March 29, 2012

Guilty Pleasure- The Mad (2007)

Every now and then we come across a movie that we really shouldn't like, but end up loving. Alright, maybe not loving, but liking. Such is the case with the 2007 Canadian Virus/Infected flick, The Mad.

These days, anything starring Billy Zane gives us pause; the guy used to star in some great movies, but seems to have gone the route of starring in any b-movie script that comes his way. We're cool with that. He should work as often as possible and make as much $$$ as he can. He's earned a lifetime of credit with us for his work in Demon Knight alone. If we're being honest though, some of this movies like Leprechaun's Revenge or The Kill Hole don't exactly scream quality to us, you know? The Kill Hole... based on title alone that movie is begging to be reviewed by us.

The Mad is the story of a Father and Daughter being attacked by some infected style zombies, and some evil, organic hamburger patties. You see, the local grown beef is tainted with some crazy virus that makes people go Mad when they eat it. Also, the beef, when in patty form, will latch onto someones face and try to kill them. Sound crazy? Well, it's Canadian, so that goes without saying.

When good hamburger goes bad.
This is a cheesy, goofy, ridiculous horror comedy that spoofs the whole Virus/Infected Zombie genre. It's saved from completely sucking by some good production values, and some fun acting by the cast. Chief amongst them is of course Billy Zane, who turned what should have been an embarrassing role, into one that was fun as all hell. In all fairness, it may still be embarrassing, but you know what, it was still fun.

The hot as Canadian-sin Maggie Castle plays his daughter, and not only is she nice to look at, but she's pretty funny herself. You can catch her on the Canadian TV show Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, which is playing on Fearnet right now! Like right this minute, we think. The equally hot Jordan Madely is in this too, and we've loved her ever since seeing her in 5ive Girls, which oddly enough was another of our guilty pleasures.Maybe it's Canada that is the true guilty pleasure.

We should probably mention Shauna MacDonald next, but instead we're going to give some love to a guy named Rothaford Gray.If you look at his name, it looks as if his parents could have been trend setters and not even known it. These days, you get all kinds of guys running around calling each other Broham or Broseph... a practice which makes us wish that Frat Boys would be banned from society and deemed a danger to society. Well, if you add a "B" to Rothaford's name, you get Brothaford. Saying "What's up, Brothaford?" seems a lot less ginky than the other "Bro" greetings. Why? Because white people suck at sounding cool and making up good slang. You know I'm right. Aside from the cool name, Rothaford was pretty fun in this flick too. Still, it's the name that puts him over the top.

Don't ever call him Brothaford in person. He doesn't like it.
Of course if you don't like cheesy, tongue-in-cheek Canadian humor, then this movie will do nothing for you. It really is all crazy stupid, whether in a fun way or not. So I guess, just beware.

There's plenty of blood and gore all throughout this one; blood sprays, people are bitten, heads are severed, the infected are shot, stabbed and otherwise messily dispatched. It's a humorous flick, but it doesn't go lightly on the messy business.

It's Goreific!
Aside from some implied oral hi-jinks and an older man caught romancing a blow up doll, there's no dirty stuff to be found here. It's a shame, really, because the movie definitely had some potential for hot chick nakedness. At least we got to see Maggie Castle all sweaty and scantily clad... and in pigtails.

She is a sassy misbehaver!
The one with the crazy bouncing head, or, the whole hamburger patty attack sequence. For our money, both are equally rewarding.

That's exactly the reaction we had.
When the mood strikes and we find ourselves in desperate need for some wacky, zany, crazy horror comedy that will make us smile and forget how horrible most other cheap horror flicks are, The Mad is just the type of flick we seek out. Good horror comedies are a true rarity, and this one pretty much delivers the goods. We're not saying it's LOL funny, but it is amusing and goofy enough to earn out affection. Plus, hot Canadian chicks.

As it turns out, Canadian chicks are quite pleasant to look at. Also, the Shauna MacDonald in this movie is not the Shauna MacDonald from The Descent. Who knew there were two of them?

March 27, 2012

Release Dates for April/May

We've updated the release dates for April and May, which of course include Theatrical, DVD, VOD, TV and Foreign Releases.

Click the pic above and check it out to help you plan all of your horror watching needs.It's pretty comprehensive.

No, really... it's pretty comprehensive.

It's also a constant work in progress, so pardon the dust..

DVD Releases for March 27

March is closing out with a cheesy, b-movie bang as far as DVDs go.

The only sure bet for us is the MST3K box set, which is the 23rd they've released. Crazy robots making fun of bad movies is a beautiful thing, and gets our money every time. If you enjoy laughing, then the Mystery Science Theater crew should be a part of your collection without a doubt.

As for Camel Spiders, Die and Monster Brawl... well, we're not expecting much, but you never know. If you like the crazy style of Roger Corman, you may like Camel Spiders. Die looks as if it could be an interesting low budget flick, because we're always willing to give Elias Koteas a chance. Monster Brawl strikes me as being a one way ticket to suck city, but since Kevin Nash is in it (and we're NWO 4 Life), we will give it an open-minded chance.

The two old school re-issues of the group could be fun. Strip Nude for Your Killer looks like some cheesy Sexploitation/Slasher action, which really could go either way. The Girl in Room 2A looks pretty bad, but again, you never know with those schlocky 70's flicks.


March 26, 2012

While we're on the topic of The Hunger Games...

... which everyone seems to be after this weekend's massive opening, let's take a look at something that involves Jennifer Lawrence.

Now, House at the End of the Street was supposed to be released twice already; first in February of this year, and then it was shifted to April. It's no surprise that producers moved it yet again, this time to September 20th, to allow Hunger Games mania to build up interest in their star. It should open pretty big now, for a smaller horror flick. Free advertising, basically.

In all honesty, it looks to be another tame PG-13 outing that probably wont do much for most horror fans, us included. For the millions of girls who now call Jennifer L. their hero because she played a girl named Katpiss on screen, we think they'll show up to check her out. In droves.

The hottest actress in the world right now sweating profusely in a wife beater... how can that possibly go wrong?

March 25, 2012

The Hunger Games (2012)
(aka Not Another Twilight)
Release Date: In Theaters Now.
Written by: Suzanne Collins and Gary Ross
Directed by: Gary Ross (Steven Soderbergh directed the riot sequence)
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Hemsworth, Stanley Tucci, Wes Bentley and Donald Sutherland.

$155 million in its first weekend. That's third all time behind The Dark Knight and The Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Not bad for a movie that many thought was going to be the starting point for another Twilight-esque franchise.

I thought that at first. I was wrong.

THG is the story of a Post-Apocalyptic Society and its Government's mistreatment of its poorest citizens. Each year, the Government of Panem selects 2 kids between the ages of 12-18 from its 12 Districts, puts them in an arena, and makes them kill each other until only one remains alive? Why? Because they want to keep them in line, and remind the citizens that they can crush them at any time. In other words, do as we say or die.

Katniss Everdeen is a feisty poor girl who can kill with a bow like nobodies business. She volunteers for the games to take the place of her little sister,  and is forced to fight for her life aside some boy who gave her some burnt-assed bread one time when they were little.

You already know the plot, I'm sure, so that's all we've got on this subject.

A picture from the leather bondage sex scene. It was very artistic.
For being a book adaptation, and one that was aimed primarily at young adults, THG works well on nearly every level. It's emotional, tense, disturbing, and triumphant. Gary Ross knew what he was doing when he decided to tackle this subject matter, and it shows. Aside from some annoying shaky-cam moments, this is a really well made film.

Jennifer Lawrence owned the screen as Katniss. She's always been a great actress, but now the world knows, and she's aboutt be thrust into the A-List Stratosphere. Same could be said for Josh Hutcherson; his subdued and romantically tortured Peeta beamed with charisma and no doubt dampened the panties of Teen Girls everywhere. He's probably going to have some stalkers now.

We wish that some of the supporting characters could have had more to do. This is Katniss's story, and rightly so, but Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks and Lenny Kravitz were so good in their roles, that they just begged for more screen time. Then again, everyone nailed their parts. Donald Sutherland was the perfect evil President Snow, Stanley Tucci was joyously good as Ceasar Flickerman, and Wes Bentley was great as Seneca Crane. Top to bottom, the cast was amazing, and no one felt out of place in the slightest.

Even the lesser-known actors who played the tributes (contestants) were good. Most of them were "kids" and had relatively smaller roles to play, but they were all great.

The best drunk ever (except for maybe Arthur.)
The worst thing about THG are all of the misconceptions people had about the movie before it was even released; It's a rip off of Battle Royale; It's a rip off of The Running Man; It's another Twilight, complete with a silly love triangle...

No, no, and most definitely not.

First and foremost, THG is not another Twilight. There is no shallow, moronic, paper-thin girl character to be found here, obsessing over two boys and which one is going to take her to prom. There's an undercurrent of romance and unrequited love perhaps, but it is not the point of the story in any way.

There's no "Team Peeta!" and no "Team Gale!"  If that's what you want, just go watch Twilight another twenty times and wallow in your sad perception of what romance is.

THG is also not a rip off of Battle Royale, The Running Man, or anything else that people feel is too similar in plot. There are elements that are the same, absolutely, but it's its own story. At their core, any movie, or book for that matter, made/written these days has been done before, and you just cant escape that fact. So yes, kids being gathered by the Government and thrown together to fight to the death was done in Battle Royale. People watching The Hunger Games on TV and treating the participants like celebrities is akin to The Running Man in a way.

Remember though that most fantasy is familiar with Lord of The Rings, Most gangster dramas are The Godfather, most Bourne-like spy thrillers are pretty much James Bond, and every slasher since 1978 is Halloween. We could go on, but the point is clear; every archetype has its starting point. To be fair, the idea for THG and its themes began with the Greek Myth of Theseus, Reality TV, and the U.S. war in Iraq. Ideas come from everywhere, and sometimes, multiple places at once. If there's anything that isn't original, it's the audiences that eat them up.

Despite the premise of the movie, the blood and violence were kept to a minimum in The Hunger Games, because, kids.

It is so not that kind of movie. It's a shame too, because Elizabeth Banks and Jennifer Lawrence are both Hotties, and seeing them naked would have served the story just fine: "Katniss, scared and alone, clings to Effie... in the bathtub... where they are naked. Together, they discover a new sort of Hunger Games..."

Works for us.

Probably Katniss singing to Rue. If not that, any scene involving Woody Harrelson, because he's just that awesome.

We're also really partial to this scene, but it's really more of a moment than a scene, so we digress.
If you give a starving girl some bread, she will kill for you. Also, Catching Fire, the sequel that will hit theaters in November of 2013, will be a ridiculously monstrous mega-hit.

The Hunger Games is a winner all around, and not just for the kiddies; it may look like standard Teen fare, but it's far from that. Courage, sacrifice, making a stand, rebellion, even the love of ones family; you could safely say that The Hunger Games is about all of those things and more. It's not perfect, and it misses the mark by skipping out on few elements that didn't make it from book to screen, but overall it's a hell of a movie that deserves much of the hype surrounding it.


The hotness of Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Banks makes sure that the odds are ever in our favor... the dirty, dirty odds. On a side note, how can you not love a girl who refers to her own character as Katpiss Neverclean? Jennifer Lawrence did just that. True story.