Tonight...

The Digital Dread report for May 29th

May is drawing to a close, but there's one more batch of DVD releases to sort through for the month.

There are actually a few winners this week. The Aggression Scale was a raw, tense little thriller that managed to entertain us more than we thought it would. It's definitely worth at least a rental.Coriolanus was a great modern retelling of the Shakespeare play, that packed a lot of tension and blood into its 2 hour run time. Rape of the Vampire and Requiem for a Vampire are two old school Jean Rollin flicks that will make fans of that 70's exploitation style pretty happy. True Blood is True Blood; you either need to buy the new season on DVD or you don't.

Now we're going to go against the horror community grain and tell you that Gone was decent enough to warrant a viewing. Most horror sites, and many horror fans decried Gone as one of the worst movies of the year, but we don't fully agree. While it was flawed and very formulaic at times, it managed to be somewhat interesting and even enjoyable on some level. We wouldn't add it to our library, but we're not mad that we sat through it. Maybe we just like watching Amanda Seyfried's boobs on scree. Who knows.

The Yellow Wallpaper looks really interesting, and we will be seeing it as soon as we get a chance.

As for the worst bet of the week, we have Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.  Oh yeah, it's The Asylum again, offering fans another ultra low budget, ultra low quality Mockbuster... We don't get the love for these flicks, but they obviously have an audience, because The Asylum hasn't stopped making them yet. It's one on life's little mysteries that we may never understand...

Horror Hotties: The Girls of Cabin in the Woods

*Note: This was one of the posts that got lost in what we're calling "The great Blogger new-interface scandal of 2012." We had to redo a bunch of posts from scratch, and so here's one of them.

Cabin in the Woods was not only one of the most entertaining flicks we've seen this year, but it was definitely one of the most visually appealing flicks we've seen in a long time. Bloody, nasty, crazy and just mind-blowingly "out there" in parts, what this movie offered us was a visual feast of Horror goodness; not least of which were the hot chicks that were on parade.

"Um, excuse me?"

First up is the naughtiest of the Cabin girls, Anna Hutchison. Not only does she do some sexy dancing and sashaying around, but she shows her boobies and straddles a guy, ready to make some bacon. Her defining moment though was what might be one of the strangest "hot" scenes I can ever recall, in which she seductively kisses and licks a wolf's head that is mounted on a wall... it's too odd to explain, you really have to see it for yourself. If you like saucy blondes though, this girl is most def for you.

The hot Kiwi was also a Power Ranger, which isn't necessarily hot, but somehow seems relevant?

Next up is Amy Acker (or Fred, as her die hard fans call her.) She's been starring in geeky Fanboy shows and movies for years now, and she's most definitely a banger. She doesn't get very sexy in Cabin, but it was still nice to see her manipulating people's lives in a cold and calculating way... hey, we find women of power to be really hot. What do you want from us?

Joss Whedon really likes his strong, bad-ass, and mean female characters, doesn't he?

Finally, we have our Final Girl, Kristen Connolly. She's the "good girl/prude" in the movie, and it's really hard to find reasonably sexy pics of her online, but she's still a cutie who deserves a mention. Maybe it's the way she teased in Cabin that made her so hot.

She has some pretty hypnotizing eyes, and she can scream and look terrified pretty well, so it's really all a wash.

We can only hope that the DVD offers us some extra material featuring more of these bad girls, like maybe an extended group shower scene, or a crazy wolf's head triple kiss or something... or maybe we'll get those scenes in a sequel! Probably not, but we aren't against the idea.

Thank you, Girls of The Cabin in the Woods, for making April a little bit hotter. Maybe next time, lose the clothes though, alrighty? Alrighty.

Let's watch some Memorial Day horror movies, while showing the love.

While most people tend to act like Memorial Day Weekend is more like "4 Day Weekend in which we BBQ!", we here at THC take it for what it is; a remembrance and celebration of brave and selfless Soldiers who serve and have served in the Military. Some of our very own family and friends are serving now, deployed to far away lands to force democracy on people who don't even speak English. All of us have Parents and Grandparents, or other loved ones who have served, and kicked all kinds of ass. We don't love War, but we do love our Soldiers.

Whether you're American or not, the same thing applies to you too, so let's all honor Soldier's both present and past together, shall we? Let's do it by watching some Military themed horror flicks this weekend. It may seem morbid, but at least this way it's less depressing. We cry fairly easy around here.


There are a few horror flicks that have to do with the modern day conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, even though those conflicts are alive in well in various ways. They usually involve some U.S. troops pissing off a Djinn or some ancient Islamic spirits and paying the price, which I guess is a metaphor of some sort? The Devil's Tomb is the best of them in our book, although Osombie looks pretty interesting... alright, Osombie looks fucking stupid, but it makes us laugh. Plus, who doesn't want to see him killed twice, you know? Most other flicks in this category are decent enough if the modern day war efforts tug at your interest strings.


The real bread and butter of War themed Horror movies involves Nazi's and WWII. There are tons of Nazi horror movies around, most of them involving them coming back as zombies. We have to admit that as awful as the Nazi's were, they do make for good film villains, so we're usually down for these kinds of flicks. The Devil's Rock is one of the better horror flicks we've seen recently, and one of the best Nazi/Occult flicks we've ever seen. It has an genuine WWII feel about it, and is all kinds of effective. Blood Creek is awesome too and extremely unknown/underrated. All I'm saying is Nazi Necromancer and zombie horses... amazing, right? The Keep is a classic, and one of our faves.It's cheesy in spots, but a demon destroying S.S. Soldiers is a thing of beauty. Below is creepy and subtle, and reminds us that all submarines are haunted. All of these flicks are definite must see material.


Nazi ghosts and zombies are always out for revenge. Whether protecting their bunker's, their hidden gold, or trying to return and conquer the world again, they always manage to look cool on screen and evoke this sort of creepy nostalgia... even if some of them are cheesy and full of schlock.


There are also other horror flicks that take place in other wars, and they all deliver their goods and sometimes even some heavy messages. Dog Soldiers, the best werewolf movie ever (according to us), shows that Soldiers can be in danger even during routine training exercises. It's a top notch flick. Pan's Labyrinth shows the effects that WWII had on a little girl in Spain, and does so in a haunting and beautiful manner.  It's a world class film by Guillermo Del Toro. R-Point takes the creepy action to Vietnam and delivers a pretty good ghost story with some fun twists. Deathwatch, the only WWI horror flick we've ever seen, takes place in a trench on the western front, and delivers the evil spirit goods.

So you see, there are plenty of ways for we horror fans to pay homage to the veterans of the world this Memorial Day Weekend, and and do so in a way that's less sad and depressing.

As for the love...

War is what it is. It forever changes the lives of the brave men and women who don the uniform of their homeland and fight for what it is they believe in. Some never return home, while other return shells of their former selves. It embitters some while filling others with a sense of selfless pride.

For those of us who are not, nor have never been soldiers, it is our duty to honor and respect the men and women of the armed forces as best we can. We may not believe in the war that they wage, but it's not about that int he least. Soldiers are some body's parent's, somebody's children. They are brothers and sisters and loved ones. They have shitty jobs to do, and they do them for very little money and almost no praise. They endure horrific things on behalf of those that can not. They protect. They defend. They sacrifice their lives and often times their souls, so that the rest of us may live free and not have to sacrifice our own.

If we see a man or woman in uniform on the street or in a restaurant, we should say thank you. A quick simple word of thanks, a pat on the shoulder, or an "I'm glad you're home" suffices. Send them over a drink and raise your glass with a silent nod of the head. Quietly pick up their lunch tab, and leave them to wonder who it was. Big or small, just do something. With everything that they've seen and endured, a small gesture of genuine love or appreciation goes a hell of a long way.

Just don't call them "Hero" though, because they'll never cop to that. Heroes never do.

Horror Hotties: Alice Eve

She may not have a ton of Genre work under her chastity belt yet, but Alice Eve is poised to make Fanboys everywhere to drool in their popcorn for a very long time to come. (*Note, some Fanboys prefer other snacks to popcorn. We don't like to stereotype.)

*Note: This was one of the posts that got lost in what we're calling "The great Blogger new-interface scandal of 2012." We had to redo a bunch of posts from scratch, and so here's one of them.

For the love of...

With the release of ATM, Horror fans finally got to call this dirty British bird their own. When we heard that Alice Eve was going to star in ATM, we were truly geeked, mainly because the idea of watching her do some hot ass-to-mouth action for 90 minutes on screen was fantastically brilliant. When we learned that the title ATM had nothing to do with a lewd sexual act, our elation turned to dismay. As sad as that news was to us, we got over the fact that ATM referred to a frigging money machine, and decided it was still nice to see her in one of our Genre's movies.

Too bad the ATM in this movie wouldn't allow you do withdraw a decent script.

The hotness of Alice Eve had intrigued us ever since we saw her get naked and bang Ray Liotta in a little movie called Crossing Over. She got really, really naked in that movie, and she was really, really good at it. She was even hotter (though way less naked) in She's Out of My League. By this point, we knew that we needed to see her as a Final Girl, or even a helpless victim of some kind, in a Horror movie. We finally got our wish with the release of ATM... which was a huge letdown for us, but we enjoyed the eye candy. At least it was progress.

Above: The Master blocks our view of Alice's nipple. Below: Ray Liotta is a lucky, lucky man.

Speaking of progress, we next saw this cheeky little tart in The Raven; this movie looked like it would be far better than ATM; it had John Cusack in it; and it was about Edgar Allen Poe... and it kinda sucked. So, two sucky Horror flicks, but plenty of Alice Eve. I guess you take the good with the bad these days as far as movies are concerned, but man we were really dying to see all of Alice's hotness in a movie that was actually good. Which brings us to Men in Black 3...

"Once upon a midnight dreary, John Cusack had a boner in this scene."

We aren't the biggest fans of the Men in Black movies around here, nor do we usually like the average Will Smith flick (he can't rap for shit either), so of course here's Alice Eve again showing up in another mediocre movie that makes us cringe. What the hell? She's banging hot, she's a decent actress... is she fucking with us?

In this scene from AMC's Mad Men, Betty and Don Draper look on in astonishment as something 1960's-ish happens.

There is hope for her yet though folks, and this hope is great; Alice Eve's next movie just so happens to be a little indie film called STAR TREK 2! J.J. Abrams' 2009 updating of the Star Trek universe was sheer awesomeness, and we have no doubt that the sequel will deliver as well. We hope.

What we really want to know though is who/what Alice Eve is playing in the movie? Is she a hot, green skinned alien that seduces Kirk, or is she a sexy Klingon whore that bangs everyone on the ship? Details are being kept secret right now, but we just know that she'll be in some sort of tight and skimpy costume. That, at least, makes us giddy with anticipation.

Stop acting hun, and just let your tits emote... they'll tell the story. Trust them.

So, Alice Evesome  got her feet wet this year with a bunch of Genre work; sure, those movies may have all sucked on different levels, but at least she's trying. At least she's crossed over into our realm, which is all we've ever asked for. She's welcome to stay, but if she does, she needs to give us some sex scenes and nudity, because we deserve as much. Shes' about as hot as a Horror Hottie can get, but she definitely needs to pick some better flicks to star in. And get more naked.

I Guess we'll see what happens.