Giallo Month Review: Eyes of Crystal (2004)

*This is a repost of a review from 2009 of a great, little-known, modern-day Giallo.

We start off with some guy has an issue with animals, as evidenced by him torturing and killing an innocent squirrel! To make things worse, he guts it, stuffs it, and puts it on a bed in his creepy lair. He then names it "Tino," and tries to teach it how to smoke Italian cigarettes. Maybe his issues run deeper than just animals?

Poor little Tino; he wanted acorns, he got torture and cigarettes.

The creepy animal hater-guy heads out and attempts to capture a pelican to torture next, when he sees a young couple scrumping in a nearby field (with some 80-year old pervert watching them while tossing one off.) Deciding humans are more fun to dismember and stuff, he sets off on a multiple-murder quest to create a human jigsaw puzzle using body parts. Males sense.

That poor boob.

Detective Amaldi is on the case though, and is determined to solve the mystery behind the serial killings... as soon as he's done banging the hot Guiditta on the regular, having coffee, smoking, playing bocce ball, standing around contemplating what to do next... a Cop's life can be crazy busy!

Will Amaldi catch the killer, or will Giuditta be next on his list? Will the ending make little sense, yet still seem to work? I won't spoil the rest for you here, because it's Giallo and there are plenty of "surprises" ahead, but I will say that I still have no clue what Eyes of Crystal means. Thank you once again, Italian Horror!

"You a no worry, we a look everyone like thees."

I really do love Gialli films, and it's nice to see a modern day Giallo handled so well.

For those who have never seen an Italian "Yellow" movie, it's basically a stylish whodunit with a Slasher sensibility. Nudity, blood, graphic kill scenes, a twisting plot, stylish camera work, and often times really interesting music make up the typical Gialli. Argento, Bava, Fulci, Lenzi, Soavi; these are some of the genre's famed directors, and they've given us some true Giallo masterpieces throughout the years.

This one is stylish and well-executed in its own right; it took me back to the 70's and 80's, and reminded me of the classics from that era that I still love to this day. It's tense and brutal, bloody and atmospheric, and kept me interested for its entire running time. Even the characters get some decent development in this one, and weren't just wooden caricatures as they so often are in these films.

If she's wooden, then she's a soft, supple wood that smells like cocoa butter and curiosity.

 

What was the point of the little boys attempting to rape that doll? And the way the mother smiled when she caught them... just wrong.

You just can't un-see some things...

Who in the fuck tortures a squirrel like that?!? That poor little thing was so scared, and he was shaking...

Feel free to kill her, but leave the animals be!

A chick gets her boob shot off, a squirrel gets murdered, and old pervert gets shot in the junk while rubbing one out in a field, and old chick loses her arms, another loses her legs... It's Giallo, so you know that there's plenty of blood and gore to be found here.

Looks like they just got done making hate.

We get some 70's style bush and some bare boobs and butts. You can always count on the Italians to deliver in this category. Well, usually.

Move your arm, dummy!

 

Killers in Italy always wear gloves. Also, animals around the world are suffering right now as we speak, and we must do something about it! R.I.P. Tino.

At least Gabagool made it, that sweet little furball.

A great modern day Giallo flick, Eyes of Crystal is very satisfying on all levels. This is the best "new" Giallo I've seen since Argento's Opera back in the 80's. Get a hold of this one on DVD and give it a shot, you won't be disappointed.

B

Eyes of Crystal is available on Import DVD.

She kisses girls.Thought it was worth noting.

VOD Review: The Hounds of Love (2017)

"A perfect movie for date night."

Australia has a knack for producing disturbing Horror movies. Wolf Creek, The Loved Ones and Acolytes (to name a few) are all great examples of that gritty, nasty, unsettling down under filmmaking that have stuck with us years after having seen them.

Hounds of Love can comfortably join that group of films as a movie that tackles a horrific subject in such a real and gritty way, that even though it's light on the more visceral aspect of Horror Cinema, it strikes all the right unsettling chords in telling its twisted story.

Knowing that it's based on a true story, loosely or not, made it feel extra nasty.

In 1980's era Perth, Australia, John and Evelyn watch a group of young schoolgirls playing netball in slow-motion, after which they give one of the girls a lift, and she's never seen again. They're a serial-killing couple who enjoys stalking young girls, and taking them home to "play with", and eventually kill.

CREEPERS, 80's STYLE.

Vicki is a young girl who is dealing with separated parents who plan on divorcing, as well as the everyday stresses of teenage life. When she sneaks out of her window to go to a party, she runs across John and Evelyn, who offer her some weed. Back at their house. Since she really likes weed, she agrees to go back to their house and score before meeting her boyfriend at the party... which she's never going to show up for.

THIS IS WHY YOU JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Chained to a bed in a dingy room, Vicki is subjected to sexual assault and all means of degrading things at the hands of John, while Evelyn enables his depravity, and washes off the bloody dildos. While Vicki does her best to survive her ordeal and find a way out, her loved ones are madly searching for her, which seems hopeless.

True horror ensues. 

WHY IS SHE LAYING ON THE WALL?

Like most movies that involve sadistic people doing horrific things to young girls, Hounds of Love is genuinely disturbing to behold. Based on the story of real-life story of David and Catherine Birnie (read about it HERE), everything here feels real, in a very dirty, uncomfortable sort of way.

Unlike most of those kinds of movies however, Hounds of Love takes a more restrained approach. Ben Young could have easily gone the exploitative route with this one, but he instead opts for the less-is-more method when it comes to visualizing the film's nastier elements, which honestly made it play far more grimy and sinister.

While Stephen Curry plays creepy extremely well here, it's Emma Booth who turns in turns in the truly brilliant performance here as the browbeaten wife of a sadistic monster who helps him torture and rape young girls, but who also struggles with the knowledge that what they're doing is wrong. To watch her play both sides of that fence at the same time was something special. Ashleigh Cummings was no less fantastic in a difficult role which saw her victimized in horrific ways, while never losing her will to live and be free.

"WHO'S A HANDSOME BLOKE?"

Torture, bloody sheets, and violence abound, but not much in the way of gory set pieces.

DON'T WANT ANY WEED NOW, DO YOU?

Emma Booth gets naked, and there's plenty of rape and sexual degeneracy, but most of it is portrayed in a non-exploitative way off-screen. And we're more than fine with that.

NOT SEXY AT ALL.

For true Horror lovers, Hounds of Love is a Must See. It's a tough watch, and one that a great many people will not be able to make it through, but in a genre that tends to aim for the lowest common denominator with many of its offerings, it's a hypnotic, horrific, multi-layered piece of art.

And it's also the stuff of nightmares. Real ones.

A

Hounds of Love is available on VOD now.

Emma Booth and Ashleigh Cummings: the gorgeous stars of this ugly little movie.

Screener Review: Killing Ground (2017)

"No more camping for us. Ever."

Thanks to the lovely folks over at the company that handles promotion for IFC, we were able to get our hands on an early screener of Killing Ground.

Although we had to sit on the review until near release date (the Comic Con news pushed it past then), we've had a week to digest the movie, and sort our thoughts out on the matter... and we've come to the conclusion that even though it's overly-familiar and not a perfect film, Killing Ground is one hell of a wicked backwoods flick that is bound to stick with you well after it's over.

Because it sure did us.

Ian and Sam decide to spend a romantic New Years Eve camping at a remote lake at the end of a long, winding, desolate road... because they've obviously never seen a Horror movie before. They're puzzled by the empty tent they find when they arrive, and at the fact that their car has a flat tire, but hell, let's stay here anyway, because nothing bad happens to people when they camp in Australia.

"SCREAMS? LET'S JUST GO TO BED."

Margaret and Rob are also camping, but with their teen daughter and infant baby in tow. They break out the guitar, smoke with their daughter, and decide to go on a hike. Another family that clearly has watched very few, if any, Horror movies.

THAT BABY KNOWS SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!

The there's German and Chook; the skeevy, whiskey tango creepers who spend their time trying to pick up girls in bars, and looking for victims to rape and murder, because they obviously have seen some Horror movies, and they know how shit works.

The real fun begins when the three storylines intertwine, in a clever way, which spells disaster for every single one of them... well, most of them anyway.

"WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA, MATE."

Killing Ground is a movie that has been done before. The whole "A group of people head into the woods for a relaxing weekend, only to be terrorized by murderous locals" plot has been done to death, but here it's not only done very well, but dare we say in a clever way to boot.

The way that the timelines for each group of characters unfold may be obvious to most people form the beginning, but damn it if it didn't ratchet up the tension a few notches, and made the way everything played out far more engaging than it might have been. Of course with the film boasting a strong script and great performances to begin with, it probably would have worked either way.

Aaron Pedersen first caught our attention back in 2014 in the criminally underseen Mystery Road (review HERE.) He chewed up the screen in that excellent flick playing a quiet, tough guy who saves the day... which made his turn here as the scumbag who uses people's lives for twisted sport so compelling. The quiet menace that the guy can convey is insane, and he was a truly terrifying bad guy. If for no other reason, this movie is worth seeing to watch him work. The rest of the cast worked it out too, but he was the standout.

Of course Killing Ground is also wroth seeing because it's an effective, intense thriller that will most likely leave you shook. The target practice scene and the shot of the baby running through the woods... sweet Jesus.

THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE IN EVERYTHING.

If you travel to a remote location, find an abandoned tent, and then notice that one of your car tires is flat, can you please just get the hell out of there? Walk if you have to, but just leave?

And when a skeevy dude with a rifle slung over his shoulder shows up and asks you to take a hike into the woods with him, can you just tell him no?

Come on, people. Survival is little more than common sense!

"OI, IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING, LOVE. LET'S NOT LEAVE."

Can someone please tell us what happened to the baby? Is it still out there in the woods with Scraps? Nippy? Whatever the fuck the dog's name was?

OH WAIT, SHE'S GOT HIM...

Killing Ground is heavy on disturbing set pieces, but it's not quite a gorefest. Still, there are people being shot, and some convincing rock violence to be had.

THE LOVE SCENE.

Nope, and they even kept the rape scenes off-screen, which was a good move.

POOR GIRL DESERVED BETTER...

Yet another intense and brutal thriller from Australia, Killing Ground takes a familiar plot and does it great justice.It's not perfect (the last bit of the movie didn't feel as strong as what came before), but it's a hell of a nerve-jangling ride, and one well worth taking.

B+ 

Killing Ground is available on VOD now.

Harriet Dyer and Tiarnie Coupland; two of Australia's finest.