December 30, 2011
2011 certainly gave horror fans everywhere more than a few clunkers.There's always good and bad movies that come into our lives, but sinking below all of the rest of them are the worst of the worst. The movies that piss you off because you wasted time watching them, or were fooled into believing that they might be good. The ones that defile your sense of taste and make you question your own humanity. The ones that hurt.
Is this list in order, from the worst to the 10th worst horror flick of 2011? Not really, because each in their own way was the worst genre movie of the year. Make a game out of it and make up your own order if you like. We just want to list them and put them out of our minds as quickly as we possibly can.
George Michael in a dirty rest stop. *For the record, we love Wham... Is somebody kidding?... Jesus fuck, even the music is painful. I'm pretty sure this singer is having a seizure... Yes, please kill yourself so that... You can heal immediately and the movie can continue. Fuck... Whoever wrote this shit ought to be beaten with a book. A big book.... Q: Which is worse, the writing or the acting? A: Yes... Still haven't seen a werewolf... What a surprise... A gaggle of shirtless guys... This movie makes me long for Twilight... And that's the same thing as longing for death... They look like poodles lol... This may have been the worst movie of 2011." That should just about cover it.
11-11-11 just to capitalize on the date? We hope so, because if he actually though he had a good script on his hands, were scared to trust his judgement anymore going forward. Unremarkable, that's maybe the best way to put it. It's one of those movies that you forget while still watching it.
Check below for the rest of the naughty list of 2011 movies...
In this category, I'd rather be an also ran. Sure, these movies sucked, but there are 10 movies that sucked even worse than these did, so really, I'd rather suck less. The movies on this list are frustrating, confounding, confusing, ridiculous, messy, pointless or just plain bad.
We understand that making a movie is a tough job; even the worst of movies have a cast and crew of people behind them that break their ass, and sometimes try their absolute hardest, but just fall short. For those folks, having their movie on a worst of list should be a learning experience. It's the movies that sucked kid, not you. Take the feedback, learn from it, and make a better movie next time. Plenty of great filmmakers and actors have made some shit movies, and yet they rebounded just fine. Keeping telling your stories from the heart, and people will eventually listen.
For the other kind of filmmakers, the ones who either don't care or think they're great when they actually suck, just give up now. This category is most reserved for studio execs who greenlight crap movies to turn a quick buck, and sucker well intentioned fans into wasting their time and money on movies that had little or no effort and creativity put into them. You need to stop wasting our time and money. there are filmmakers out there will talent and genuine passion that can use the resources and promotion that are wasted on your films, so give over and let them shine.
That being said, before we get to the 10 worst flicks of the year, here are the also rans. It could have been worse, right?
What exactly is a Middlin'? You know, it's like the old phrase "Fair to middlin'." It means Okay, decent, alright, not good but not bad. It means average. If a movie is Middlin', it's riding the middle between being good or bad. Think of it as a sort of limbo.
The movies on this years Middlin' list were either not good enough to be on any Best of List, or not bad enough to be on the Shit List. They all had equal amounts of good aspects and troubling issues. Should you see these movies, if they're so average? Sure. If one of them strikes your fancy, give it a shot, You might love it. Just remember, you also might not.