February 14, 2013

The Theatrical Trauma of February 15th

There's pretty much nothing coming out this week specifically for Horror fans, then again, it's the week of Valentine's Day, so maybe romance should be the order of the day.

As romantic movies go, the thought of going to see a new Nicholas Sparks movie makes us want to open our veins with a rusty screwdriver. Honestly, the guy uses the same exact story for every one of his books, and just changes certain plot elements around to make it "New." Then, since Hollywood knows that they can recycle the same old shit over and over again and people will lap it up, each movie version of said books gets some new C-level acting talent, and a new sweepingly grand love song to play over the trailer, and that also makes it "New." 

Ugh. Don't get me started.

For those of us who want to see anything but some shitty, bland, formulaic love story this week, our options are few.

A Good Day to Die Hard is the week's best bet. We love us some Bruce Willis around here, and even though the Die Hard series should have had the grace to end two movies ago, who are we to say no to some mindless violence and cheesy one liners? We're in.

Beautiful Creatures is Hollywood's newest attempt to lure lovelorn little girls into Theaters by opting every Young Adult book series on the market involving a combination of some sort of Supernatural hi-jinks and forbidden love, and turning it into the next Twilight. In all fairness, BC really can't be any worse than Twilight was, but that's no reason for us to go and see it. We'll pass. *We'd still vastly prefer this over Safe Haven. VASTLY.

So yeah, it's pretty much Die Hard or nothing this week, unless you're a 12 year old girl. Even if you are, stick with Die Hard. It's good for the soul.

dhbc170 x 250

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