flick, and we say poop on those people who hated it for the wrong reasons, because we're rebels like that.

Run! Get your boobs to safety!

Anywho, back to Tits McGuill....and for the record, hers are so nice that the term "Tits McGee" should truly be changed to "Tits McGuill" immediately. That might be the best idea I've ever had. Ever.

Friday the 13th (2009) gave us our first taste of Julianna Guill and her perfect nipple placement. We figured she was just another bit player who showed up in this movie to add to the body count, and that's it... but oh, how wrong we were.

Just like many a F13th girl before her, Julianna dropped trau and hopped in bed with some dude... but this time, the obligatory slasher flick sex scene was different; as she climbed on top of Travis Winkie (or whatever his name was), and our eyes caught sight of her magnificent breasts, trumpets sounded, the heavens rumbled, and it was good.

Alright, maybe not all of that, but they were nice, and Marcus Nispel showcased them perfectly. Julianna Guill went from being "that one girl in the new F13th" to "Who is that girl!" in about 10 seconds.

Hugs from her must be fantastic.

From there, Julianna moved on to bit roles in the way underrated comedy, Fired Up, a Road Trip sequel, and a guest shot on the hit TV show, How I Met Your Mother. It wasn't long before she was brought back into the genre fold though, even if it was only in the MTV movie My Super Psycho Sweet 16. Hey, at least it was something...

That kinda looks like the before and after of most female child stars.

Julianna's career has been mostly made up of comedies, romantic comedies, and dramas, but every so often she sneaks back across the Horror border and makes another genre flick. Sure, those genre flicks may be Altitude and The Apparition, one of which was decent enough (Altitude) while the other one really sucked (Apparition), but hey, she makes an effort.

Of course she hasn't been naked on-screen since F13th, which is truly distressing to us, so her effort is kind of half-hearted at best.

Still, we'll always have Crystal Lake.

"Oh, you want me to take off my shirt and do a handjob scene? Sure thing... psyche!"

Naked or not, Julianna Guill is a pleasure to watch in whatever she stars in. She's actually kinda funny, so the comedy thing is cool with us, so long as she doesn't ignore the Horror Genre completely, and as long as at some point she realizes that being naked in movies is what good actresses do.

It's also fun to note that Julianna is in a band with Alison Brie. Do we care about their music? No, lol. But have you seen Alison Brie? That girl is every bit as amazing as any Horror Hottie out there, maybe even more so, and her curves are easily a match for Tits McGuill's. Their band is called The Girls too, which I'm 100% convinced is a reference to their boobs... which is absolutely fitting.

The perfect best friend.

For the record, we talk a lot about Boobs & Butts around here, and we do so because we like them, they've always been a mainstay in the Horror (and any other) Genre, and because hell, if someone's got it, let's celebrate the hell out of it.

We do not think that the measure of a woman is her body or its parts, it's just that a woman's mind and soul don't give us boners. So, it's a balancing act between "she's a great actress" & "she's been in a lot of great Horror flicks" & "God damn, have you seen that girl's ass!"

It's never easy, folks. Never.

Now, let's enjoy some more boner stuff...

 

31 Days of Millennium Hotties- Rachel Nichols

Going way back to 2008, Rachel Nichols was our very first Horror Hottie. We even put her before Jennifer Connelly, which is borderline blasphemy for us, but it had to be done.

Rachel Nichols, perhaps above all others, deserves every bit of our creepy and unhealthy affection. At the "just right" age of 32 (she was around 28 when we first wrote this post), she's put together an impressive body of work thus far, although the impressiveness of her work pales in comparison to that of her actual body (face included, of course.)

Maybe it's the "come put it in me" look in her eyes that draws us to her so strongly.

That's her "I'm about to slap you in the mouth" look. We're not big fans fo that one.

It all started with her now classic turn as the weed-smoking, whore babysitter in the 2005 remake of The Amityville Horror. Her performance in that movie is the stuff that dreams are made of; dirty, filthy, unattainable dreams. She may have only had a few scant minutes of screen time, but Rachel Nichols wowed critics and fans alike with her riveting performance.

That tongue needs its own movie.

The Amityville remake also provided us with the Horror Hottie showdown of the decade: Rachel Nichols vs. Mmmelissa George! It's mind boggling to think that two of the New Millennium's banginest Horror Hotties could occupy the same celluloid space and not cause some sort of space/time anomaly, but it happened. Mmmelissa George is top notch, but Rachel Nichols wont this round.

I have to believe in my heart that Ryan Reynolds somehow got the two of them into a steamy on-set trailer threesome, because if he didn't, he has failed mankind. I sincerely hope he at least tried like hell.

Good 1970's God in disco heaven!

When she played the bitchy Samantha in Lucky McKee's The Woods a year later, my "admiration" for her "craft" only grew. This time out, she played a sassy and evil schoolgirl, and yes, she spends most of her time in the movie rocking a schoolgirl uniform. Who cares what the damn movie was about (even though it was pretty good) because she plays a naughty schoolgirl!

Too bad that the "got caught smoking/punished in detention by the perverted old pedo-dean" scene was cut from the final print of the movie. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be included on some sort of Special Edition Unrated Director's Cut Blu-ray, and that there's a collectible hand towel included...

Rachel Nichols, in "The Woods." Not to be confused with Evan Rachel Wood. (The hotness factor is fairly similar though.)

Rachel ventured into the realm of Horror one more time, in 2007's P2. The movie focuses on her character being so hot, that some guy locks her in a parking garage and tries to rape/marry/kill her.

This movie totally rips off the script I'm constantly writing in my mind, which coincidentally has the exact same plot. Mine isn't just limited to a parking garage though; sometimes it's a cabin on a lake, sometimes it's in a broom closet at 7-11...once, it was even set in an igloo. Anyways, she's pretty hot in this flick. So yeah, Horror, Horror, Horror, blah, blah, blah... Time for another pic!

Even when shes soiled and distraught, she's still quite pleasant to look at.

She has range too, people; do you think that just any run-of-the-mill actress could handle demanding roles in movies like Sex and the City, and Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, the way that she did? Yeah, so do we, but at least she's in demand.

Star Trek was a waste of Rachel Nichols', talents, as all they did was paint her green and have her play an alien whore for like 10 minutes... could she not have been like a sexy Klingon or something? She had a bigger role in G.I. Joe, but that movie was pretty awful, so, meh. That's no fault of hers though, we blame Stephen Sommers for that mess.

We're just gonna pretend that Alex Cross, and Rachel's participation in Alex Cross, never happened. It's just better that way.

Rachel's new movie: Fingers are a Girls Best Friend.

Sexy and talented, the best part about Rachel Nichols is that she seems like she'd be a cool girl to hang with. She's a pretty DieHard Football Fan, and we can totally picture her wearing nothing but an NFL jersey on a chilly Fall Sunday, drinking beer and screaming at her TV... when someone scores a TD, maybe she rips that jersey off, spins it above her head like a helicopter, and screams "hell yeah!"

It really doesn't get much better than that.

You can currently catch this sultry dish trying to save the future on the Canadian TV show, Continuum, which is being run in the U.S. on Syfy. At least she's got a good run going on that show, because she was cut out of Criminal Minds way too quick.We're still pissed about that, CBS.

Oh, that shirt has words on it? Didn't even read.

It's more than clear that Rachel Nichols has made an impression on the world of Horror (and Film/TV in general), and is also really, really, seriously, smoking hot. We can't wait to see her in the upcoming adaptation of Stephen King's The Ten O'Clock People, where she'll literally be smoking hot, but until then, I guess we'll just have to watch Continuum.