Theatrical Review: Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)

(aka Further Adventures into the Further)
Release Date: June 5th.
Country: USA
Rating: PG-13
Written by: Leigh Whannell.
Directed by: Leigh Whannell.
Starring: Lin Shaye, Stefanie Scott, and Dermot Mulroney.

It's about time that Leigh Whannell directed a movie.

It's hard for us to believe that with all of the great Horror properties that he's had a hand in in creating over the past decade or so (he wrote Saw 1-3 (produced 2-7), Dead Silence, all of the Insidious movies, & Cooties) that this is his first time behind the camera.

In an attempt to contact her recently deceased Mother, young Quinn Brenner goes to medium Elise Rainer for help. Even though she sympathizes with the girl, Elsie is initially hesitant to help Quinn, because every damn time she contacts the dead, the evil spirit of the Bride in Black tries to kill her. So, instead of trying to help her, she warns Quinn not to fuck around with the spirit world, and makes her leave. Sounds sensible to us.

WE ALL KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT GOOD INTENTIONS...

Of course Quinn ignore Elise's advice and continues to call out for her dead Mother, which draws the evil spirit of an old man with a severe case of emphysema to her (they have illness in the afterlife?) As the being repeatedly terrorizes and tries to kill Quinn, Elise eventually comes back into the picture, deciding that she just has to help the poor girl. You didn't really think that she was going to sit on the sidelines for very long, did you?

SHE SHOULD HAVE STAYED ON THE SIDELINES.

Armed with a new-found sense of courage and her special gift, Elise travels back into The Further to do battle with The Man Who Can't Breathe, The Bride in Black, and all sorts of other ill shit, in order to save Quinn's very soul. Also, Specs and Tucker show up to help.

A most welcome sense of familiarity ensues.

PEEK-A-BOO? NOW?

Insidious: Chapter 3 ended up being far better than we expected it to be. I think for us that it was the fact that the characters were all written to be genuine and likable that made this one work so well for us. Even though they did some stupid things, we bought into the reasons for them doing so, and we couldn't help but pull for them. That's all due to the writing of Leigh Whannell, which we have always found to be fairly strong.

Whannell does a god job with this movie, especially considering that this was his first time directing the action in something that he created. He's no James Wan (at least not yet), but you can see that he has a solid grasp on what makes a Horror movie effective, and he certainly knows how to scare his audience. The entire sequence where The Man Who Can't Breathe shows up in Quinn's room (and proceeds to try to kill her) was masterfully done, and had us on the edge of our seats. I'm sure he'll direct again, and that is a good thing.

As likable as Quinn was, and as good of a job as Stefanie Scott did playing her, this movie belonged to Lin Shaye's Elise. Shaye has had a very long career as a character actress, and it was great to see her get to play the lead role in a movie for a change. For those of you who may not know, Lin Shaye is Hollywood royalty of sorts; she's the younger sister of Robert Shaye (the guy who founded New Line Cinema.) In some small way though, she will always be the creepy landlady from Kingpin to us.

THIS  FRIGGING SCENE...

As creepy as the Insidious movies can be, are we really supposed to be scared by them anymore? I mean in a genuine way? Don't get me wrong, they still pack and eerie and frightful punch, but most of that comes from their smaller, quieter moments. If the climax of these movie takes pace in an otherworldly dimension like The Further though, shouldn't that be the scariest part of the whole thing? Because it's really not. The Insidious movies, and this one in particular, get less frightening every time the action moves to The Further.

It would have also been nice to get a little bit of background on The Man Who Can't Breathe, like he was a Serial Killer or Child Molester or something? Because that would have made him a bit creepier.

NOW HE WANTS TO PLAY PATTY CAKE? WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS GUY!

When the ghost lady tells you not to call out t the dead or you might attract some malevolent attention, why don't you listen to her?!?

THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!

This is a PG-13 affair, so the violence and bloodshed are minimal.

Nope.

Sometimes, the third part in a series isn't so bad. Also, Leigh Whannell is pretty good at the whole directing thing.

ROOFUS KNEW WHAT WAS IN THE CLOSET, BUT DID ANYONE LISTEN TO HIM? NO. NO THEY DIDN'T.

Insidious: Chapter 3 is a far better sequel than we thought it would be. It's well-written, contains some great scenes and performances, and despite the overuse of jump-scares, it was pretty scary. Leigh Whannell has done a solid job with his directorial debut, and it's well-worth seeing if you can still find it playing in a theater near you. If not, then this is a movie that would probably work best when you watch it at home, late at night, with all of the lights off... so there's always VOD and Blu-ray. 

B

Insidious: Chapter 3 is in theaters now.

Former Disney Princess Stefanie Scott is in this.

DVD Review: Amityville II: The Possession (1982)

(aka Demonic Incest.)
Release Date: September 24th, 1982.
Country: USA.
Rating: R.
Written by: Tommy Lee Wallace.
Directed by: Damiano Damiani.
Starring:Jack Magner, Diane Franklin, Burt Young, and James Olson.

This sequel to the 1979 Haunted House classic apparently took some liberties with its story telling, and was only loosely tied to its predecessor. At least it featured the adorable Diane Franklin; that made it way more watchable for us. Kinda.

*This review is a re-do of one we did back in 2008. It needed an update.

Finally, the story of the Defeo family is told... wait, it's the Montelli family? Well, at least the house is the same... hold on, the exterior is the same, but the interior looks way different in places. Alright, well the murders happen the same way as described in the original, and that's... no, that's different too. Whats in the hell is going on here??? this is a prequel, right?

"YOU EXPECTED THIS MOVIE TO MAKE SENSE?"

Paulie from the Rocky movies, plays the un-lovable and abusive husband of the Montelli clan; smacking the wife and kids around and demanding discipline! In a fun little coincidence, his creepy-ass son, Sonny, ends up smacking the whole family around with a shotgun, and demands death! It's all a really nice, completely accurate portrait of the American family.

THE ALL-AMERICAN KID.

Sonny has a hot jailbait sister, played hotly by the 80's-hot Diane Franklin, who is really hot (despite her eyebrows needing a good trim.) Speaking of trim, a now-possessed Sonny decides that he needs some trim, and so he sets about seducing his doting sister. Depending on which side of the Mason-Dixon Line you're on, this is either really nasty or super hot. I live in Georgia, so... Yeehaw!

I COULD EAT A PEACH APPLE FOR DAYS.

Later, Father Karras shows up, fresh off of his Exorcism in Georgetown gig, and the Direct-to-Video sequel to The Exorcist begins in earnest. No pea soup though. I won't ruin the ending for you here, but suffice it to say that by the end of the movie, we had kicked our TV screen. Twice.

YEAH, THAT'LL HELP.

All of its issues aside, Amityville II offers up some genuine moments of creepiness throughout. I personally remember this movie absolutely scaring the hell out of me when I was a kid, but it doesn't quite play that way anymore. It definitely still has its moments though.

80's QT supreme, Diane Franklin, is as much as we loved her in classic movies like The Last American Virgin and Better off Dead, we really wish that she had done more high profile movies after them. Temptress.

TEMPTRESS INDEED.

Though the movie is supposed to be set in 1974, it looks like Walkmans were invented early, and 80's cars already existed, because there they are, right on-screen. It's also obvious that the inside of the house was different in places, which irks us, because this movie is supposed to take place a year before the first one, and yet the house isn't the same.

Worst of all, it's a bit disconcerting how the movie seems to shamelessly rip-off The Exorcist too; not only because both movies have a showdown between a caring Priest and a possessed "child," but because they even did the old "Come into  me, and leave the kid alone!" bit. Sure, they did it all differently, but it absolutely smacked of the whole Father Karras/Regan MacNeil bit.

INCEST. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Brother/Sister sex. Does it get much creepier than that?

WE WATCHED THIS ENTIRE SCENE IN MORAL PROTEST. SIX TIMES.

This movie has far more disturbing images in it than it does any sort of blood and gore, but there's a little bit of that spread throughout.

LOOK, THERE'S SOME BLOOD.

There's one scene that shows Diane Franklin briefly naked, but most of it was done tastefully and teasingly. Now, the incestuous relationship between brother and sister... there was nothing subtle about that at all.

OH, THINGS GET NAKED ALRIGHT... NAKED AND CREEPY.

If you're going to make a sequel/prequel to a great movie, try not to crap all over its memory in the process.

THIS PICTURE SUMS UP THE WAY THAT WE FEEL ABOUT THIS MOVIE.

Amityville II: The Possession has some redeeming qualities, but overall, this movie is a mess: it's only loosely tied to the first movie; it makes use some obviously out of place items for its supposed time period; the ending devolves into some sort of an Exorcist ripoff, and it just isn't as scary as the first one was. It has its moments, but most of it is underwhelming.

C-

Amityville II: The Possession is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

If you were a kid in the 80's, then you know that Diane Franklin was all over the place for a brief while, and then she just kind of fade away. She'll always be one of our favorite crushes though.