VOD Review: Scouts Guide to the Zombie Aocalypse (2015)

Even though Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is a Horror Comedy that had us laughing the whole way through, it's sitting at a dismal 44% on Rotten Tomatoes (not that that necessarily means anything), so it's safe to say that a majority or critics found it either just alright, or lacking.

I don't know what to tell those guys, but I personally laughed my ass off more than a few times during this one, and coupled with its explicit gore (and the hotness of Sarah Dumont), I found this movie to be enjoyable as hell.

In a year that gave us such top-notch Horror Comedies as What We Do In the Shadows, Deathgasm, Cooties, and The Final Girls, it says a lot that we found Scouts Guide to be one of the funniest movies that we've seen in 2015.

Maybe we just have simple-minded taste?

Ben, Carter, and Augie are life-long friends who also happen to be Scouts (not Boy Scouts, mind you, because of legal reasons.) Everyone at school thinks they're geeks, because it's pretty geeky to be a Scout when you're in High School, and so Ben and Carter are thinking about quitting. They want to party and get laid, like normal teens do. Augie, however, loves being a Scout, and has no intention of quitting.

GUESS WHICH ONE DOESN'T WANT TO QUIT.

After an incident at a local science place (a lab or something) turns a doctor, then a janitor, then a deer, then their Scout Leader into infected zombies, it's not long before almost the entire town is infected, except for our three Scout heroes, and a hot slut who works at a strip club called Lawrence of Alabia. And then there's the secret party full of kids including Carter's hot sister Kendall, who Ben is in love with.

ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS PICTURE WEARS A TANK TOP BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

With the Army getting ready to bomb the town to contain the infection, our heroes race against time to save Kendall, and in the process end up kicking a plethora of zombie ass... mostly by shooting them in the head. So needless to say, there are a lot of exploding heads in this one. 

WAITRESS MY ASS. GET YOUR ASS ON THAT POLE!

Yes, its plot is simple, and sure, the movie propels itself forward mostly on the power of dirty humor and exploitative gore alone, but damn it all, it was a fun movie! Funny too, and no, you don't have to be a 12-year-old boy to think so, like many critics would have you believe.

I really hate loving a movie that many critics have dismissed as crap, because it makes me feel as if I have to somehow defend it. I shouldn't have to defend a movie like Scouts Guide, because it's a solid comedy that should be able to speak for itself. Like it did for us. Because even with its issues, it was better than most.

"LET ME MEOW FOR YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE!"

Scouts Guide kind of felt like a zombie-filled, R-Rated episode of Freaks and Geeks to me; its characters were ultra-likable and well-rounded; it had some genuinely funny moments, along with a few laugh out loud scenes; the hot chicks who the geeks were drooling over were extra hot; and it even had a bit of "you're my best friend" type of sentimentality about it, even though some of that came off as a bit cheesy. We still ate it up though.

This was just a really comfy movie to kick back and enjoy. 

YEAH, THAT'S HIS B-HOLE.

The best thing about the movie -aside form the boob squeeze, the trampoline scene, the gumming scene, the cats, the awesomeness of David Koechner, and the hotness of Sarah Dumont- has to be the level of blood and gore on display. The producers made the right decision to make this one as gory as possible, because so many other movies of this kind hold back on the more visceral aspect of things, which always makes us sad.

ZOMBIE CATS. THAT MAY BE A FIRST.

The end felt a bit rushed, and could have used a few more minutes to breathe. Also, some of the movie's developments felt a bit cheesy, while others felt a bit convenient... like the way the whole "bombing of the town" subplot just kind of disappeared, or how one character just happened to show up at the end and save the day.

WHY DID THIS SCENE HAVE TO HAPPEN?!?

2 or 3 more naked zombie strippers would have been nice...

...ESPECIALLY IF SHE HAD BEEN ONE OF THEM.

There's plenty of blood and gore on display in this one, and we love that they didn't hold back on any of it. The kills in Scouts Guide were not only plentiful and explicit, but they were pretty creative as well. This is definitely Hard-R material.

"DUDE, GET ME A TWIX!"

We get to see some boobs in this one, and there's a disturbingly hilarious scene involving a penis... a long, stretchy penis.

THE WORLD NEEDS MORE PORNSTAR COPS LIKE HER.

Don't make fun of Scouts, they may just save you from Zombie Apocalypse.

IT WAS KIND OF LIKE ZOMBIELAND MEETS GHOSTBUSTERS.

As enjoyable as we found Scouts Guide to be, we have to admit that it is a bit simple-minded and predictable at times. We didn't mind its shortcomings all that much, because we just kicked back and enjoyed it for what it was; a fun, silly, raunchy, blood-soaked, zombie-filled Horror Comedy. And a great one at that.

If you're able to do the same, then you'll probably get a kick out of it too. If you saw the trailer and thought it looked good, give it a rent and enjoy.

A-

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is available now on VOD, and will hit Blu-ray & DVD on January 5th.

Good God almighty is Sarah Dumont a sassy little thing or what?

Theatrical Review: Krampus (2015)

(aka Trick 'r Treat 1.5)
Release Date: December 4th.
Country: USA
Rating: PG-13
Written by: Michael Dougherty and Todd Casey.
Directed by: Michael Dougherty.
Starring: Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner and Allison Tolman.

Like most of us, director Michael Dougherty grew up watching Gremlins as part of his Christmas repertoire, and with Krampus, that's exactly the kind of movie that he wanted to give to his fans; a dark fairytale that the kids can see, while at the same time pleasing the adult horror-lovers in all of us. 

In that, he's succeeded wildly.

On December 22nd, Tom, Sarah and the kids are getting ready for the arrival of Sarah's sister and her family, so that they can celebrate Christmas together. Of course her family are all complete jerks, and it doesn't look like it's going to be a very happy and joyous celebration for anyone, but if Christmas is about anything, it's about putting up with family members who drive you insane. And rum.

YEAH, THAT'S SOME CHRISTMAS CHEER RIGHT THERE.

In the days leading up to Christmas, amidst all of the the infighting and un-cheer, a massive snow storm settles in which kills the power, and makes the roads inaccessible; everyone trapped in the house together drives each other more and more insane; one of the kids goes missing; and then a big horned Demon shows up with his minions of evil toys, intent of taking everyone back to Hell with him.

THERE ARE ALSO EVIL ELVES AND DISTURBING SNOWMEN.

That's all we're going to say, because that's basically the plot, and to say anything more would only serve to spoil how it unfolds, but we will say that we'd welcome a sequel to Krampus every year... not that it was perfect or anything, but it was pretty damned enjoyable, and it wasn't a sequel, remake, or Found Footage bore-fest.

WHY CLOWNS WERE EVER USED FOR KIDS PARTIES, WE'LL NEVER KNOW.

From the opening credits where we see what a madhouse Christmas shopping truly is, we knew that we were going to like this movie. Horror fans are already familiar with writer/director Michael Dougherty's 2008 classic Trick' r Treat, and after having seen his latest effort, we can honestly say that the guy has that special touch when it comes to making movies; especially Horror movies that have a Holiday theme.

What Krampus does really well is illustrate what Christmas is supposed to be all about, and show us that for the wicked amongst us, there are no presents, only coal. Murderous, soul-stealing coal. The movie is a visual treat of the Christmas variety, but its characters, at least at the start, are all self-absorbed and horrible. They're missing the point of Christmas completely... until Krampus comes along and reminds them what happens to people when they don't believe.

It makes a good point without being too preachy about it. 

HOW'S THAT XANAX WORKING FOR YOU NOW, MOM?

When Krampus and his twisted little toy minions do show up about halfway through the movie, things kick into a higher, more entertaining gear. The clown, the bear, the gingerbread men, the elves... whoever designed those bad boys did a perfect job, and every second that they were on screen was fantastic.

The whole thing played a lot like Gremlins to us; kinda funny, a lot of fun, mildly sentimental here and there, and even a bit scary in parts. But fun is the order of the day with this movie.

We can't say much about the ending without ruining things for you, but I do have to say that the way it ended brought a smile to our faces. It was perfect. We loved it.

"WE HAVE SUCH CHRISTMAS SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU."

We're glad that Krampus was rated PG-13, so that it could garner as wide an audience as possible; Mike Dougherty deserves commercial success on a bigger level after giving us the brilliant Trick 'r Treat (which was not handled well at all by the studio, release-wise.) That said though, the movie really could have used a bit more of a bloody, R-Rated edge. It felt at times as it they held back on some good kills and gory moments because they opted to go the more accessible route.

Good for them though, as the movie will most likely double its production costs before all is said an done. Hopefully, it will earn even more than that.

TEDDY RUXPIN SURE HAS CHANGED OVER THE YEARS...

We wish that Krampus would visit the houses of some of the people that we know, and teach them a lesson or two. Since he's not real though, we'll just have to add more rum to our eggnog, and do our best to endure them this Holiday Season.

It's just not fair.

YOU'RE 12, KID, WHY ARE YOU STILL WRITING LETTERS TO SANTA?

Being that this movie is rated PG-13, there's not a lot of excessive gore in this one, but what we do get is pretty fun, if subtle. We're betting that there will be an Unrated Cut that shows off some nasty bits that didn't make the movie, when it hits Blu-ray & DVD.

HE NEVER SAW IT COMING.

Nope, because in the movie it's winter, and everyone was wearing sweaters. It just wasn't a Hottie kind of movie.

WE DID GET TO SEE TONI COLLETTE SLIDE HER HAND INTO A "STOCKING" THOUGH. *YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING SOUND DIRTY WHEN YOU PUT QUOTES AROUND IT.

You'd better celebrate Christmas the right way, or a monster will show up at your house will a bunch of evil toys, and take you straight to hell. That's a pretty good lesson to learn.

YEAH, JUST STARE AT IT. THAT WILL MAKE IT NOT KILL YOU.

Krampus was a great Holiday Horror movie that entertained us from start to finish. It did feel as if they held back on some gore and violence so that the movie could appeal to a wider audience with its PG-13 rating, but hey, it works really well the way that it is, so no harm, no foul.

We can always hold out hope that there will be an Unrated Cut when it hits Blu-ray.

Bottom line, you should go and see Krampus, and support the Genre that you know and love. If it keeps drawing crowds, Trick 'r Treat 2 will almost be guaranteed to have a bigger budget, and see a wide theatrical release too. Now, doesn't that sound nice?

A-

Krampus is in theaters now.

Here are a few more pictures of Krampus, to whet you appetite a bit.