The Last Exorcism Part II (2013)

Having been fans of The Last Exorcism- which apparently wasn't the last exorcism at all- we were expecting its follow up to be at least as solid, and maybe even take the story in a new, fresh direction. After all, they opted to ditch the whole Found Footage thing and go with a straight up movie for the sequel, so maybe a shift in tone might add something to it, you know?

Well...

If we can say anything good about this ill-advised sequel, is that it's a well made, pretty film. It established a nice, dread-filled atmosphere in which its narrative had room to grow, and it's effective enough to have pulled us in and make us want to see where it went... and then of course, nothing of note ever really happened.

It all starts off on a rather promising note: After the closing events of the first film, Nell Sweetzer is found cowering on the kitchen counter of some local couple whose house she broke into, thus scaring the crap out of them. She's scared and looking rather demonic, and the tone for the film is set just about perfectly.

This is why I never go into the kitchen at night. Ever.

She's taken to a local hospital, examined and bathed, where she has some sort of crazy flashback and starts throwing up gang signs. After they decide that Nell isn't insane (?!?), she's relegated to life in a halfway house for wayward girls, which is populated only by attractive kids who look as if they've been in a Benetton ad or two.

"West-siiiiddddeeee!"

She gets a job as a maid at a local Hotel, meets a boy, and is even introduced to "music" via one of those fancy music players with them wiry headphones! She also encounters agents of (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam (that pesky Demon) everywhere she goes, who eerily remind her, constantly, how she belongs to him, and that he will have her, and that he's going to touch her at night while she sleeps...

This is actually a tender love/sex scene. Honestly.

After a failed voodoo exorcism -which by the way is really cheesy and lame- the movie culminates in a resolution filled with CGI fire and cheesy grins. Apparently all (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam wanted this whole time was to be able to drive a car and do some arson. And "enter" a young, tender girl. Perv.

Every time I hear the name Abalam, Black Betty starts playing in my head... and won't stop.

Why did the local police make no effort to find her family, or investigate the events that lead to her disheveled, tragic state? Where did her brother go? Why was she not questioned as to the whereabouts of Cotton Marcus and his missing film crew? Is there a reason that (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam, the Demon that haunts Nell, seems to want to bang her more than he does possess her? Seriously, our Demon villain possesses her hand while she sleeps, and proceeds to rub her face like he's failing miserably at finding her fun button... so at worst, (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam is a pedo-creeper who likes to rub girls up while they're asleep. Yeah.

Most of the movie was slow and plodding, relying on old gags and tired plot devices to carry it along. For instance, Nell sees a random visage of her dead Father staring at her from across a busy street, and after a bus passes between them, he's gone gone! Fresh, right? We're also treated to creepy flash imagery which ends in Nell waking up and realizing "it was just a dream..." She even gets phone calls from (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam... after she's unplugged the phone! So much of this movie was way too familiar, and not in a good way.

Cool imagery though.

Music cues and jump scares, that's about as terrifying as things get here. In short, the whole thing is little more than recycled gags.

(Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam is apparently hot for Nell, and we spend the whole movie being reminded of that fact through various means, all of which never really amounts to much. Everyone around her is an agent of evil, urging Nell to give in to (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam's will because "she belongs to him", and it all get very repetitive and tiring.

This movie is sorely missing the character of Cotton Marcus, who really made the first film so palatable. Could they not have had him somehow survive the events of the first movie, and spend the sequel tracking Nell down to either help her or kill her? They could have went that way and made this movie a solid sequel. Too bad they didn't.

I'm guessing that (Whoa-oh, Black Betty) Abalam is a horny demon that likes to be inappropriate with young girls.

Aside from its solid technical presentation and Ashley Bell acating her ass off, The Last Exorcism Part II falls flat. The movie relies on tricks and gags that we've seen endless times before, which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if they actually made the movie scary or even added some dramatic tension to the proceedings. Unfortunately, the movie has too many plot holes and there are too many questions that go unanswered for us to not take issue with it. As it stands, what we have here is a slow, plodding, uneventful sequel to a movie that deserved a better follow up than this.

D

Ashley Bell is not to blame for this movie's shortcomings and failings; she's a good little actress and she did what she could here with the limited material she had to work with. She's also cute as a button, so lay off of her!

When a complete stranger comes into your home every week via the TV, you can't really help but develop an affinity for them. When the TV show that brings them there is of the highest caliber, said affinity grows stronger. When that complete stranger's acting talent is also of the highest caliber, again, said affinity grows.

James Gandolfini was one of those actors of the highest caliber, on a Television show of equal caliber, that came into our homes over the course of six glorious seasons of HBO's The Sopranos. His NJ mob boss was ruthless and debased, and his actions often times shocked us and made us question his humanity... and yet we couldn't help but love him.

Tony Soprano wasn't all menace; in fact he was a loving family man who did his best to take care of his family, despite the fact that most of the time they didn't deserve it. More than that, he was a tortured soul, which is the real reason that we as an audience felt for him, despite his rather large misgivings. James Gandolfini made us love someone we should have despised, and that, my friends, is no mean feat.

Those that knew the real James Gandolfini called him kind and gracious; a gentle and loving man that treated everyone with respect, no matter who they were. He was charitable, he was warm, and he was humble.

I never knew that side of him, because I'm just a fan of his work, and never had the privilege to know him in the real world, but it makes me really happy to know that someone whose talent I so admired, was even more admirable in his real life.

It also makes me sad, because the world is better for having those types of people In it, and now there's one less amongst us.

Aside from his fantastic work on The Sopranos I'd like to offer you two examples of just how great of an actor Mr. Gandolfini was:

This scene from Tony Scott's 1993 classic, True Romance, was my introduction to James Gandolfini. It's about as perfect as a scene can get; while being utterly brutal, it also has a sort of quiet sentimentality to it. James Gandolfini plays a hitman who beats Patricia Arquette half to death, and yet still shows flashes of remorse and tenderness while doing so. If you haven't seen the movie, you're missing out and need to get on it asap. it's short, powerful, and brilliant.

If there's a movie that really speaks to who James Gandolfini was as a person, it might just be Welcome to the Rileys. It's a heartwarming drama about a guy who after losing his teenage daughter, dedicates himself to saving the life of troubled teen. It's a good movie, and in my heart of hearts, I believe that it may be the best on screen representation of James Gandolfini the person, that we've seen.

51 is far too young for someone to die. While James Gandolfini entertained us with his immense talent, by all accounts he also made the lives of those around him better through his charitable actions and his equally immense capacity for love and kindness.

I guess you can't really leave behind a better legacy than that. Thanks, Tone. For everything.

Good night, sweet prince, and may you rest well.

As well it should be. (Click for story)

THC's Video Pick of the Week!

There will most likely never be another time when our pick of the week is a DVD; since Blu-ray exists, there's just no good reason for us to buy anything on DVD anymore. There are rare exceptions to this rule involving movies or TV shows that aren't and most likely won't ever be on BD, and this week's pick is one of those rarest of animals.

1979's The Tourist Trap is one of the creepiest flicks we've ever seen, and for just $9.99, it's a must own. *Since we're really handy, you can click the box art above and order it from Amazon via our link. You're welcome.

You could definitely argue that the movie feels dated, has some cheesy moments amidst the creepy ones, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense... in other words, it's a fairly typical 1970's B-grade Horror flick. Not to worry though, as Horror fans you know that's not a bad thing at all (in most cases.)

If however you have a healthy fear or disdain for mannequins, dolls, puppets, or Chuck Connors, then this movie will likely make you curl up into a little ball and cry. It's effective as hell, and it seems to be largely undiscovered by the more casual Horror fans amongst us, which is truly a shame.

As much as we loved getting our hands on Shout Factory's collector's editions of The Howling and Lifeforce, The Tourist Trap is our sentimental fave of the week. Take a gander at our review below, and get your hands on this flick soon thereafter. Do it. You won't be sorry.

The Digital Dread Report for June 18th

What a week for releases! In addition to our Pick of the Week, there are no less than five Blu's hitting shelves today that we can't resist picking up, not to mention a strong crop of rental fodder... we're really going to have to start budgeting better...


We've been waiting anxiously for this day for months now, because we get not one, but two new Shout Factory Blu-ray's in our hot little hands! The Howling has been MIA on Blu-ray for way to long, but no longer. We're dying to get our hands on this one today (Amazon needs to hurry), and give it a spin. Ditto for the Tobe Hooper cult classic, Lifeforce. We always had a soft spot in our hearts for this 1985 space-vampire flick, and we just know that Shout did it great justice. Both of these are absolute must own Blu-ray titles.

American Mary is a solid little flick that we were surprised to love way more than we thought we would, same goes for Stoker, and they both deserve some collection love.

I'm going to just come right out and say it: Jack the Giant Slayer was a pretty good flick. Sure, it had its cheesy moments, and it's mainly a kids movie, but it was an enjoyable, family-friendly fantasy that deserved better than bombing at the Box Office like it did. Catch this one at a good sale price, and it's definitely worthy of a buy.
 
Come Out and Play is a decent enough remake of one of a movie we reviewed WAY back when called Who Can Kill a Child? It's worth checking out, although we much prefer the 1976 original.

As for the rest of the week's rents, most of their trailers looked decent enough to pique our curiosity, so there you have it.

The stand-out title here though is The Evil Clergyman; it's a 30 minute short of an H.P. Lovecraft story which was shot way back in 1987 as part of an anthology... and it stars Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton! Good Lord we need to see this asap.

  In all fairness, it’s hard to say that a movie is going to be complete shit just from seeing a trailer, but you know what, the Horror genre has too many people making shit films on camcorders these days for us to be too optimistic about them, especially when their trailers look awful.

The Amazing Adventures of The Living Corpse looks as if its animation was done on somebodies home computer. I am personally not much on animation anyhow, so to see a trailer for an animated flick that looks really cheap just puts me off even more. Could be just me.

The trailers I've seen for Blood For Irina are about :40 seconds long, and consist of a woman staring into a camera and snarling in slow motion. No thanks.

The Last Exorcism, which is the weeks worst "Big Movie", just plain old sucked. We loved the first movie (I think we were in the minority on that one), and we expected more out of its sequel. They reeally dropped the ball on this one.

100 Below Zero is the new project from The Asylum, and while we give them credit for getting better as they go, the whole "bad on purpose" shtick isn't our thing. If it were, we'd see this one without hesitating. Many will surely love this one.

Abducted and Jersey Shore Massacre just look cheap and shitty, while No One Will Know looks cheap and bland.

I have to admit that Plastic could be a fun watch on some level; sure, it looks just as cheap and shitty as the rest of this weeks skips, but the trailer had a few promising spots in it, so you never know.

Finally, we have Prank. I'm not at all interested in seeing a movie about disenfranchised teens killing people for revenge, because we have enough of that shit going on in real life in this Country. This one just rubs me the wrong way, and I'm good never wasting my time sitting through it.