Blu-ray Review: Alien (1979)

"In space, no one can hear you scream."

(aka Franchise Incoming.)
Release Date: June 22nd, 1979.
Country: USA.
Rating: R.
Written by: Dan O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett.
Directed by: Ridley Scott.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Harry Dean Stanton, John Hurt, Ian Holm, Yaphet Kotto, and Veronica Cartwright.

Alien is the seminal Haunted House picture, although it takes place on a spaceship and doesn't involve ghosts at all... the aesthetic of a Haunted House story, however, is something that is alive and very well in this movie. It's essentially a bunch of people alone in a dark and sprawling mansion, all of them trying to survive the thing that's going bump in the night.

With Alien and Blade Runner, Ridley Scott helped to change the validity of Sci-Fi movies forever. It also helped to legitimize the horror genre, giving audiences a monster movie that wasn't cheesy and that didn't feel fake. Many have tried to reproduce Alien's Gothic horror in the years since its release, but it still stands in a class all by itself.

The commercial spacecraft Nostromo is heading home to Earth when the ship's computer, Mother, picks up a mysterious beacon from nearby planet, LV-426, and wakes the crew out of their deep space sleep. They aren't happy about it all all, but since they're contractually (and maybe even morally) obligated to checkout any such signal, they head to the planet's surface to investigate.

PRETEND THIS SHIT DIDN'T HAPPEN, AND JUST LEAVE.

What they find is a derelict spaceship that has a bunch of slimy eggs in its hold, and when one of the crew members, Kane, gets too close to one of them, it opens up, and out jumps a face-hugger which wraps itself around his neck, and jams its overpositor down his throat. They rush him back to the ship for help, where acting commander Ripley refuses to let them aboard, because there's an Alien attached to Kane's face, and screw that. Science officer Ash has different plans however, and lets them in.

NOPE.

Without spoiling anything for the uninitiated (which at this point, nearly 40 years later, should be a small number, but still), the Alien feeds, grows, and proceeds to stalk the crew through the dark corridors of The Nostromo, because it's perfect organism and that's what it does.

Genuine terror ensues.

THE XENOMORPH.

What can you really say about this movie other than it's perfect?

Along with Star Wars, Alien ushered in a new era of Sci-Fi entertainment, but did so in a darker and more sinister way. It won an Academy Award, launched Ridley Scott's career, and is considered not only one of the best Sci-Fi films ever made, but one of the best films period.

The creature design is perfect and terrifying; the ship's interior and exteriors are superb; it's dark, shadowy, and oozes a creepy atmosphere; it features a great cast, many of whom were in the prime of their careers; and it gave birth to many genre tropes, amongst them: a group of people trapped in a confined space with a monster, as well as Space Horror in general. It truly changed the genre, and film making forever.

Honestly, any Space Horror flick that you've seen since, owes its existence to Alien.

Oh, and let's not forget that Ellen Ripley is also one of the best female ass-kickers in all of cinema, and no doubt inspired many who came after her, like Sarah Conner, for example.

IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU MEOW.

The movie feels a tiny bit dated when it comes to the computers and technology on display in The Nostromo. Small complaint, but it's really noticeable.

THE HORROR OF IT ALL STANDS UP BEAUTIFULLY THOUGH.

The kill scenes were fairly quick-cut, and the gorehound in me wishes that they had been a bit bloodier. Another small complaint.

PRACTICAL EFFECTS MAGIC.

The Xenomorph wreaks bloody havoc on the crew, and of course there's the all-time classic dinner scene that was so terrifying, that the actors reactions to it are real; no one told them what was going to happen, so Veronica Cartwright's cry of "Oh God!" is 100% genuine.

"HELLO MY BABY, HELLO MY DARLIN'..."

Sigourney Weaver in her undies, and the alien runs around naked for the whole movie.

IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR SIGOURNEY WEAVER'S NIPPLES SCREAM.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty."
"You bitch!"
"You... are... my lucky star."

AND ASH'S WORDS HERE WERE SINISTER AND PERFECT.

Alien is a seminal Horror flick, a seminal Sci-Fi flick, and a seminal film in general. It upped the ante on Haunted House flicks, creature features, and Horror films in general, and has seldom been matched for quality in the 38 years since its release.

Perfection.

A+

Alien is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.

Sigourney Weaver was quite a dish back then... and later in life too, as it turns out.

VOD Review: The Devil's Candy (2017)

"Unsettling, headbanging greatness."

(aka The Haunted Guitar.)
Release Date: March 17th.
Rating: R
Country: USA
Written and Directed by: Sean Byrne.
Starring: Ethan Embry, Shiri Appleby, Pruitt Taylor Vince, and Kiara Glasco.

Way back in 2009, writer/director Sean Byrne gave us his first film, and one that we consider to be a modern-day classic, The Loved Ones (review HERE.) Why it took him 7 years to follow that up with The Devil's Candy, I have no idea, but after seeing his sophomore effort, I have no problem with him taking another 7 years to make his third movie, because he apparently knows what he's doing.

*There might be very mild spoilers below, but I'll keep the plot details to a minimum so as not to spoil.

To escape the Satanic whispers that echo throughout his head, urging him to do bad things, a creepy guy plays the same note (or maybe it was 2?) on a Gibson Flying V guitar over and over again, at maximum volume. Pissed off in that he's dong this in the dead of night, his sister threatens to tell their Dad on him, and he beats her to death.

ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS ROCK (FOR SATAN.)

Enter a family of there who are looking to buy the house where the heinous act took place. Ethan Embry is the long-haired, tatted, heavy metal-loving Dad, Jesse, who is also a brilliant painter; Kiara Glasco is his headbanger-in-training daughter, Zooey, who you can tell thinks he's the coolest thing ever; and Shiri Appleby is the Mom, Astrid, who loves them both, but doesn't quite share their love of Metallica and Napalm Death. They get the house on the cheap, which has a big barn for Dad to work in... and also an evil presence which causes him to black out and paint some gruesome images of screaming children and upside down crosses.

CREEPY OR NOT, ART IS ART.

When the creepy guy from the beginning shows up at the house, telling them that he needs to come home so that he can play his music loud for Satan, it's apparent that things are about to go from creepy to dangerous, and that somehow, the Devil will get his due. He always does.

UNDER SATAN'S SPELL?

From the beginning, this movie does two different things: it sets a dark and brutal tone with its opening scene, which carries on throughout the entire movie; and it makes us really love the family of innocents that are about to be pulled into a nightmarish scenario. In some ways, this movie had the same vibe about it that last year's The Blackcoat's Daughter (review HERE) did, in that a quiet, eerie, dread-filled fog hung over many of its scenes, creating a unique and uneasy atmosphere.

That family dynamic at work here is what makes the movie work so well though. There's no forced family drama between any of them, which is a massive plus for us, seeing as how the kids in these kinds of movies always tend to be moody and edgy to the point of us hating them. No, this family, while not perfect, loves each other, and they make us like them... which makes watching what they go through especially harrowing.

Ethan Embry. What do I say about this guy? With movies like Dutch, Empire Records, and Can't Hardly Wait, he established himself as the likable, funny kid, but somewhere in the mid 00's, he started showing up in movies like Vacancy, Cheap Thrills, and The Guest (not to mention playing Declan in the excellent, Brotherhood), and we really got to see his range. His performance in The Devil's Candy is so natural and good that it felt like, at least from our perspective, this was the role that he was born to play. Like Jesse is who Ethan Embry is in real life; a cool dude to hang with. He just rocked this one.

And let us not forget the awesome Pruitt Taylor Vince, who has made a career out of playing quirky and creepy characters, because he was about flawless here too. Play a terrifying character who kills kids for Satan, and still make us feel some sympathy for him? That's talent. And for someone so young, Kiara Glasco seems like someone who is in control of her craft. Add Shiri Appleby to the mix, and this is a cast that took some already great material, and elevated it with their performances.

HEAVY METAL BRINGS FAMILIES TOGETHER.

What was the deal with Tony Amendola's character? Was he another of the Devil's emissaries, sent to tempt Jesse with "fame and fortune" at exactly the right time? We need answers!

ANTI-JESUS JUICE?

Pruitt Taylor Vince has always given me nightmares. For real.

OH, THERE WILL BE NIGHTMARES.

There's more violent and disturbing actions in this movie than there is overt bloodshed, but the blood and gore that is present feels like it was more than enough.

IT'S JUST A FINGER. RELAX.

Ethan Embry spends a lot of time shirtless in this one. 

THE JUXTAPOSITION OF THOSE CROSSES...

Any move that opens with Metallica's Am I Evil, and closes with For Whom the Bell Tolls is 100% our kind of flick. Heavy metal lovers will dig the hell out of this movie.

YOU DON'T JUST SMASH A GIBSON FLYING V LIKE THAT!

The Devil's Candy is a creepy and intense movie that is anchored by a top-notch performance or two, and given a solid layer of substance by focusing on its characters, which is something that you don't see very often in genre flicks like this, or at least not this well done.

This is absolutely a contender for movie of the year already, and while I have no doubt that plenty of other great ones will come along and dazzle us in different ways, The Devil's Candy is not one that we'll forget.

A

The Devil's Candy is in limited theaters, and is available on VOD now.

Shiri Appleby is still as lovely as ever, and Kiara Glasgow is bound to be a Hollywood beauty for years to come.

Theatrical Review: Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

"This is how you make a theatrical Horror movie in 2016."

Back in 2014, Blumhouse Productions gave us Ouija (review HERE); a decent supernatural yarn that most people shit on, but that we didn't hate. As bland and formulaic as it was, it got enough things right to keep us entertained.

Two years later, they've given us Ouija: Origin of Evil; a sequel that no one in their right mind wanted. Given the fact that the first movie wasn't stellar, and that the trailer for this prequel made us cringe a little bit, we figured that this new Ouija movie was destined to make our Worst of 2016 list...

But holy shit, it was actually a pretty damned good movie.

Alice Zander is a widowed mother trying to support her two young daughters in 1967, and she does so as a medium who contacts the spirits of the dead to bring their loved ones a sense of closure. Of course it's all a scam (because it ALWAYS is), but it's not like Alice is doing it to bilk people out of money. No, she actually likes giving people the closure they need. So, she's shady, but for a really good reason.

OH, PEOPLE, WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN...

Grieving the loss of their father, daughters Lina and Doris help their mom with her business, but wish there was a way to contact his spirit, because they need closure too. When Lina comes across a Ouija board at a party, she convinces mom to start using one in her readings, which she does, but while testing it out, she contacts some creepy spirit that latches onto youngest daughter Doris.

REMEMBER THE RULES FROM THE FIRST MOVIE? WELL, MOM BREAKS #3.

As Alice and Lina begin to realize that Doris is getting creepier and creepier because she's possessed by an evil spirit, they turn to a priest at the girls' school. What he's supposed to do, I don't know, but I can tell you that they all end up in the basement where terrible secrets are uncovered, and where they'll most likely meet their maker.

It's a prequel, you know it doesn't end well.

NOPE, NOT WELL AT ALL.

I personally like the first Ouija movie for what it was, but if I'm being honest, it was a generic flick that wasn't all that great.

Somehow though, the guy who gave us two other movies we really liked -Oculus (review HERE), and Hush (review HERE)- has managed to make craft a solid sequel (prequel, really) to a movie that should have never been given a sequel to begin with. His name is Mike Flanagan, and let me tell you that as much as we've dug his work up until this point, the fact that he could turn a disposable series like Ouija around like this and make it respectable makes us believe that he's the real deal.

The story here is compelling; it's got some genuine emotional beats; its characters are likable and relatable; its scary in the right ways; and even though it falls back on a few typical gags (like that damn stretching mouth thing that has been in 496 Horror movies since 2010), it felt fresh and original. Or at the very least, i wasn't business as usual for a PG-13 Horror flick of this type.

The cast was solid as hell here too. Elizabeth Reaser was great as the mom not only trying to raise her kids all by her lonesome in 1967, but to save them from evil spirits to boot. Annalise Basso (who also starred in Flanagan's Oculus) is a name to watch too, as she played the typical "teen daughter" role in a completely un-annoying way, which is saying something. The real standout here though was young Lulu Wilson, who played the role of the possessed Doris with skill well beyond her years. Honestly, the kid was so good and creepy in this one that we actually want to see Annabelle 2 now, just because she's going to be in it.

YEAH, HOW MANY TIMES DO MOVIES REALLY NEED TO USE THIS SAME GAG?

Why would you ever give a kid a Ouija board?

NOPE. NOT HAPPENING.

Sure. Let's go in the basement of the creepy house to find your missing daughter who is possessed by the ghost of some evil, murderous bastard. That'll end well.

OH, THERE SHE IS.

It's PG-13, so there's barely any blood or gore, but there are some pretty creepy visuals to be had throughout.

THAT LOOKS PAINFUL.

Nope. Not that kind of flick.

MOM WAS A QT THOUGH.

We really liked the opening scene, which established the characters really well, but then there was that scene with the shadow man...

DUDE, SHE'S JUST A KID!

Ouija: Origin of Evil surprised the hell out of us by being a smart, well-made, and actually scary movie. It's better than the first movie, and if they can keep on making them like this, we'd be happy to see this series become a franchise.

This is theatrical, PG-13 Horror done right.

B+

Ouija: Origin of Evil is in theaters now.

I'm pretty sure that none of these ladies will ever use a Ouija board again. Can't blame 'em.