Review: Amer (2010)

*Limited and Foreign lease in 2009/2010, American DVD 2011.

I think it's fair to say that Amer is a divisive film. On one hand, lovers of film will bask in its stylish glory, because this movie oozes visual pleasure like few others I've seen. Giallo lovers will also be like a cat in heat with Amer, as it absolutely takes Horror fans back to the Gialli favorites of decades gone by, with its music, pacing, color pallet, and not so subtle nuance. Some of it even reminded me of old school Argento.

On the other hand, I can absolutely see how the average film-goer will take issue with its meandering and metaphor-riddled plot, the utter lack of dialogue throughout most of its running time, and the nagging feeling that they just watched a pretentious Art House movie that really didn't accomplish anything. So which is it? Brilliant or pretentious? Well, it's both.

Brilliantly pretentious.

Put simply, Amer is the story of girl/teen/woman named Ana, which is divided into three parts; the first shows Ana as a child, the second shows her as a teen, and the final section shows her as an adult.

 In the first part of the movie, Ana is a little girl living in a big creepy mansion with her parents and grandparents. Her grandfather dies, her mom is a bit of a bitch, and her dad just wants to get laid. The best part of this section of the film is the shadowy figure in black. Graziella, whom I'm guessing is her grandmother; she lives in the room next door to Ana and appears to be a witch. She peeps through keyholes at Ana, put salt under her bed, and follows her around the house, shrouded in black lace, and basically terrifying the living shit out of her. Ana is obviously a disturbed little kid, with a creepy family. 

Don't go up there. You know what Mommy and Daddy are doing...

In the second part of the film, a teenage Ana and her mom walk to the store. Everyone stares at them either like they're a couple of whores, or like they're making rape plans for both of them in their minds.

In the final part of the movie, Ana is a grown woman, returning to her childhood home, which now stands dilapidated and abandoned. A shadowy figure is waiting for her... in the shadows... to follow her around like her own shadow. Shadow, shadow shadow... it had to be done. Things get bloody as Ana does her best to evade her tormentor, but is forced to confront them in a stunning climax of... well, there really wasn't much of a climax.

Methinks Ana's shadowy assailant want to unbutton that shirt.

Amer is a gorgeous film. It's a visual and aural work of art in many ways. In spots, it's tense and creepy. In other spots, it's erotic and dreamlike. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the whole erotic thing... Amer is basically a movie about a woman coming to terms with sexuality, at three different stages of her life. As a child, she learns to associate fear with sex. As a teen, she learns the power she has over men, and isn't sure if she likes it or it terrifies her. As an adult, I'm pretty sure she's a whore, but they never really make that clear.  

Those are not the lips of an innocent girl!

Amer is also slowly paced and it meanders an awful lot. The "plot" doesn't ever really go anywhere, rather it just kind of happens and gives you glimpses of different things. There's very little dialogue throughout the entire movie, which some may love and some may hate. Amer also suffers from a bit of style over substance, which is fine, but in the end it left me feeling a little bit confused and empty. Wanton even.

Green is the color of sex?

It also bears mentioning that this movie has about 537 closeup shots of eyes; you know that we do a monthly feature here at THC about Eyes from Horror flicks, so we loved it, but damn... there were a TON! It has some good blood and gore, but very little of it and almost near the end. It's creepy, but really only in the first part, and somewhat in the final section. It delivers a strong message about sexuality and how events in our life can shape our lust and desire, at least that's what I took away from it.

To me, the whole thing felt more like an exercise in visual bliss more so than a narrative driven film.

Never a good idea.

For lovers of Film, not people that like movies, Amer may be a little slice of Heaven. For people who prefer their movies to have straight-forward narratives -or any narrative at all, for that matter- this may be an exercise in frustration. I say see it anyway, because it was at the very least, interesting and different, and maybe it will make you feel deep nd artsy for a little while.

B+

With Amer, the eyes definitely have it.

Review: Left Bank (2008)

"I really never knew that Belgium had it in them to make a good horror flick, but now I do..."

Cast Members of Note- The adorable Eline Kuppens, Matthias Schoenaerts and a bunch of other Belgian actors.

Marie is a hot Belgian track star who is training for the biggest meet of her life when she meets a mysterious and wet guy named Bob, in her local locker room. He pulls the old "hey, I'm wet and naked, got a towel?" routine, and she totally falls for it because she seems to be horny and a bit easy to get in bed.

Yes you're a whore, no sense in moping about it though.

After the two of them have sex in every way possible, she decides to move in with him, where they proceed to have even more sex in every way possible, again. I guess she just doesn't like her first dates to end? This certainly isn't going to help her win any track meets.

"Oh you silly boy, I'm never leaving... ever!"

Soon enough though, things go from blissful and orgasmic, to painful and creepy, as not only does she begin to grow suspicious of her new living arrangement with her dream guy, but she starts to secrete powder from her lady parts, and she sprouts a festering knee wound that looks like she's turning into a zombie or something. STD's are no joke. Maybe this is a good lesson about the dangers of casual sex.

Trust me, it gets way worse than that.

Is Bob some creepy killer? Are Bob's neighbor's creepy killers? Who the hell names their kid Dirk? I don't want to spoil too much more for you here, but suffice it to say that Marie finds herself in some deep doo doo from which she may not be able to escape, and the ending absolutely threw me for a loop.

Now that's one creepy little hole.

It's not hard to imagine some creepy shit like this going down in Europe. I mean when you think of the term "Old World," you have to think of Europe, and if something ancient and evil exists in the world, it just makes sense that it exist there, doesn't it? This movie plays along the lines of Rosemary's Baby or The Wicker Man, with a quiet, gloomy old world "village folk" kind of feel to it, which I really dig. This was a pretty cool movie, and aside from the ending, I was into it the whole time. It's bloody, gross, creepy, interesting, the actors did a good job, and it looks great, thanks to its Belgian locales... but what's with the babies? The theme of rebirth is obviously prevalent here, but I'm not sure as to what the whole point was as far as some of the actions that theme caused. I'll need to watch it again to straighten it all out in my mind, and that won't be so bad, because I liked it.

Is this the gateway to Hell? Hmm...

 

Ok, so was this a movie about midwives? I really thought it was heading one way, and then at the end it totally flipped itself on its ass and did something that left me dumbfounded. I don't want to spoil what happens for anyone, I'm just saying that I don't completely get it.

Was she abducted? Zing!

For the love of all that is holy, what in the hell was that stuff coming out of Eline Kuppen's cooter? Gunpowder? Don't even get me started on the hairy knee wound either. And for that matter, what's in the effing bowl ?!? WTF?!?

And what's with the archery?

There were all sorts of nasty, gross and cringe inducing things in this movie, and yet the violence wasn't over the top for the most part. Blood, puke, discharge, festering wounds, and arrow violence... neat, huh?

Thank you Belgium for delivering on the T&A, and graphic sex scenes that Horror so desperately needs more of. I'm talking full frontal nudity here, and the hot Eline Kuppens even shows her Flemish Cap! (see what I did there?) She looks pretty good all greased up and naked, that's all I'm saying.

I swear they were really doing it.

Never butt into other people's domestic violence disputes. Also, dating just isn't worth the crap you have to go through.

Then again, she is a total QT...

 

Left Bank was a really good movie, both in look and tone, and it certainly had its gross-out moments and tension-filled bits, but I have to admit that the ending left me wondering what in the hell it was all about. It was a great experience, I was just surprised to find myself scratching my head at the end, as what I expected to go down never really did. Kinda. Give it a look-see, and feel free to tell me what it was that I missed at the end.

B+

Cute little Eline is not scared to be naked at all, and for that, I give her all kinds of mad props.

Review: Vinyan (2009)

This movie is my biggest disappointment of the year so far...

Cast Members of Note- Emmanuelle Beart, Rufus Sewell, and Julie Dreyfus.

A Tsunami displaces thousands of kids and turns them into face-painted Lord of the Flies cast-members, including the son of our main characters. For the first 4 minutes of this movie were treated to huge,-blocky lettered credits, and some water bubbling. I guess that was the Tsunami that washed away their son?

Meet the crazy and "not worth the trouble" wife.

Anyways, a distraught mother "sees" her believed-to-be-dead son on a video tape of Thai orphans, and makes her husband take them to the jungles of Thailand to find him. They receive the help of a Thai girly-boy, who helps them find an underworld gangster, who promptly takes half a million of their money to find the boy, then does nothing for them. Another wispy Thai gangster kills the first one, and promises to help them instead.

"You like girly-boy?"

The wife proceeds to draw in books, babble incessantly, tries to swim after a boat, randomly freaks out, gives money away behind her husband's back, hits her hubby with a rock, gets rubbed-up by a cadre of small children... and I have nothing else to say.

"Boo, were scary. Or not."

Gorgeous locations and striking visuals are the highpoint of this film. The usually great actors involved were unfortunately given some shit parts, and didn't have much to work with. I had high hopes for this one, and on some levels it delivered, but overall it was the poor actions of the main characters that did the movie in. Once it became ridiculous, I started to notice how slow and uneventful it really was, and by the time anything happened, I didn't care.

It sure looked pretty though.

Am I wrong, or was the last scene in the movie a grade school gang-bang in the making? VERY odd.

Putain!

I can't begin to tell you how annoying and nonsensical the wife was in this movie. She sees the back of a kid on a video tape who she thinks is her lost son, makes her husband go into the jungles of Thailand and pay some Thai criminals half a million dollars to help them find him, proceeds to act bat-shit crazy, then screws hubby over at the end with "You let him go?" I would have divorced her on the spot.

With a gun.

This movie is very light on the gore. Aside from one scene at the end, and a few brief flashes here and there, it was pretty bloodless.

It made our soul bleed though, so that counts.

We do get Emmanuelle Beart naked, but some of it was creepy-style.

Tres magnifique.

"Josh, go home!" That made me laugh out loud.

Always ditch your crazy wife, especially if another hot chick is all over you. Also, once again, kids suck.

You stay here, I'll be back never.

This movie is frustrating on many levels, and rewarding on very few. I think it pissed me off so much because it had a lot of promise, but really just shit the bed. Lots of people might like this, I'm just not ever going to be one of them.

D

Emmanuelle Beart is hot.