"Well played, James Wan. You've managed to entertain us yet again..."
Sub-Genre- Supernatural/Haunted House
Cast Members of Note- Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye, Barbara Hershey and Leigh Whannell.
Insidious is about a kid that goes into a coma because his house is haunted by some mean ghosts whom apparently like to scare kids to the point of being comatose. I mean, kill the kid or possess him, but put him into a coma? That's just cruel and unusual, even for malevolent spirits. Then again, maybe that's the whole point.
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| Why is Darth Maul smiling? |
With their son in a coma, and a house that gets progressively creepier and creepier to live in, Mom and Dad decide to call in a psychic and her team of
Ghostbusters to help sort out the supernatural shenanigans. This is, of course, after the family up and moves away from their first creepy house, and the creepiness followed them to their new digs. I'd call someone too, because how many times can you really move and hope to shake the ghosts out of your packed bags?
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| "Boo! Now unpack me!" |
The story takes a twist from here on out, so I really can't comment on it too much lest I spoil certain plot points, but suffice it to say that the place that the story eventually leads... is kinda lame. It's like going to
Hell, only to find out that it's basically like
Arizona; really hot and dry, boring, uncomfortable, drab, and an overall sad place to live.
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| She who guides Carol Ann towards the light. |
After hearing some negative word about
Insidious, I was doing my best to avoid watching it at all. Sure, that's a pretty big cop-out on my part, but I couldn't help it, I just didn't want to do it. Having seen it now, I once again feel like a moron for listening to anyone else when it comes to something that I originally want to see. I do it all the time. I'm fallible.
The poster for this movie makes you think it's an "evil kid" flick, which it isn't. It also has nothing to do with exorcism or possession (in the standard way.)
Insidious is a haunted house flick through and through, and a pretty good one for being rated
PG-13. Yeah, the dreaded
PG-13 rating, which usually renders most
Horror movies instantly less cool, isn't such a big deal in this case.
Insidious succeeds not because of blood and boobs, but atmosphere and tension.
James Wan and
Leigh Whannell, with only a few flicks under their belts, have proven that they know how to make effective
Horror flicks, and that they're here to stay. In one of the best
Horror moves of all time, I need to tip my hat to the both of them for doing something that I can't recall ever seeing in a haunted house flick before (feel free to correct me in the comment section if I'm wrong, friends); once shit got too creepy for the family, and they realized something was really wrong in their house, they said "screw this, let's move!" When that happened, I actually yelled "That's what I'm talkin' about!" at the screen; not because I'm "that guy," but because someone finally listened to my advice, after saying "leave!" during so many other
Horror flicks over the years.
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| Yeah, time to go. |
I'll give the naysayers this: the third reel of the movie was definitely weaker than everything else that came before it. For the first hour, the movie worked perfectly. It was tense and creepy, and had me fairly unsettled with it's atmosphere and goings-on. Once the "
Ghostbusters" arrive on the scene though, the movie branches out a bit and goes somewhere that I wasn't quite expecting. Now, from that point onward,
Insidious is less creepy and more... tension-filled, I guess is the best descriptor. It's still effective, but it was more
Thriller-ish than it was pure
Horror.
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| Yes, Rose, there are naysayers. |
There's buzz on the
Interwebs that
Insidious as a film steals basically every part of its makeup from other movies,
Poltergeist and
Ghostbusters chief amongst them, therefore making it suck. Some morons even go so far as to claim that using a creepy old song, the sharpening of knives, and the look of the "main"
Demon are specific rip offs of other movies...
Listen, if you've seen 12 or less movies over the span of your lifetime, I can see you saying that. The fact of the matter is though, that it's nearly impossible to make a specific kind of movie in a specific genre without it resembling other previously made movies in some way. Film, literature, music.. they're all art forms that are constantly evolving, and yes, there's a lot of resemblance/homage/and even conscious "borrowing" that goes on. If you want 100% originality all of the time, then the
Horror genre would have most likely ended it's ability to ever make new movies with
Psycho,
The Exorcist,
Night of the Living Dead,
The Haunting,
Texas Chainsaw,
Alien and
Dracula. That pretty much makes every slasher, possession, haunted house, zombie, torture porn, space, or monster movie that has come since, invalid.
So in summary, shut up.
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| Shut up! |
A little bit of blood is all we get from
Insidious; it's definitely more on the atmospheric side of things.
It's
PG-13, come on now.
Creepiness in kids is apparently an inherited thing. Also,
James Wan knows how to make him a good
Horror movie.
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| What the... |
As
PG-13 haunted house flicks go,
Insidious is about as effective as it gets... for the first half of the movie, anyhow. It's a fun ride throughout its entirety, just be prepared for a twist and a drop in
Creep Factor towards the end. Check it out while it's still in
Theaters, or when it hits
DVD (hopefully in
Unrated form.)
B+
Rose Byrne is awesome, though she needs to let her
Aussie accent out to play more often. Along with her boobs.
THC's very own "Erin" has been placed on active suspension following her admission of not knowing what Fright Night or The Monster Squad were. You know, the horror classics, that were instant classics when she was a kid?
According to inside sources, after being asked "Do you think Colin Farrell will be good in the Fright Night remake?", this is the exchange that took place:
"What's that?"
"What's what?
"Fright Night. Never heard of it."
Silence fell across the room.
Troubled looks were exchanged between THC members.
More silence.
Then finally her husband chimed in with "She didn't know what Monster Squad was until we watched it last year either."
From the other room we could hear the sounds of their children weeping because mommy broke their hearts.
After a saucy debate and some unsavory words, it all ended with Erin saying "Whatever."
This is the ugly side of the business, folks. The shameful, deceitful underbelly seldom talked about in polite company.
All details regarding punishment and possible litigation are being withheld pending a judiciary review, or until she bakes us some cookies or something and erases this blight from out horror loving minds.
Winter is Coming.
Though it is of the fantasy variety, Game of Thrones is still a show that deserves some genre attention from we horror fanatics. It's based on a successful fantasy book series called A Song of Ice and Fire, and author George R.R. Martin sums up the series like this:
"Set in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, where "summers span decades and winters can last a lifetime," Game of Thrones chronicles the violent dynastic struggles among the kingdom's seven noble families for control of the Iron Throne; as the series opens, additional threats from the snow and ice covered region north of Westeros and from the eastern continent across a narrow sea are simultaneously beginning to rise."
It sounds kinda bland to me, but 4 episodes in and it's safe to say that Game of Thrones is pure bliss to watch. Aside from "The Others" shown at the beginning of episode 1, and the dire wolves, it's been mostly "fantasy free" thus far, but it still has tons to offer for viewers of all tastes. The offerings consist of sex, nudity, violence, profanity, rape, murder and incest. Oh, it's crazy full of that stuff. Definitely an adult show, though we're adults so we say more please.
After garnering 4.3 million viewers for its premiere episode, HBO renewed the series for its 2nd season, one day after. One day. That should tell you quite a bit.
Not having read the books, we know very little of what's to come, though the things we do know are pretty massive spoilers, so we're going to stay generic on those topics. Here's what we love the most so far about Game of Thrones:
Sean Bean/Lord Eddard Stark- How can you not love Sean Bean, especially in a role like this. Eddard Stark is the main character of the show for the most part, and so far he's been endearing and quietly fierce. I'm thinking he will get less quiet pretty soon. There's one spoiler about him we wish we hadn't read, so we urge you not to go poking around online about the books, unless you want to be spoiled. Trust us, you don't.
Arya- The youngest Stark Daughter, Arya wants to play with swords rather than dolls, and she's got a feisty spirit. She's one of the strongest characters in the show thus far, and we can't wait to see what she develops into.
Jon Snow- Eddard Stark's bastard son, his surname is Snow as is the surname of all Bastards in the North. He's destined for great things we think, and the fact that his mother's identity is such a mystery makes him compelling to say the least. He's a bad ass in waiting, we just know he is.
Tyrion/Peter Dinklage- Make all the jokes about small stature that you will, but this actor is massive on talent. Maybe the only Lannister that doesn't deserve a painful death, from his "bitch slap" scene on, you will love him. My personal favorite character thus far. I hope he plays a major role throughout the whole thing.
Emilia Clarke/Danerys- If after looking upon this girl's beauty you aren't instantly captivated, you're gay. It's fine if you are, I'm just saying that you're gay. She's freakishly gorgeous, and plays the role of Danerys with a subtle power... she's just great to watch. I love British chicks.
The Dire Wolves- Grey Wind, Lady, Nymeria, Summer, Shaggydog, and Ghost -all adopted by the Stark children- are the Stark family Symbol. So far, they have proven pretty awesome, and they get even more awesome down the road. I mean, they grow to be as big as horses, so that has to be awesome. Plus, other spoilery things. Good stuff.
The Eggs- What are the eggs that Danerys was given as a wedding gift? Petrified dragon's eggs, that's what. We do wonder how long they'll stay petrified though...
The Others/White Walkers- We've only seen them once so far, but wow, we need to see them again.
From the Wiki: "The Others, known amongst the wildlings as White Walkers, are a race of creatures that have been recorded to exist north of the Wall. Before the events of A Song of Ice and Fire, the Others had not been seen on Westeros since the end of The Long Night over 8,000 years previous. In the Seven Kingdoms, the Others came to be regarded as an extinct race or simply a fairy tale. Events in A Song of Ice and Fire have proven this belief to be untrue. The Others appear as tall, gaunt humanoids with chalk white skin and eyes of blue so deep it burns like fire. They wear reflective armor that shifts in color with every step, and wield thin crystal swords that seem to give off a bluish hue. They ride corpses of dead animals. Creatures killed by the Others reanimate as undead zombies called wights."
So seriously, while everyone is fighting and politicking between themselves south of The Wall, The White Walkers are probably going to be a big problem for them all soon enough...
There's plenty more that's good about the show so far, but to list it all would be crazy. It's a great show, sure to give genre fans something to look forward to on Sunday night for the next 6 weeks. Get on board now, and be happy that you did.
*TV Guide has put together a great Guide to Game of Thrones here.
So let me get this straight.. Alexandre Aja, the man who gave us Haute Tension, The Hills Have Eyes and Piranha 3D, is making an 80's style, space pirate movie? !!!!!
That poster brings to mind so many post-apocalyptic and cheesy space movies from the past that we can't help but be excited. Snake Plissken with a gun hand, anyone?
"In a future where merchant spaceships and ruthless brigands sail across space, Cobra is a notorious rogue pirate whose refusal to align with the United Galaxies Federation or the Pirates Guild puts him on the business end of a huge bounty. As he tries to keep his identity secret and avoid capture, Cobra teams up with a sexy bounty hunter named Jane, who is out to locate her sisters and decode a treasure map tattooed on their backs. Their goal: to liberate a lost treasure on Mars."
2013 can't get here soon enough.
