The 31 Days of Horror- #8

The best vampire ever, some bad-ass werewolves, Satanico Pandemonium, and some British "zombies"...

The 70's

Salem's Lot (1979)- This is quite possibly my favorite Horror movie ever (although that's way too tough to call), and it was only a TV mini series! Something about the Vampires in this movie just terrifies me; I think they look perfect. It has to be the creepy eyes. Anyways, this is a Class-A Vampire story, with the coolest Vampire ever in it: Barlow, a.k.a. The Master... he is our Website's mascot after all! Dracula is the man, but he just never inspired fear in me the same way that Barlow did... I can't recommend this one enough, so check it out... and beware little Vampire kids scratching at your window!

The 80's

The Howling (1981)- For our money this is the best Werewolf movie ever made! The first time I saw this, I was about 12 years old; I remember the transformation scenes being the best I'd ever seen, and they still are today. The Werewolves said all sorts of cool things too, like "Silver bullets my ass!" or "Come on bright boy, give it your best shot" which made my 12-year-old mind geek out. What a great flick... in fact, I'm going to watch it now!

The 90's

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)- Pulp Fiction with vampires? Sign me up! Clooney rules in this movie, and Salma Hayek is SCORCHING HOT as a slutty Vampire pole dancer... This movie also has one of my favorite lines in movie history "I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard." Bloody, witty, action packed and surprisingly dramatic, this is more of a fun Vampire movie than it is creepy or horrific, but it's a hell of a ride, and one of the best of the 90's.

The 2000's

28 Days Later (2002)- A Zombie film of a different sort... The thought of waking up in England, alone, streets deserted, only to find that a massive infection has turned everyone else into stark raving mad beserkers that hate you, is a crazy fun premise. This movie lays a thick dose of tension on you from the get-go and doesn't let up until then end, and that's something that's missing from many Horror movies these days; they just don't know how to engage the audience quite like this. Are France, Spain and Great Britian the last hope for Horror? Judging by movies like this, they just may be.

See you tomorrow with #7...

The 31 Days of Horror- #9

The Antichrist, and angry Mother, a creepy forest, and a Demon of the mind...

The 70's

The Omen (1976)- The Antichrist is such a cute little boy... wait, no he isn't. He actually looks like he's evil. Part of 70's horror was the fascination with Satan and the occult, and this is the best movie dealing with the Devil's kid that has ever been made. A story about the Devil's child is something that you have to love, especially when everyone who finds out about him ends up dying. The Omen is an all time classic, with one of those "Best of" horror movie endings. It's all for you, Damien!

The 80's

Friday the 13th (1980)- This is the movie that started the slasher craze in earnest. As popular as this series went on to become, it's fun to note that Jason Voorhees, the series icon, wasn't even the killer in this. Now, I should really recognize the first movie starring Jason (part II), because he is the franchise after all; then again, if I did that, I'd have to start with part III because he didn't even get his trademark hockey mask until halfway through that one. It doesn't matter though, because part I, Jason or not, was really the best one of the series. Stupid teens being stalked and slashed while getting high and having sex... that was everything that 80's Horror was about. Ki-ki-ki, ma-ma-ma!

The 90's

The Blair Witch Project (1999)- This is the movie that I've dreaded getting to. Many people love the BWP, and just as many people hate it; both with equal passion. Either way, it was a landmark moment in Horror, and gave us something that has been mostly devoid from Horror movies over the past 20 years: originality. I'm not the biggest fan of "found footage" movies, but it worked here, making the fact that the protagonists were lost in the woods and being stalked by a Witch even more unsettling. You never see the Witch, which really pissed me off, but it doesn't take away from the effectiveness of this movie. The key to loving Blair Witch is to believe the premise; the footage were seeing was real footage recovered by police, and was a document of three missing kids last days. That's pretty damn terrifying if you ask me.

The 2000's

Session 9 (2001)- Hands down one of the creepiest movies ever made. Many people haven't even heard of this bad ass little movie, and that makes me sad. It's not much for blood or kills, there aren't jump scares or evil creatures running around, but nothing tops it for atmosphere; between the creepy "Session" tapes that we hear playing throughout, to the music and the isolation of the asylum, this movie unsettles the viewer and by the end, you will want to turn all of the lights on in your house. I especially like the ending; was the voice on the tapes just a disturbed patient, or something more...something that drives people to murder? One of my all time favorites, and a must see for all.

See you tomorrow with #8....

The 31 Days of Horror- #10

We have arrived at the top 10!

Some Terror Tykes, a serial killer, the creepiest clown ever, and a twisted Aussie...

The 70's

The Brood (1979)- This movie is a masterpiece on many levels, and there's no debating that fact. Cronenberg is in top form here, giving us a sickening dose of his ever disturbing "Body Horror" that made up the core of his films in the 70's and 80's. A therapist creates and uses a bold new technique on his patients called Psychoplasmics, releasing their negative energies cause their bodies to undergo radical physical change, in one case, giving birth to the Terror Tikes; mutant children who kill on mental/emotional command. This movie is smart, terrifying, and one that you simply need to see.

The 80's

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)- I know that many of you reading this are saying "What the hell? This finishes ahead of The Shining and the other great flickss farther down the list?" And my answer is yes, it absolutely has to. This movie is jarring, riveting, and you will be hard pressed to find another Horror film that matches its dirty feel. The story follows Henry (loosely based on Henry Lee Lucas), and his adventures in serial killing. He kills at will; sometimes for good reason, sometimes for the sheer joy of it; sometimes with a partner, sometimes he kills his partner. Watching this movie feels like you're watching a hidden camera recording of murder... a slow, drawn out murder, that makes you look away because you just can't take any more. Henry will make you feel dirty, and will also make you fear all strangers. CLASSIC.

The 90's

It (1990)- A mini series? In the top 10? Listen up, clowns are scary. This is one of Stephen King's best stories, and one of his finest hours... er, 6 hours... ever put to film. This movie, a story about friendship and kids kicking some clown ass, gave us one of the creepiest and most memorable Horror baddies ever; Pennywise the clown. You're lying if you say you don't get the chills when he says "We all float down here, Georgie." Either that, or you're more of a man/woman than I'll ever be. Probably the second one... The point is, this is a great movie, and although the ending was a bit anti-climactic to me (the clown was WAY better than the final "Monster") this is a must see piece of horror history.

The 2000's

Wolf Creek (2005)- I can't help but love this movie in every single way. Loosely based, and I mean very loosely based on the story of Australian serial killer Ivan Milat, Wolf Creek is harsh, unrelenting, and ultimately a disturbing piece of film. When I first saw this one, I couldn't believe that certain things I thought would happen, didn't, and things I knew couldn't happen, did. The old "head on a stick" gag will never completely leave my mind after seeing it. I'm proud that a newer Horror movie has left this kind of impression on me, but then again, it wasn't made in Hollywood, so of course it had substance. Australia scares me!

See you tomorrow with #9...

The 31 Days of Horror- #11

We are one movie away from the top 10 of all time!!! What will they be?...

Fulci zombies, Redrum, a hobbling, and a French mind-f**k...

The 70's

Lucio Fulci's Zombie (1979)- According to many, this is Lucio Fulci's masterpiece. Banned in several countries because it was so excessively violent, Zombie (or Zombi 2 overseas) gave us a few of the most memorable scenes in Horror History; A zombie fighting a shark underwater; A mass of zombies walking across the Brooklyn Bridge; and most famous of all, the eyeball gouging scene, involving a closeup of an eye and a splintered piece of wood. The Zombies look great, the music adds to the typical Fulci atmosphere, and overall, this is one of the best Zombie epics ever made.

The 80's

The Shining (1980)- Not only was The Shining written by insane-genius Stephen King, directed by insane-genius Stanley Kubrik, and starred insane-genius Jack Nicholson as a man driven slowly insane by ghosts, but it was one of the most culturally important Horror films of it's time. "Here's Johnny!", "Redrum" and "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" are all phrases that caught on in the mainstream, and have been repeated many times since, the world over. Also, Room 237 and the twins in the hallway gave us two of the most terrifying and memorable Horror scenes ever. A classic in every sense of the word, though very different from the book, this movie belongs in every Horror collection, if only as a study of Kubrick's mad genius.

The 90's

Misery (1990)- How in the world can Kathy Bates be terrifying? Easily; imagine her kidnapping you, drugging you, making you her "lover", and hobbling your ankles with a sledgehammer. Annie Wilkes is one of the most terrifying characters of all time, even earning Bates an Oscar for best actress for her depraved portrayal. Many look at this film as a thriller or drama, but make no mistake, this is Horror of the psychological kind, even if Rob Reiner did direct it. If you fear stalkers or the thought of being kidnapped by unattractive middle aged women, this one will make you cry.

The 2000's

Haute Tension (2003)- Many people poo-poo this movie because of its "twist" ending. While I didn't particularly like the ending either, I can't ignore the brilliance of this film. I got this one on region 2 DVD before it came out here, and when I watched it, I was blown away by the sick and unrelenting blood and gore, and the fact that it was actually a well made movie. It was something that American Horror hadn't given us in quite some time. The French have been on a twisted role this decade, bringing us a bunch of messy, well made, and disturbing Horror flicks, and this is the one (in my mind) that began it all. Not for the squeamish.

See you tomorrow with the beginning of the top 10!!!!

Review: A Joyride 2, Feast 2 & Pulse 2 Triple Feature!

What a treat... the Direct-to-DVD sequel market is alive and well! I have no energy to do 3 separate reviews for these flicks, so were going to do one quick post covering all of them. First up: 

You know, this one wasn't all that bad; it was pretty well-made; the story was decent enough, although nothing its we haven't seen a hundred times before; and Nikki Aycox looked hot throughout. 

Overall, I wasn't as angry or disappointed in this one as I thought I'd be.

That being said, decent is about all this movie gets to be called. I really hate these types of Horror movies; annoying tween characters get themselves into horrible situations because they're morons, and once they're in said situations, they continue to act so illogically, that by the end of things, I'm yelling "please kill them!" out loud to my TV. 

Seriously, if 4 asshole kids broke into my house, and stole my mint condition classic muscle car, I would have hunted them down too.

 

This movie is one of those that I can take or leave; a fun watch, a decent movie, but after all is said and done, it's painfully average. Rent it before you buy it.
 

She is the best thing about Joyride 2

Is this movie trying to be The Devil's Rejects? It sure is f'd up and bloody enough, but try as hard as it might, I'm not buying into the whole Tarantino-esque thing they're going for here.

Where the first Feast was fresh and quirky enough to work for me, this one seems like it's trying to over-stylize and out-quirk its predecessor at every turn.

I really liked the first one, as imperfect as it was, because it was still good in many ways. Conversely, Part 2 was just as bad in many ways.

I've seen worse, but then again I've seen far, far better, too.

Is this what The Weinsteins (producers on this one) have come to? Wow, this movie sucked so bad that you can clearly see the use of green screen going on, for what is nearly the whole running time. What a mess.

Poor CGI, lame plot, lame acting, and of course, the ever ball-sucking-lame "jump scare" ending! 

What is the point of this movie? Was there a clamoring by the masses to see a continuation of the first Pulse (which was a remake by the way, and a mediocre one at best), or did the story just beg to be told once more? Ugh. Pointless, pointless, pointless.

Watch this if you have shitty taste, otherwise, do yourself a favor and watch something else.

The 31 Days of Horror- #12

The worst X-mas ever, some fog on the moors, gay vampires, and some rock-climbing women...

The 70's

Black Christmas (1974)- Bob Clark gave us so many good movies; Porky's, A Christmas Story, Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things, and this, one of the first and best "Slasher " flicks. This is a pretty great movie for being 25 years old, and one of the first to give us the "sorority girls being picked off one by one" angle; also, this movie did the whole "caller in the house" thing first too. It's not very bloody, but it's fairly creepy and a bit demented, and worth having in any Horror collection.

The 80's

An American Werewolf in London (1981)- This is my second favorite Werewolf movie ever, although many say it's the best. Either way, it's an amazing movie, with some of the best transformation FX you'll ever see. Kinda comedy, mostly Horror, this movie is just plain old fun, and it has its creepy moments too. You really should own this one, or at the very least, see it as soon as possible.

The 90's

Interview With the Vampire (1994)- Despite the massive homosexual overtones in this movie, I find myself loving it. Don't get me wrong, I'm down with the gays, but I'm just not used to seeing the subject matter explored in Horror movies. It was an especially bold move for Hollywood in the 90's. I think this is pretty much a classic Vampire story; the romantic aspect, plenty of blood and biting, drama, intrigue... and Tom Cruise before he went bat-shit crazy! I wasn't a fan of the books, or the crap sequel, but his one is the goods.

The 2000's

The Descent (2005)- A bunch of chicks that decide to go cave exploring get trapped far underground and are set upon by a bunch on mongoloid mutants... how can you not love that? This movie is dark, and at times hard to see, but it's really effective and worth straining your eyes for. It was a pretty fresh idea in a decade where remakes seem to rule the Horror world, and I'm glad they're making a sequel. *Addendum: the sequel ended up really sucking bad.

See you tomorrow with #11...