VOD Review: Inside (2018)

"Tame, by comparison. Or even on its own."

In 2007, the directing duo of Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo gave us one of the best Horror movies of the new millennium with Inside (À l'intérieur).

Inside was a gory, bleak, extreme film that had us gripping our seats until the very end, and it left us feeling a bit dirty when all was said and done.

It's a modern day classic, to say the least.

This remake, however, is a watered-down disappointment that feels like it was made to appeal to a wider audience instead of actually being bold and making a statement. 

Sarah and her loving husband are expecting a baby, and they couldn't be happier. When a car accident claims the life of hubby, that happiness is ripped away from Sarah, and she's forced to face the future, and the impending birth of their child, all alone.

NOW, SHE'S JUST SAD. AND VERY PREGNANT.

Flash forward to Sarah at home, preparing for a lonely Christmas. When a shadowy woman knocks on her door in the middle of the night asking to use the phone, her Christmas is about to get a whole lot bloodier, because this woman wants her unborn baby for her own.

If you've seen the original, you know how the plot plays out. If not, go watch it now, and avoid all spoilers.

DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR, IT'S A TRICK!

As with the Martyrs remake, this Americanized retelling of the French classic Inside is lacking in many ways. Where as the original was an artistic gorefest that pushed boundaries and was soaked in nuance, this remake just feels like any other run-of-the-mill offering that hits VOD week after week these days, because that's exactly what it is.

It's a well-made little movie, but absent is the dread and the shocking visceral punch that made the original so memorable. That's extra disappointing given the fact that it's produced by Jaume Balagueró (the guy who brought us the [REC] series, and it's directed by Miguel Ángel Vivas (the guy who brought us Kidnapped.) With that kind of talent behind the camera, this remake should have been way better than it is.

Rachel Nichols does a solid job as the terrorized widow who is about to give birth and finds herself fighting for the the life of herself and her unborn child; and Laura Harring does an admirable job as The Woman who is bound and determined to cut the baby from her and make it her own, but in the case of the latter, her character doesn't ever really feel terrifying, like Beatrice Dalle's counterpart in the original. The problem is where the original played more on atmosphere, this remake humanizes the villain far too much, giving her way too many lines of dialogue that lessened the impact of the threat she posed.

And the ending... what in the hell were they thinking?

It's really hard for us to watch a remake like this and not compare it to the original. I know that every film should be judged on its own merit, but then, when a film's merit is shared with that of another, far superior film, how can we not judge it by comparison?

SORRY, RACHEL. WE KNOW YOU TRIED.

There's some gore on display here, but it all feels rather conventional, as opposed to shocking.

DON'T WORRY, NOTHING COMES OF THIS.

Nada.

WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY...

If this wasn't a remake of a beloved modern day classic, then it wouldn't be a bad movie at all. Because it isn't a bad movie. It is however a pallid remake of a movie that hit us like a gut punch back in 2008, and because it lacks the originals nuance and shock factor, it's thusly doomed to live in mediocre remake hell.

If you dig remakes though, and can view them on their own merit without needing to compare, then this movie may be worth a look for you.

C

Inside is available on VOD now.

Well, at least the movie's eye candy game was on point.

VOD Review: Radius (2017)

"As haunting as it is gripping."

High-concept movies that offer a truly unique premise are a rare thing indeed. Titles like Memento, Fight Club, or even Edge of Tomorrow come to mind as examples of movies that offer plot lines that both thrill and bend the normal lines of linear storytelling.

Radius is a movie like that. It's a small movie in scope, but its got a superb hook that can't be ignored, and its a rare film that takes its time with its reveals, and even when it feeds us some info to digest, we're left not truly knowing everything that happened.

And we didn't mind one bit.

A man wakes up on the side of the road after a horrible car accident to find that he doesn't remember who he is, or what happened. As he stumbles for help, all he finds are dead people and animals, which makes him fear that he's stuck in the middle of an airborne viral outbreak.

OH, IT'S NOT AIRBORNE.

To make matters worse, he discovers through trial and error that any living being that comes within 50 feet (maybe 30?) of him drops dead, so it's him causing the mass death all around him. He tries to seclude himself at his home so as not to kill anyone else, but the arrival of a pretty girl changes everything, when she appears to be immune to the effects of his death radius. As a bonus, as long as she stays by him, no one else dies either. Separate them though, and it's not good for anyone nearby.

WHAT A WAY TO GO...

Are the two of them connected somehow? And if so, what happened, and is there any cure for him other than to keep her close? The two of them (who eventually discover their names), will search for the answers together, although what they find might just make matters worse.

DUDE, STOP KILLING PEOPLE.

The idea of anyone coming within a 50 foot radius of you instantly dropping dead is a terrifying one, and it makes for one hell of an intriguing movie premise. Thankfully, Radius makes the most out of that unique premise, with things playing out like an old episode of The Twilight Zone.

The way that the story unfolds in this one is what truly makes it special. We know that something happened to Liam and Jane, but we never quite find out exactly what it was; "A cosmic event" in the form of lightning strike is as deep as the details go on that front. That's alright though, because as much as we wanted to a know what happened and why, it was really the journey of the two main characters that kept us at 100% attention.

As we are fed bits and pieces of Liam and Jane's memories that help us as an audience to figure out what in the hell happened to them, those memories paint a bigger picture that culminates in a reveal that was truly shocking. And pretty awesome, in our opinion. And that big reveal served to humanize the movie even more; we will not spoil it, so it's going to be hard to articulate just how it changed things, but it made the ending a bit more tragic in a way.

And that ending... well, it had an impact to say the least.

ALL THIS POOR BASTARD WANTED TO DO WAS EAT SOME GRASS.

Lots of people and animals dropping dead in this one, and there's a bit of gun violence, but it's fairly light on the blood flow front.

HE'S HAVING A ROUGH DAY.

Not that kind of movie at all.

IT MAKES US MAD TOO, CHARLOTTE.

Every now and then a smaller movie like Radius comes along and knocks our socks off. It's not a perfect film, but it's about as engaging and gripping as any movie we've seen this year. The bottom line is that if you like Sci-fi Thrillers, and if you're a sucker for a unique hook, then this is one movie that you really should check out.

Avoid spoilers, and enjoy.

A

Radius is available now on DVD and VOD.

We like blonde Charlotte Sullivan the best, but she's beautiful no matter what color hair she's rocking.

ICYMI: Our Stranger Things Season 1 Review

"The worst thing about this show is that it was over way too quick."

(aka John Carpenter's E.T.)
Release Date: July 15th.
Country: USA.
Rating: NR.
Written by: Matt and Ross Duffer.
Directed by: Matt and Ross Duffer.
Starring: Winona Ryder, David Harbour, Matthew Modine, Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, Natalia Dyer, and Charlie Heaton.

Stranger Things is a love letter to the 80's. We grew up in the 80's, so the Dungeons & Dragons gaming sessions, the infectious pop music, the rotary phones, and TV antennas felt like a snapshot of our past to us.

In a way, we were the kids in this show. We were way cooler (obviously), but we played D&D, rode our bikes all over the place, and were totally afraid to talk to girls. Alright, fine. Maybe we were awkward too, but we're cool now. We think.

Even though we're going to keep things as vague as possible, mild spoilers do follow.

Hawkins, Indiana, 1983: After a particularly harrowing all-day session of Dungeons & Dragons in which Demogorgon lays waste to the entire party when one of the players rolls a shitty 7 (all you needed was a 13!), four middle school friends call it a night and part ways. One of them, Will, never makes it home.

"HAVE FUN NOT MAKING IT HOME."

Will's mother, Joyce, is frantic the next morning when she realizes her kid never made it home, and heads off to report him missing to the local Chief of Police, Hopper. He, along with everyone else, thinks that Joyce is crazy, because she kind of is, and so they aren't sure whether to believe her or not.

I WONDER IF SHE HAS CALL-WAITING?

Will's friends are worried, and since no one else is making any progress finding him, they decide to take matters into their own hands, and search the woods for him. What they find instead is a little girl in a hospital gown with a shaved head, and a penchant for remaining silent, named Eleven.

And that's all we're saying.

YEAH, THINGS GET STRANGE.

From the get-go, Stranger Things did not feel perfect to us. The story felt all too safe and familiar; the acting was cheesy at times (calm down, Winona!); and even the cast felt odd at first, as most of the kids weren't your cookie-cutter, good-looking Disney types (which was a really good thing, btw); but man did it ever pull us into its world and keep us engaged through its entire 8 Episode run.

Stranger Things is a show that is deeply rooted in the 80's, and not just because it takes place then; it feels like E.T. and The Goonies meets The Monster Squad, with a bit of old-school John Carpenter flair thrown in to make it darker. It also had obvious nods to Alien, and it reminded us of Silent Hill more than once, so really, it's a bunch of things thrown into one big, 80's-centric pot that made us nostalgia in a big way.

Had "Steven Spielberg and John Carpenter Presents" popped up during the opening credits, it wouldn't have shocked us at all.

US, CIRCA 1983.

As nostalgic and comfy as the word of Stranger Things feels, there's a steady stream of darkness and danger that runs through it, which makes it much more than some kid-friendly throwback. The monster is real (and creepy as hell); Eleven is dangerous, and we're never sure just who she's going to take her anger out on; and the proverbial "men in black" are a real threat who kill indiscriminately to cover their tracks and get back what is theirs.

It's all very dire, and as sweet as it can be, it's all very serious.

It was also over far too quick, and it left us hanging on a few plot points that have us really hoping that Netflix gives it a Season 2. Seriously, the waffles!

IS THAT A OUIJA BOARD PAINTED ON THE WALL?

Violence aplenty in this one, but the gore factor is low.

WINONA WENT DARK IN THIS ONE...

There's a bit of sex, but nothing gratuitous at all.

THE PANGS OF FIRST LOVE ARE APLENTY THOUGH.

One of the coolest things about Stranger Things is how it uses 80's music to accent its story. It's like an awesome mix-tape. Our faves were:

Should I Stay or Should I Go (The Clash)
Africa (TOTO)
I Melt With You (Modern English)
Waiting For a Girl Like You (Foreigner)
Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart)

*GOONIES THEME SONG INTENSIFIES*

Sentimental, intense, nostalgic and creepy, Stranger Things took us by total surprise. It's one of the best things that we've seen all Summer, and we can't wait to see the story continue in Season 2. There's going to be a Season 2, right?

If you have Netflix, stream this bad boy asap.

A

Stranger Things is streaming on Netflix now.

From the I we saw her in Lucas, Winona Ryder was one of my biggest crushes as a kid. She's still beautiful today.