VOD Reveiw: 68 Kill (2017)

"AnnaLynne McCord is a sexy savage."

Until now, we thought that Trent Haaga was just a B-grade actor who has starred in movies like Sutures, Starry Eyes, and a bunch of old Troma flicks like Citizen Toxie.

But no, he's also a writer who penned two movies like  Deadgirl (review HERE) and Cheap Thrills (review HERE), both of which had a decidedly nasty bent to them. Based off of his work on those two movies alone, and the fact that AnnaLynne McCord is a walking sex bomb, we knew that we had to see 68 Kill.

Having now seen it, I'm even more baffled by the fact that AnnaLynne McCord isn't a bigger star, because she's hell on wheels in this one.

Chip is a shit-shoveling loser whose insanely hot, whiskey-tango girlfriend, Liza, wants more out of life than living in a trailer and struggling to make ends meet. That "making ends meet" part involves her having sex with guys for money, which Chip isn't exactly thrilled about, so the two of them hatch a plan to rob her sugar daddy for $68,000, which will put them on easy street. I'm not sure how 68k puts anyone on easy street, but hey, times are tough.

YEAH, SHE INSPIRES THOSE KINDS OF SICK, LONGING LOOKS IN PEOPLE.

Of course the robbery goes horribly wrong when Liza reveals her insane, murderous true self, and she and Chip are forced to kidnap a girl named Violet who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. No worries though, because Liza plans to sell her to her way-creepy brother, who makes Liza look like an angel by comparison.

OH GIRL, YOU NEED TO RUN.

Chip being the nice guy that he is though, isn't sure that the he can let sweet Violet suffer such a cruel fate, and so things go from bad to worse to WTF! as he tries to do the right thing and not become a degenerate like everyone around him.

Crazy, bloody twists and turns ensue.

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.

This movie is basically about a likable guy who has a crazy girlfriend, and all the shit he has to go through to get rid of her... and that shit is all pretty bloody, twisted, and insane.

The script is what makes this movie so good, that and the actors. As for the written part, yes, this world of 68 Kill is crazy, over-the-top, and more than a bit twisted, but it's populated by genuine people who all feel real, instead of merely being the type of goofy caricatures that tend to populate these types of movies. In a movie that features three prominent female characters, it's nice to see that it was written deftly enough not to feel like male bashing was the intent too, given the amount of shit that Chip had to suffer through.

AnnaLynne McCord is brilliant as the sociopathic sex kitten, Liza. I say brilliant because she doesn't play her in a cartoonish, over-the-top way the whole time, but instead brings a realistic vulnerability to her that makes her sympathetic, and even likable. And man, is she ever ridiculously sexy. Matthew Gray Gubler is equally impressive as lovable loser Chip. He usually tends to play likable guys, and here he just comes off as extra likable as a guy who can't seem to catch any sort of break, and you can't help but feel for him. It's nice to see him in something other than a predictable, case-of-the-week TV show for a change.

The real revelation for us though was Alisha Boe as Violet. Equal parts of sweet and sinisterly sassy, Violet was a nice romantic interest for Chip, and Boe played her perfectly. The girl has a bright career ahead of her.

SORRY, BUT WE'RE NOT CRIMINAL MINDS FANS ANYMORE.

There is no shortage of bloody action in this one, in true grindhouse fashion.

68 KILL INDEED.

As twisted and sexually-charged as 68 Kill is, it doesn't get gratuitous at all with the nudity.

DON'T HAVE TO TELL US TWICE.

"You shovel shit for a living, I suck dick!"
"Ain't too often you get a sweetie like that offer up her pooper, no questions asked. Man, I been tryin' to get that."

IT'S ONLY 68 GRAND. RELAX!

I could easily dismiss 68 Kill as a B-grade, grindhouse wannabe that relies on shock to thrill its audience, but then I'd be doing a disservice to a smart script and a great cast who played some lively characters, and that would not be fair.

This is a twisted and fun flick that we ended up liking WAY more than we thought we would, and if you like darkly comedic thrillers steeped heavily in the trappings of noir and grindhouse goodness, then you should give it a go.

B+

68 Kill is available on VOD now. 

AnnaLynne McCord rocks our socks.

VOD Review: The Lure (2017)

"It ain't easy being a teenage mermaid."

Mermaids have long been a terrifying concept. Beautiful half-fish/half-woman creatures who sing their gorgeous songs to lonely sailors in an effort to see their ships crash into rocks, or eat them. Presumably both. That is the stuff of dark legend.

A movie like The Lure mixing that already terrifying legend with the equally terrifying legend of the whims of the teenage girl sounds like double the carnage to us. Add in some poppy, Polish new wave music, and you have a movie that is every bit as captivating as the most lyrical siren song.

But damn is it weird.

A band called the Figs n' Dates is relaxing on a beach, playing some music and just enjoying whatever the hell there is to enjoy in 1980's Poland, when two mermaids pop out of the water and captivate their hearts and minds. The mermaid sisters, Silver and Golden, decide to join the band instead of eating them, which given the music, is kind of a bummer. So they all head to a gaudy strip club in Warsaw to make music together, and get naked.

APPARENTLY, THE AGE OF CONSENT FOR MERMAIDS IN POLAND IS 12.

Silver is the sweet mermaid sister. She longs to live a more human life filled with sex, cigarettes, and love. Golden is the bad girl, who just wants to rip people's throats out, devour them, and return to the sea. She also likes sex and cigarettes too, but it's 1980's Warsaw, so that's to be expected.

AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A WARSAW PARTY.

The sisters become so popular that they start their own band called The Lure, and even though they're loved by their fans, the whole eating people vs. finding love thing causes a rift between them. Needless to say that people get eaten, tails get fingered, and we're pretty sure that the filmmakers slipped us acid right before we watched this one.

Musical numbers, nudity, and mermaid violence ensues.

THE FINAL BOW.

Every so often, a movie comes along that just confounds the ever loving shit out of us, and The Lure is exactly that kind of movie.

It's a Horror movie, about a pair of mermaid sisters who decide to come ashore to feed on human flesh. It's also a musical that offers some surreal and weird numbers that are oddly hypnotic. It's also a coming-of-age film that showcases both the delicate nature and voracious cruelty that is the teenage girl.

It's bold and it's very out there with its visuals, storytelling, and the way that its musical numbers play out, but at the same time it's a bit of a tonal mess. And it's frustrating to watch at times, like a train that stops and starts over and over again, blaring loud, cheesy music and dropping balloons and confetti on its passengers each time it stops.

The mermaids also look cool and realistic, and the actresses playing them get the whole angsty/emotionally vulnerable thing right on.

SHE ABOUT TO GET EATEN.

The mermaids feed, and humans bleed.

AND SHE'S THE SWEET ONE...

Lots of nudity in this one, including naked teenage mermaids, mermaid vaginas, an inter-species lesbian scene, and a WTF-like breastfeeding scene.

It's... different.

LOOK, BUT DO NOT TOUCH!

I have to admit that as odd as it was to watch this Horror Musical at times, that some of the music was pretty damned good. Don't ask me to tell you what the songs were, because they're in Polish, but the heavy metal number along with the one where the girls are dressed up like Diane Lane in The Fabulous Stains were the standouts.

THAT RETRO, NEW WAVE LOOK THO...

Is The Lure a good movie, or is it a tedious exercise in oddity and shock? Well, that depends on how much you appreciate truly bizarre movies with an exploitational bent. Good or not, I have to say that it's a mesmerizing movie, and one that hits the right notes more often than not, even if we have no clue what in the hell the overall song is supposed to be about.

It's worth watching, if you like the weird turned up to 11.

B+

The Lure is available now on VOD, and it hits Blu-ray & DVD on October 10th.

We've fallen under the spell of Michalina Olszanska's siren song. Mermaid song. Whatever.

VOD Review: The Hounds of Love (2017)

"A perfect movie for date night."

Australia has a knack for producing disturbing Horror movies. Wolf Creek, The Loved Ones and Acolytes (to name a few) are all great examples of that gritty, nasty, unsettling down under filmmaking that have stuck with us years after having seen them.

Hounds of Love can comfortably join that group of films as a movie that tackles a horrific subject in such a real and gritty way, that even though it's light on the more visceral aspect of Horror Cinema, it strikes all the right unsettling chords in telling its twisted story.

Knowing that it's based on a true story, loosely or not, made it feel extra nasty.

In 1980's era Perth, Australia, John and Evelyn watch a group of young schoolgirls playing netball in slow-motion, after which they give one of the girls a lift, and she's never seen again. They're a serial-killing couple who enjoys stalking young girls, and taking them home to "play with", and eventually kill.

CREEPERS, 80's STYLE.

Vicki is a young girl who is dealing with separated parents who plan on divorcing, as well as the everyday stresses of teenage life. When she sneaks out of her window to go to a party, she runs across John and Evelyn, who offer her some weed. Back at their house. Since she really likes weed, she agrees to go back to their house and score before meeting her boyfriend at the party... which she's never going to show up for.

THIS IS WHY YOU JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Chained to a bed in a dingy room, Vicki is subjected to sexual assault and all means of degrading things at the hands of John, while Evelyn enables his depravity, and washes off the bloody dildos. While Vicki does her best to survive her ordeal and find a way out, her loved ones are madly searching for her, which seems hopeless.

True horror ensues. 

WHY IS SHE LAYING ON THE WALL?

Like most movies that involve sadistic people doing horrific things to young girls, Hounds of Love is genuinely disturbing to behold. Based on the story of real-life story of David and Catherine Birnie (read about it HERE), everything here feels real, in a very dirty, uncomfortable sort of way.

Unlike most of those kinds of movies however, Hounds of Love takes a more restrained approach. Ben Young could have easily gone the exploitative route with this one, but he instead opts for the less-is-more method when it comes to visualizing the film's nastier elements, which honestly made it play far more grimy and sinister.

While Stephen Curry plays creepy extremely well here, it's Emma Booth who turns in turns in the truly brilliant performance here as the browbeaten wife of a sadistic monster who helps him torture and rape young girls, but who also struggles with the knowledge that what they're doing is wrong. To watch her play both sides of that fence at the same time was something special. Ashleigh Cummings was no less fantastic in a difficult role which saw her victimized in horrific ways, while never losing her will to live and be free.

"WHO'S A HANDSOME BLOKE?"

Torture, bloody sheets, and violence abound, but not much in the way of gory set pieces.

DON'T WANT ANY WEED NOW, DO YOU?

Emma Booth gets naked, and there's plenty of rape and sexual degeneracy, but most of it is portrayed in a non-exploitative way off-screen. And we're more than fine with that.

NOT SEXY AT ALL.

For true Horror lovers, Hounds of Love is a Must See. It's a tough watch, and one that a great many people will not be able to make it through, but in a genre that tends to aim for the lowest common denominator with many of its offerings, it's a hypnotic, horrific, multi-layered piece of art.

And it's also the stuff of nightmares. Real ones.

A

Hounds of Love is available on VOD now.

Emma Booth and Ashleigh Cummings: the gorgeous stars of this ugly little movie.