January 3, 2013

2013 Horror/Genre Movie Preview: April - June

Here's part 2 of our 2013 Movie Preview, which covers April through June.

Keep in mind that movies will be added or removed from the schedule, and some may even be shuffled around... just ask Carrie; she moved from March to October, just like that!

Horror movies tend to get release dates later rather than sooner, so for now we'll just go with what we know is coming out, and adjust the Release Date List accordingly.

April 12th- Evil Dead- This movie REALLY has me all twisted up inside. On one hand, I consider it anathema to even attempt to remake this all-time classic fright flick, especially since the Ash in this one is not Bruce Campbell. Ash is to iconic just to re-cast and re-tool, IMO. Not real thrilled that Devil Coby was brought in to rewrite the script either, because she's just so annoyingly bad. As for the story... the whole "female Ash taking to the woods with friends to kick her drug habit" just makes me uneasy. I could go on, but you Horror fans already know what I'd say, because you're thinking it too. On the other hand, despite all of my instincts to the contrary, the trailer looks pretty damned good and it really does make me curious... Until April, I guess we'll just be hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Please let it not suck. Please.

April 12th- Scary Movie 5- Unlike the Evil Dead remake, there really is no hope at all for this movie. The trailer is painfully bad, and just knowing that Lindsay Lohan is involved gives us shivers of terror. No thank you.

April 12th- Oblivion- Say what you will about Tom Cruise -like"He's insane!" or "He's really insane!"- but the guy knows how to make some awesome action flicks. The trailer for this one didn't blow us away, but it looks interesting enough for us to give it a shot, especially with all of the gorgeous visuals on display. This one could end up being a lot of fun. We hope that it will.

April 26th- The Lords of Salem- Rob Zombie's got a lot to prove with this movie, at least as far as we're concerned. We loved 1000 Corpses and Rejects, and we thought Halloween was good for the most part, but he totally lost us with Halloween II and El Superbeasto, both of which we thought were terrible. Will Lords of Salem be a step in a  new direction for Zombie, or will it feel like a regurgitation of the same roads that he's traveled more than once in his Directing career? We hope it rocks, truly we do, but we're not holding our breath.

May 3rd- Iron Man 3- Unless you live under a rock, you know about this movie, and you know why it's going to be awesome. RDJ playing Tony Stark is a thing of beauty, and Marvel Superhero movies aren't painful to watch anymore; they're actually pretty damned good. This may be the movie to beat this summer, and really, it should be.

May 3rd- The Iceman- This movie looks so damned good, that it makes us want to slap our mama! Richard Kuklinski, the notorious mob hitman who claimed over 100 murders during his Iceman career, would have better been played by James Gandolfini in our opinion, at least visually, but Michael Shannon is a superb actor, and we're dying to see what he does with the part. This is easily one of our top 10 must see movies of 2013; we are absolute suckers for good mob movies. *On a side note, HBO made a terrific Documentary called The Iceman: Confessions of a Mafia Hitman, about Kuklinski and his life, and if you can find it out there on the Interwebs, you should check it out. It's haunting stuff.

May 17th- Stark Trek: Into Darkness- Everyone around here at THC has always been big fans of Star Trek... everyone except for me, that is. I always thought Star Trek, both on TV and in movie form, to be cheesy and lame. That's just me. The 2009 JJ Abrams helmed Star Trek movie changed my mind though. I loved that movie, and henceforth I'm really excited to see the sequel. I'm hoping it has Kahn in it.

May 17th- Black Rock- There's a funny little show on FX called The League, which we watch religiously around here. The League stars the Husband and Wife team of Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton. Mark wrote Black Rock, while wife Katie directed it. So, we're all sorts of intrigued... The trailer looks decent, although it looks as if it gave away most of the movie, but it is what it is. It also looks very reminiscent of one of our 2012 Midlin's, The Hike. Really reminiscent, lik eit's just about the same story. Still, the chance to see Lake Bell and Katie Aselton huddle together naked will not be lost on us.

June 14th- Man of Steel- Much like Star Trek, I've never really cared for Superman at all; he's just too powerful, and henceforth he's never really come across as very compelling to me. The trailers for Man of Steel have absolutely got me in tizzy though, and I think that this is the year where I change my stance on Supes for good. It looks like it's going to be a great movie, and I can not wait to see what Henry Cavill does in the titular role.

June 21st- World War Z- Ugh. The book World War Z by Max Brooks (comedy legend Mel Brooks' kid) was a truly amazing read, and we were ecstatic to see that they were making a movie out of it... but then we caught wind of the plot, and the fact that the movie was going to be nothing like the book, and we were distressed. Then we saw the trailer. We're really not sure what this movie is going to end up playing like, but we're not too optimistic; huge on set issues, re-writes, release date delays... this could be the biggest misstep at the box office in 2013. We hope it wont be, but it it is, we'll always have the book. *If you haven't read the book, you really should. It's good stuff.

June 28th- Kick Ass 2- We loved Kick Ass, and we're all for seeing its sequel. Chloe Moretz has aged since the last movie, so that means Hit-Girl will look more like and adult than a kid, but that's a minor concern. It's just gonna be a fun time, nothing more, nothing less, and honestly, we're all for it. Even with Jim Carrey involved.

We'll be back soon with our look at the movies of July- Spetember...


  1. World War Z the book even mentioned my hometown. A shitty little town in South Wales called Caerphilly where i spent many years drinking cheap cider and fingering girls in the castle grounds. I was gobsmacked that Caerphilly castle got a couple of pages in this epic novel. It's famous for being the largest castle in Europe with a moat or something boring like that. The tourists love it as much as the undead. The book failed to mention if the occupiers of the castle made runs to the nearby Tescos and Morrisons to stock up on cider and mead.

    The trailer looks pretty fucking dubious with dodgy CGI and running zombies climbing up walls in their thousands. Hmm..

  2. Yeah Rhinocerous, the book was great and the movie definitely looks dodgy.

    And as a person descended from a long line of Greer's and Morrison's, I love it when any story takes place in Ireland, Scotland or England.

    Someday I will come find my kin!