Blu-ray Review: Alien 3 (1992)

"The Assembly Cut makes this one a better film."
(aka A Tale of 12 Writers.)
Release Date: May 22nd, 1992.
Country: USA.
Rating: R.
Written by: Vincent Ward.
Directed by: David Fincher.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, Lance Henrisksen and Pete Postlethwaite.

This is the bastard child of the Alien series, and I say that not because it's viewed as the worst Alien movie made (that honor goes to Part 4), but because it's actually a good flick that never got a chance to shine.

David Fincher used to direct music videos, and I mean prolifically. Throughout the 80's and 90's he helmed videos for Foreigner, Sting, Paula Abdul, Madonna, Aerosmith, and the list goes on. He went on to become one of the best film directors that we have, giving us top-notch flicks like Se7en, Fight Club, The Game, Zodiac, The Social Network, and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

His first film was Alien 3.

This movie had production issues from the start. It was re-written a few times (some of the originally story arcs were cool); Siguorney Weaver said she'd do the flick, but it had to have no guns (she's like that); Renny Harlin, the original director, quit to go make Die Hard 2; the next director was fired; and when they finally got a director to stick, the "Music Video Guy" David Fincher, the film was so bastardized by studio execs by then, that the result was a movie that didn't resonate well with most people, especially said director.

So when I decided to watch the movie again to review it, I watched the 2003 Assembly Cut, which is about as close to a Director's Cut as we'll ever see, seeing as how David Fincher has pretty much disowned the movie and wants nothing to do with it.

And it was really good.

Not long after (presumably) the ending of Aliens, The Sulaco catches fire, and Ripley, Hicks, and Newt are jettisoned from the ship in an escape pod while in deep cryo-sleep. The pod crashes on a desolate planet, with Ripley being the only survivor. A guy finds her on the beach, covered in lice, and brings her back to his home.

MAN, SHE JUST CAN'T CATCH A BREAK.

His home is a prison full of rapists and murderers, and it's soon clear that the arrival of a woman is not such a great thing. Distraught at learning of Newt and Hicks' deaths, she frantically demands that they do an autopsy on Newt's body, fearing that a Xenomorph had something to do with the crash. With all the shit that she's been though, she has a right to be paranoid.

AND THE RIGHT TO SHAVE HER HEAD.

Turns out that there is an Alien on the planet, but it's not inside of Newt. It finds a host, grows up quick, and begins to make snacks out of the prisoners. Ripley, along with a few of the "good" prisoners, devise a plan to kill the thing, and they spend the rest of the movie running around trying to survive so that they can execute said plan. Ripley also spends a lot of time trying not to get raped.

Shades of the first movie ensue.

"GIVE ME A KEEEES!"

I can finally say that Alien 3 is a good movie without cringing and feeling like I'm being overly-generous.

The Assembly Cut adds 25 minutes to the move, adding some footage, getting rid of some other footage, and the end result is a better, deeper, more cohesive movie. The first act is a way better set-up, visually, and character-wise, as far as the prisoners and Ripley go; the Alien comes out of an ox instead of a dog; the creepy inmate Golic, and his demise, get way more screen time; and Ripley's final scene is different, and way less cheesy.

It's finally a cohesive movie, and one that works way better than its theatrical counterpart. Overall it plays just like first Alien movie, utilizing the stalk-and-slash thing to deliver the Horror, but it does so pretty well, and in some places, it's fantastic.

The cast here is the real standout, with brilliant actors like Charles Dance, Pete Postlethwaite, and Charles S. Dutton making their prisoner characters anything but standard. They're a treat to watch in anything, and especially so here. Sigourney Weaver is effective again as Ripley too, but that's nothing shocking.

HE LOOKS WAY TOO HAPPY HERE...

The CGI in this movie was bad. Granted, it was made in 1992, and CGI was nowhere near what it is today, but still it's distracting to watch, even given the restraints of the time.

THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN BAD GREEN SCREEN.

The way that they wrote out Hicks and Newt was cheap and completely shitty. I know there were a lot of production issues with this movie, but you don't nullify the ending of Aliens by killing the happiness of it.

Michael Biehn was pretty pissed about it, and he deserves to be.

LANCE HENRIKSEN SHOWED UP THOUGH.

This one is way bloodier than the first two, including a messy autopsy scene. 

AND A FULL-GROWN CHESTBURSTER.

Nope, but there is some sexual content, if you want to call it that.

WHO COULD RESIST HIS CHARMS?

"You've been in my life so long, I can't remember anything else."
"I gotta "re-educate" some of the brothers!"

SO PENSIVE.

If you watch the Assembly Cut, Alien 3 is a move that is closer to being the sequel that Aliens deserved. It's still not perfect, but it was tinkered and tampered with so much by idiot hands, that it never really had a chance to be. Fincher makes the best of it though, and it's a fine addition to the franchise.

It is a shame though that we'll never get to see what could have been, had they let Fincher do what he wanted to with the film.

B- (Assembly Cut only, otherwise it's probably a C-)

Alien 3 is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

They were originally going to use a dog to play the "Dog Alien." He looks thrilled, doesn't he?

Netflix Review: I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017)

"Oddball romance and ultra-violence."

Most people probably know Macon Blair from starring in the Jeremy Saulnier flicks Blue Ruin (Review HERE) and Green Room (Review HERE). He was great in both, and it seems like he and Saulnier have a special chemistry going that we hope carries on into more films.

But did you know that he's also a writer? Well he is, and now he's a director too, as I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore marks his first turn behind the camera. I have to say that even though some of its quirkier bits irked the hell out of me (courtesy of Melanie Lynskey's character, mainly), it's a pretty damn good debut.

MACON.

Ruth is a mousy, awkward woman who is treated as second rate by everyone she encounters. She's shoved around, talked down to, and Frodo Baggins even lets his dog take a shit on her lawn. After her house is broken into, and her laptop and antique silverware are stolen, she loses her shit and decides not to be anyone's doormat anymore.

DIG THAT SAXON SHIRT.

She joins forces with Frodo Baggins (who knows karate now, and has a bitchin' pair of nunchucks), and the two of them set out to track down the robbers and get her stuff back. Of course neither of them have a clue that they are about to become embroiled in a plot that will see the death toll ring for just about everyone involved, but, they don't care. Vengeance will be theirs!

JANE, YOU NAUGHTY GIRL.

Here's the thing about this movie: It really plays like a quirky, Indie romantic drama for much of its runtime. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, because Indie movies (of all kinds) usually tend to be the ones that we love the most, but Horror fans who are looking for a Blue Ruin type of experience with this one may be a bit put off by the lack of grit.

That said, this movie picks it up in the third act in a big way, offering a finale sequence that stands with some of Tarntino's bloodiest bits, and it definitely felt like a great payoff. Which again is a problem of sorts, because the movie switches between goofball charming and darkly intense too much, and ends up feeling like two movies playing side by side. But it worked for the most part, creating something... different.

Elijah Wood has been a great actor for years, and this movie shows us why. His character is an oddball who loves karate and oozes way too much machismo for his small frame, and we absolutely loved him. His partner in crime, Melanie Lynskey, is an excellent actress in her own right, but her character in this one irked us, as her whole "awkward and mousy" act wore thin on us for some reason. That's a personal thing I guess, because she nailed her role perfectly.

The best part of this movie, aside from the awesome scene at the end, was the presence of Jane Levy. We love the hell out of that girl, and she ends up pulling off one hell of a performance in this one, even though her character doesn't speak a lot. Masked Jane Levy is still somehow sexy. and unsettling.

THAT SAXON SHIRT IS KILLING US THOUGH!

There's plenty of crazy gun violence which leads to some bloody moments later on in the film.

THAT DOG HAS SEEN SOME SHIT.

Nope.

EVEN IN A  MASK, JANE LEVY IS SEX ON WHEELS.

I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore is a different kind of flick that blends Indie romance and Indie crime thriller into one big, odd, enjoyable final product that was a fun ride to take. It's uneven at times, but Elijah Wood's crazy karate neighbor; Jane Levy's quiet cool, menacing street urchin; and that insane finale were enough to put this one over the top for us. 

Macon Blair and Jeremy Saulnier are teaming up again for Hold the Dark -which it stars Alexander Skarsgard as a wolf hunter who tracks down a young child in the Alaskan wilderness- and as big fans of both of their work, we can't wait to see where they take the genre next.

Until then, check out this one and enjoy the quirkiness.

B-

I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore is streaming now  on Netflix.

We want to live in Jane Levy's world.

Netflix Review: The Rezort (2017)

"Jurassic Park with zombies."

Yes, The Rezort is basically Jurassic Park with zombies.

Maybe that's a simplistic (and even unfair) way to describe the movie, but it's the first thing that popped into our minds once we got past the 90-minute news montage that opened the movie, and the story actually started unfolding.

I don't think that it's a bad thing either. It's actually a pretty cool concept, and so what if the filmmakers said "Hey, what if we did a movie like Jurassic Park, but with zombies, man!"

If it works, it works, and it definitely works well here.

After a near zombie apocalypse which saw mankind wage war and win against legions of the viral undead, losing 2 billion lives in the process, the world begins to rebuild itself. Part of that rebuilding involves capitalism, and the monetary exploitation of the tragic events, because that's what we humans do. That's where The Rezort comes in.

IT'S LIKE A BIG VIDEO GAME!

The Rezort is an island resort/theme park or sorts, which allows paying customers to hunt and kill zombies to their heart's content. It's all perfectly safe and well-regulated, with no real danger involved for any of the guests... until a hacker group does a little number on The Rezort's computer system, which results in the zombies being freed, and just about everyone on the island becoming food.

SHE HUNGRY.

You know the drill from here on out: there's a group of people who have to band together to survive, which includes a pretty, likable final girl; her boyfriend who might be an asshole; a slutty (we hope) blonde chick; a bad-ass who's a crack shot with a rifle; a few dumbasses who you just know are destined to die painfully; an evil, money-hungry businesswoman who you really want to see die painfully; and a few other people who are just there to up the body count. And of course, very little goes to plan.

Good times.

STICK WITH HIM. HE KNOWS HOW TO STAY ALIVE.

The Rezort was a good zombie flick. It gets a little heavy-handed with the "humans are the real monsters" vibe that runs throughout, and in typical Horror fashion, many of the characters do some truly stupid shit, but at the end of the day, this is a bloody, fun, and well put-together zombie flick.

The zombies look, and act, really cool in this one. Yes, they're the fast moving zombies which many Horror fans seem to hate, but if that ploy works for the movie, then we have no issue with it. They really don't movie crazy fast or anything, so if you're one of those fans who prefer slower-moving zombies, don't panic.

The cast did a great job here with a script that gave them some rather clunky dialogue to chew on. Jessica De Gouw, whom we loved in the excellent Aussie Apocalyptic flick, These Final Hours (Review HERE), was the perfect final girl in this one, and she's destined for big things, we think. This also may be the best thing we've seen Dougray Scott in for quite some time. We dig that guy. 

ELEN RHYS WAS A SEXY TREAT AS WELL.

The Rezort offers plenty in the way of typical zombie movie kills, and there's no shortage of bloodshed to be had here. I'm not sure what the balance between practical FX and CGi was in this movie, but it all looked pretty great and gruesome.

SEE, THERE'S SOME BLOOD!

There isn't any skin in this one at all.

THIS IS AS CLOSE TO A SEX SCENE AS THIS MOVIE GETS.

"You had the map."

AND SHE'S GOT THE GUN.

The Rezort may not be a perfect film, and it definitely tries to do more with its scattered storylines that it maybe should, but it's bloody, intense, and we loved Jessica De Gouw and Dougray Scott together. We'd gladly sit thought this one again, and we'd definitely welcome a sequel, especially given the way that it ended.

Bring it on.

B-

The Rezort is streaming on Netflix now.

Sexy survivors, Jessica De Gouw and Elen Rhys.