Screener Review: WTF! (2017)

"A decent, if very familiar, Slasher flick."

When we received a screener for WTF! in our mail, we were excited to check it out because it feels like forever since we've seen a good, old-fashioned Slasher flick. You know, a group of teens heads into the woods for a weekend of debauchery, only to be sliced and diced by an unseen killer...

Alright, maybe an "Old-fashioned" Slasher flick involves a masked killer of some sort, and this movie doesn't have that, but it does get the other key elements of the sub-genre right; boobs and blood.

For the most part.

A half-naked girl covered in blood runs out of a cabin during an ongoing massacre and screams "What the fuck?!", and our adventure begins!

Rachel, the survivor of the above-mentioned massacre, is heading to a remote cabin in the woods with her friends to drink, get high, and have some sex, which is also known as spring break. Rachel is the good girl; Bonnie is the bitchy sex-bomb; Sam is Rachel's POS cheating boyfriend; Lisa is a whore who knows Jutitsu; Jacob is a stoner; Bevan has a stupid name; and Perez Hilton is inexplicably in another movie, which defies all logic.

AN ANNOYING BUNCH, THEY ARE... WHICH ONLY SERVES TO MAKE THEIR IMPENDING DEATHS THAT MUCH MORE SATISFYING.

Of course once they start to party, they start dying one by one, because this is a Slasher flick. Who is killing them off? And why? And why won't Rachel get naked, especially when all of her friends are? And seriously, why do people keep putting Perez Hilton in movies? Far be it from us to spoil the movie for you here, because in the end, the answers to those questions don't really matter.

Low budget slasher fun ensues.

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU PLAY BEER PONG!

WTF! is a slasher flick of the lower budget, b-movie variety that is full of cliche characters, sexy girls, and bloody kills... which is really all you need from a movie of this kind. It drags early on with far too many scenes of exposition and talking, it's plot doesn't make much sense, and its ending will leave you scratching your head, but on a visceral level, it works like a Slasher flick should.

The movie jumps back and forth between the partying and Rachel being questioned by Police about the deaths of her friends, so we know from the get go that they're all doomed, which is a good thing, because just about all of the characters in the movie are shallow, vapid, and downright unlikable. They're only here to look good and die painfully, and they at least accomplish both rather well.

Rachel is about the only likable character in the bunch, and even she irked us with her putting up with such a douchebag boyfriend, or having such asshole friends for that matter, but what can you do.

YOU MAY NEED A FEW BEERS TO GET THROUGH THIS ONE.

A nail through a foot, a dick gets his dick cut off, throat-slitting, some hairspray violence, and all sorts of Slasher-y bloodletting towards the end of this one.

"OMG MY FACE, BITCHES!"

Everyone aside from Callie Ott gets naked in this one.

TEASE.

"But then I reminded him about the time I caught him face-fucking my babysitter, so yep, no work for me!"
"Jacob's Uncle Travis?"
"Jewtitsu!"

SOMEONE'S IN TROUBLE.

WTF! is a Slasher flick; you see this movie because it's full of hot chicks getting naked and offers some fun kill scenes. If you go in expecting the plot to make sense, be original, or keep you on the edge of your seat, you'll be disappointed.

Slasher fans will have fun with this one.

C+

WTF! hits VOD on August 1st.

Andrea Hunt makes us say WTF for all the right reasons.

You can check out all of the ladies of WTF! in their own Horror Hotties post, right over HERE.

Shudder Review: Lake Bodom (2017)

"The director of this movie would make a righteous Friday the 13th flick."

We love Slasher flicks. They usually tend to be a bit of shamelessly gory, nudity-filled fun, which might not be the apex of filmmaking, but they sure do tend to make for a good time.

Lake Bodom is definitely a Slasher flick, but its one that breaks the conventional mold. The teens in this movie aren't going to the woods to party and have sex, and therefore be punished for their illicit acts by an unstoppable killing machine, instead they're looking for answers to a decades-old murder mystery, which unfortunately for them, they find.

What makes Lake Bodom so enjoyable are the twists that it employs to tell its story. Because of those twists, we're going to keep the plot details as vague as possible, because to ruin them would be a disservice to you.

In 1960, three teens were murdered while camping at Lake Bodom, which is just west of Helsinki, Finland. To this day, the case remains a part of Finnish lore, as the murders are still unsolved. True story, you can read all about it HERE.

TEENAGERS CAN'T EVEN GO CAMPING IN EUROPE WITHOUT DYING!

Back in the land of narrative fiction... Two boys are looking to reenact the notorious murders via photoshoot, and they enlist the help of two of their hottie classmates to do so. Maybe it's morbid curiosity that makes them want to tempt fate by seeing if the killer is still out there (although nearly 45 years later, that doesn't seem very likely), but they're willing to give it a go anyway. Or maybe they're just trying to get laid.

Needless to say, things go very, very wrong for all of them.

ESPECIALLY THE GIRLS.

Lake Bodom is a fun and clever throwback to 80's Slasher flicks, that doesn't really rest on the laurels of that beloved sub-genre. Instead, the film subverts the trappings of the usual teen terror flick, and turns its story on its head not once, but twice, with twists that make things feel exciting and fresh. The first twist that the movie gives us knocked us for a loop, and kicked the movie into a higher, and different, gear. The second one, which sets up the finale, was good too, but it felt a bit underwhelming (and a bit implausible) compared to what came before it.

Maybe it's because some things happen and we get no answers as to how or why. 

The story doesn't always make sense, especially when it comes to the final showdown, or the time/distance constraints that the director conveniently ignores in order to have his killers show up where he wants them to at any time, but it certainly is slick and fun enough for us not to care all that much.

YOU SHOULD ALL RUN.

This isn't an overtly bloody movie, but there are a few kill scenes and bloody bits that work really well.

LOOKS LIKE SHE FOUND SOME ANSWERS AFTER ALL.

Nope, because they apparently don't make Slasher flicks like they used to.

OH MAN, WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY.

Lake Bodom may have its flaws, but it gets so many other things right that they end up not mattering too much by the end. This is a fun, well-made flick that we hope will not be the last of its kind.

B+

Lake Bodom is streaming now on Shudder.

Nelly Hirst-Gee and Mimosa Willamo are in this.

VOD Review: Therapy (2017)

"Not bad, kid."

I'm not big on video subscription service add-ons in general, but I personally signed up for a Shudder subscription just to be able to see this movie. For $5 a month, Shudder delivers a ton of quality titles to choose from, but it's really the obscure ones like Therapy that made it worth my while.

And yes, the fact that Therapy was written and directed by a 16-year-old is a pretty big selling point. Age shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but to see someone so young create something of this quality begs our attention, as it should yours.

When three vandals decide that they're going to do some French graffiti in an abandoned house, the axe-wielding maniac who stalks its hallways takes exception, killing two of them, and tying the youngest of them up, probably because he wants a girlfriend.

THAT'S PROBABLY NOT THE BEST WAY TO GET A GIRLFRIEND...

When the night watchman of the property find the bloody scene, and a box full of video equipment, it's up to two of France's finest to sift through the footage to make sense of what happened there. On those tapes, they watch as five friends head out into the French countryside to pitch a tent in a field, because that's what passes as a fun weekend in France.

FUN FOR THIS GUY, MAYBE.

The camping trip goes well until the gang hears screams in the middle of the night, and decides to go investigate them... although why in the hell anyone with any sense in their head wouldn't pack up, leave the area, and call the Police and let them go investigate the screams is beyond me. They all end up in another old abandoned building, stalked by who we can only guess was the axe guy from the beginning of the movie, and blood is shed.

Can the Cops watch through the footage in time to find and save them? Come on, this is a Horror movie, you don't expect a happy ending, do you?

RUN NOW WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE.

Therapy is a move that I wanted to be excellent, but instead, it ended up being only good. Really good in parts.

When talking about this movie, you almost have to mention the fact that it was written and directed by a 16-year-old kid, Nathan Ambrosioni. I mean, this is a professionally-made movie that has screened internationally and met with positive reviews, so his age is noteworthy here. It's especially noteworthy that at such a young age, Ambrosioni has skills behind the camera. He knows what's scary, and he knows how to put it all together into an effective package. His scriptwriting skills could use some work (his characters are thin, and there are cliches abound), but if this kid is making movies that are this effective now, I can't imagine what he'll be producing with a few more years of tradecraft under his belt.

SHE WON'T BE AROUND TO SEE THEM THOUGH.

This is a claustrophobic movie that utilizes the dark and terrifying atmosphere of its abandoned building setting to the max. Sure, the characters do some stupid shit that makes no sense, but they do it in a creepy locale, and young Nathan Ambrosioni's direction elicits enough dread to make us forgive him for writing stupid characters. The way that Therapy mixes straight forward filming and found footage together was interesting. It may not have worked perfectly (it killed the tension at times), but the way that the movie jumps back and forth between the footage, and the people watching it, kept it fresh. 

All of that said, there's a lot about this movie that makes little to no sense. How is it that the detectives were only able to process and watch a few minutes of the found footage at a time? Is France really that far behind the times? It makes for a nice plot device, but come on, is that the best that you got? And why would you enter that old, creepy ass building in the dead of night? You know the ones that the blood-curdling screams are emanating from? And why was the detective such a train wreck?

The script makes little sense at times. Ignore it, and enjoy the atmosphere.

AND WHY ARE HIS EYEBROWS SO ANGRY?!?

It has its bloody moments, most of them made up of disturbing shots rather than overly-bloody gore gags.

SHE WAS EATING STRAWBERRY PIE.

It's odd to see a French film with nothing in the way of on-screen sexuality, but then it's directed by a 16-year-old kid, so we can understand.

SHE IS NOT NAKED IN THIS PICTURE.

A C+ grade doesn't sound like much of a ringing endorsement, I know, but despite the movie's flaws, it's an engaging, claustrophobic ride that we were happy we experienced. Given that its writer/director was only 16 when he made Therapy, we can forgive him for his shortcomings.

This was an effective little flick that is definitely worth checking out on Shudder.

C+

Therapy is now streaming for free for Shudder subscribers. Click below to check it out.

All relatively unknown, all lovely.