Theatrical Review: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017)

"It's better than RE: Apocalypse. There's that."

(aka It's Finally Over.)
Release Date: In Theaters now.
Rating: R
Country: USA, Canada, Germany.
Written and Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson.
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Iain Glen, Ali Larter, Shawn Roberts, and Ruby Rose.

The Resident Evil Series has been an uneven one at very best. The first one (review HERE) was a fun zombie/action flick that could have been better, but entertained the hell out of us, even on repeat viewings.

The second movie sucked, and we like to pretend it doesn't exist.

Sequels like Extinction, Afterlife, and Retribution (Review HERE) got the series back on a good track and delivered all kinds of cool action, but little else, which became par for the course for the series. That's alright though, because we like big and stupid fun, and at times, we actually need it. 

The Resident Evil series exists to showcase Milla Jovovich kicking the ass of Zombie hordes, period. As movies, they're mostly kinda silly and there's basically no plot to them, but that's all by design; they've always played like Video Game levels to me, where you get some info at the start, work your way through a bunch of enemies, face the boss, and then prepare for the next level. 


And now we've arrived at The Final Chapter of the series, which we don't believe, because that's just not how Hollywood works, that the series closes out on a disappointing note.

Weeks after the events of RE: Retribution (which we honestly don't remember), Alice wakes up in the ruins of the White House (I see what they did there), and is attacked by a bat. Then, The Red Queen shows up on an old TV, and tells Alice that there's an airborne antivirus to the T-Virus in The Hive in Raccoon City that could save what's left of humanity, but she only has 48 hours to get there and release it, or all is lost. She also has a secret to tell Alice, but she's making her wait until the end of the movie to find out what it is.

ALRIGHT, MAYBE IT'S A DRAGON.

On the Post Apocalyptic road to Raccoon City, Alice discovers that Dr. Isaacs is still alive, and she runs into a gang of survivors ran by her old pal, Claire Redfield, who is also still alive. With Isaacs and his men, and three massive hordes of zombies on their tails, the gang enters the hive, where the antivirus, Wesker, and a stunning secret await them.

You've seen it all 5 times before this, so you know how it all plays out.

RUN, ALICE, RUN!

Sad as it is to say it, RE: TFC feels more like another typical entry in the series than it does any sort of finale. I mean, we weren't exactly expecting the world from this movie, because this series is what it is, but couldn't they have come up with something more... grand?

As it stands, there's a lot of action to be had here, with fights galore against evil humans and monsters alike, and if that's your thing, then it should please you. If nothing else, this movie is visually captivating.

This movie, and this series, has always been a showcase for Milla Jovovich and her sexy, crazy acrobatics, poses, and one-liners. That's a really cool thing, because she's awesome, and it's nice to see a girl of her talents be the focus of an action series like this. She's as good as she ever was in this one, and at almost 40 years old, she still looks and pulls off her stunts like she's in her 20's. With this series, she's given us one hell of a heroine in Alice, and she has easily earned her place in the hallowed halls of the Horror hall of fame by doing so.

Thanks, Milla, you rock. 

Iain Glen was his usual awesome self in this one, even though his character(s) aren't given anything of substance to work with. And of course we can't forget Ali Larter, who is still as hot as she always was, and she kicks her own brand of ass.

CAN WE TAKE A SECOND TO APPRECIATE HOW HOT ALI LARTER STILL IS?

The editing in this one is quick-cut and choppy, to the point where it confuses what we saw as it was happening. Given that this movie is packed full of action scenes, that made it a tough watch at times.

MILLA UNCHAINED.

What was with that twist at the end? Was it supposed to be shocking? This franchise has switched gears so much over six movies, that it had very little impact on us at all. Had they made this "reveal" in part three, and had it lead up to Alice's final mission in this one, it would have made it far more impactful.

YOU COULD HAVE TOLD HER EARLIER!

There's plenty of violence throughout this one, but it's not a very gory movie, per se. Standard fare for the RE series.

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

Nope. No one gets laid in a Post-Zombie world.

THE SHOWER SCENE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN... AND YOU KNOW THEY ALL NEED A SHOWER.

I know that the little wink that Alice gives the camera at the end of the movie means that she's still ready to kick some ass, but it's time to let this franchise rest. Also, Milla Jovovich has proven herself to be an ass-kicker of the highest order with the RE series, and we love her.

YEAH, WE'RE TIRED TOO, MILLA.

As a movie on its own, RE: TFC is not a very good one. It's not terrible, but they could have sent Milla out in better fashion than they did here. Resident Evil has been a fun, if hollow and imperfect, movie series, and as much as we've enjoyed its over the top craziness at times, we're glad that it's over.

Check it out in theaters if you must, but you should probably wait until it hits the VOD circuit, and go see something more worthy of your time and money.

D+

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter is in theaters now.

Milla, Ali, Ruby Rose, and Rola.

Netflix Review: What We Become (2016)

"Infection Apocalypse: Family Style."

When it comes to newer Euro Horror movies, like this one, for instance, I tend to dig them more than most of their American counterparts for some reason.

I don't know what it is that makes the average Euro Horror flick seem "better" than the average American effort, but I never feel the need to bash on them when they're lacking as much as I do the flicks that come out of the U.S.

Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe the average Euro genre movie is made with more love and skill. Or maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know.

Whatever the reason is for my recent Euro Horror bias, What We Become is a movie that I really enjoyed a lot, even though I know that it's nothing new or exciting.

As a sudden viral sickness sweeps through their Danish town, a family of four must band together to face a sweeping viral contagion that threatens to destroy them all! Of course none of them make smart decisions at all, which is par for the course for this type of film, but hey, it's hard to keep your head as viral zombie apocalypse is unfolding all around you.

WHATEVER THOSE MASKED GUYS TELL YOU TO DO, DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!

Mom and Dad try their best to keep their kids safe, but with the government forcing them to stay in their house under penalty of death, and with strangers showing up to complicate matters in various ways, there's not much they can really do.

THEY'RE MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE INFECTED THAT ARE ROAMING THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

Son Gustav at least has the hot neighbor chick to keep him occupied. Sure, maybe he would spy on her from across the street while she was changing clothes, but it's basically the end of the world, so it's not like she's going to find a better boyfriend than him anyway. And then there's adorable daughter Maj and her damned rabbit, which you just know is going to make her do something stupid which will no doubt doom them all.

FORGET THE RABBIT, KID. STAY INSIDE!

What We Become was a solid infected flick that felt a lot like the AMC show, Fear the Walking Dead in that it shows us the start of the "Zombie Apocalypse" by way of the plight of an everyday ordinary family, and their neighbors who must band together to survive. It's more of a containment movie really, as most of it involves a mysterious sickness sweeping through town, the military moving in and quarantining everyone, and then everything going to hell in a hand basket from there.

It's well-made, and it has some pretty intense infected thrills, but they come a bit too late in the movie to make it truly exciting overall. It really felt like just as the movie got going, it ended. And that ending was a fairly bleak one, with a final shot that left us wanting to see more.

SHE'S HAD BETTER DAYS.

You get some typical Infected messiness throughout this one, but it's not overtly gory.

THAT INFECTED DUDE KINDA LOOKS LIKE JOHN SNOW.

No nudity in this one, but Marie Hammer Boda sure does look good in her skivvies.

SASSY.

For a newer Infected flick, What We Become is a solid little effort that gets a lot right, even if it does little more than re-tread familiar ground. It's like eating a decent pizza even though you know that you've had better; it's still pretty tasty, because it's pizza, and you like pizza. So, yum. But you've had better.

It's well worth your time to watch this one if you've got Netflix, and if not, then you could do way worse than to rent it or buy the Blu-ray, if you need an infected fix.

B

What We Become is available now on VOD and Blu-ray.

Marie Hammer Boda is in this. She's kinda like the Danish Anna Paquin.

VOD Review: Viral (2016)

"This is one movie that really wormed its way into our hearts."

(aka Worm Flu.)
Release Date: August 2nd.
Country: USA.
Rating: R.
Written by: Christopher Landon.
Directed by: Henry Joost & Ariel Shulman.
Starring: Sophia Black-D'Elia, Analeigh Tipton, Travis Tope, Machine Gun Kelly, and Michael Kelly.

We're usually pretty skeptical when a new Blumhouse movie goes the Direct-to-VOD route, because let's be honest, a lot of their smaller flicks tend not to be so great. We were happily surprised to find though,that Viral was an above-average release for them. In fact, if they could only manage to make their output this satisfying on a regular basis, we'd have nothing to bitch about anymore when it comes to Blumhouse.

Emma and Stacey are sisters, and average teenagers in a small town, just trying to navigate their way through High School life. Emma is sweet and innocent, and Stacey is wild and rebellious, which means that they clash, which makes their already troubled home life (their parents may be splitsville) even more chaotic.

DEFINITELY OPPOSITES.

To make things even worse, a worm parasite begins infecting people and spreading across the country, turning the infected into mindless, aggressive creatures, which causes the country to break down. Cell phone signals fail, the power goes off, travelers are stranded far from home, and eventually, the Army movies in to declare martial law and quarantine the small town in which Emma and Stacey live.

BUT NO PARASITE CAN STOP TRUE LOVE.

With their parents kept out of town by the quarantine (for reasons), the sisters are forced to survive on their own. At first, Stacey looks at it like a time to party with no parental supervision, but it soon becomes clear that those days are gone, and that they're all in grave danger. Vomity, wormy danger.

Pandemic panic ensues.

SO YOU ENJOYED THE PARTY THEN? GOOD.

Viral is a different kind of Infected movie that focuses more on the dramatic impact of the ensuing Apocalypse, rather than just the usual "run, hide, die" aspects of such efforts. The movie is still plenty intense at times, and the feeling of doom associated with most pandemic movies like this is ever-present, but much like Into the Forest, the focus here is on how two young sisters deal with the outbreak and their quarantine, which made it both refreshing, and emotionally impactful.

On the technical side of things, Viral does not look like a Direct-to-VOD movie at all. Not only is it solidly written and directed, but the camerawork is clean and makes things look like they cost way more than the Indie budget that they had to work with.

We honestly thought that Analeigh Tipton was Aubrey Plaza when we saw the trailer for Viral, because they could be sisters. She's her own person though, and she did a hell of a job in this one. Her character had the most to do, and went through way more of a dramatic story arc than Sophia Black-D'Elia's did, and she was impressive. They both were.

THOSE INFECTED ARE VERY PUSHY.

What was with the infected and their little meeting? Was it some sort of hive-mind recharge session or something? If there's one thing about this movie that didn't wow us, it's that the infected had a fairly small presence, and when we did see them, we weren't sure what they were all about.

A PRAYER CIRCLE?

When your Dad tells you no boys in the house, there's a reason for it, and you listen!

Also, why would you go to a house party when your town in under viral quarantine? Don't you think that if there's a sickness moving from person to person, that being in a tight space with a ton of other people might not be the best idea?

DUMMIES.

Plenty of bloody spewing in this one.

WHY SO SERIOUS?

Nope.

FOR SHAME...

A viral pandemic can happen at any time, and if it ever does, it's going to be bloody, wormy, and messy. Plan accordingly.

WELL, SHIT.

More of a character study and sisterly relationship drama (at least in its latter half) than it was an all-out Horror flick, Viral was a solid Infection movie that allowed us to feel the ravages of a deadly pandemic on a smaller, more intimate scale. They could have ramped up the Horror a bit, but as it stands, this movie entertained us, and made us like its characters enough to be genuinely afraid for them.

It's definitely worthy of a rental.

B

Viral is available now on VOD.

Analeigh Tipton is now one of our favorite young actresses, and Sophia Black-D'Elia isn't so bad either.