November 22, 2011

Quick review round-up

For a movie made on a $5,000 (U.S.) budget, Blood Runs Cold is a masterpiece. We didn't particularly love it, but for having absolutely nothing to work with budget wise, these filmmakers deserve a pat on the back.

This Swedish film is a slasher, through and through, though it's a clumsy slasher at best. It's at least got some gore and nudity, which are the staples of any good slasher movie. As far as plot, script, acting and everything else goes... the movie is obviously lacking in most departments.

Keep in mind though, for a budget that was basically non-existent, what they did here is quite an accomplishment. I can't say I'd recommend this one to anybody, but then again, I feel like I should because it deserves a little bit of love based on thriftiness alone.

Also, the killer looks like the guy from the Fritt Vilt series. Just wanted to mention that in hopes of starting a Swede/Nord movie war of some sort.

The movie is truly in the D range, but we have to give it a C for being the best $5000 movie we've ever seen.

Alyce is the story of two slutty bar whores, one of whom pushes the other off of a roof while high, and ends up going bat-shit crazy from her guilt.

For a movie that uses the phrase "delves into a brutal nightmare wonderland of sex, drugs and violence" in it's description, you'd think they'd have gone a bit further down the exploitation road with it. The only thing that gets crazy explicit was the violence, and that wasn't until the very end for the most part.

It's definitely a psych-job of a movie, which turns into a Torture Porn kinda thing in the last 20 minutes or so... and let us just say that the ending does get plenty bloody and nasty.

The problem is that the rest of the movie leading up to that point was slow and uneventful. Alyce turns to drugs to cope with her demons, but there's not a ton of sex. Maybe it's better to call the movie uneven as opposed to uneventful. There's plenty of drama to be had, it's just that nothing much "happens" until the end.

As a psychological drama, the movie works well. As a Horror flick, it's middle of the road.


8213: Gacy House had its moments. It was creepy here and there, but it was such a stupid movie that in the end, the few moments of scary were easily forgotten.

The fact that it was a Found Footage/POV flick is what hurt it the most, with its characters acting in asinine ways simply to keep the POV going until the end of the movie, so that there could be a movie at all.

It works as a comedy, albeit a tasteless one; the scene of Gacy's ghost pantsing a guy and dragging him down the hallway to get some gay-ghost rape was pretty funny.

The dialogue was great too, with characters roaming around the house asking "Gacy... are you down here?", "Let us know your presence is here", "Are there any dead boys in that crawlspace?", "Dammit Gacy! How frank do I have to be with you!"

It's comical. Almost sadly so.

Unless you're a Hand Held/Found Footage flick junkie, you should just skip this one altogether, although you could go ahead and watch this if you like to laugh at really shitty movies.


  1. A bit off topic, I wanted to ask you: do you know of any slasher movie that features a pretty inept killer? I am thinking of something that starts the usual way of teens in the woods or whatever, and someone is trying to kill them, but he is really bad at it and almost doesn't succeed. He would get scared and hunted by his victims on occasions, go back into it and so forth. That would be a slasher worth watching, but I doubt no one has had the idea before, so... as the expert on this... can you think of a film like that?

  2. I've been thinking on this for a few days now, Side, and I can only imagine this plot happening in a spoof.

    It feels like what you describe should sound familiar, or maybe it's just something that you should sit down and write, and help make it the first of its kind.

  3. Well, Angustia pretty much fits the description... I know I liked it because the killer was such a clutz. There must be more like that out there.