January 2, 2011
The Worst of 2010
2010 was filled to the brim with shitty movies. Here's the crap of the crop. Check out the original reviews if you want the in depth skinny as to why these movies were so bad.
Skyline- (Check the review here) This movie was so dreadfully bad, so sadly laughable, that I don't even know where to start. Skyline tricked us into thinking it was going to be another District 9; a lower budget movie that made the most out of what it had, and gave us a happy surprise for our money... but no. It made little sense, gave us unlikable characters, wasted some pretty decent acting talent and cool looking aliens, and offered us one of the worst ending sequences in recent memory. Say what you will, but this was an insultingly poor effort all around. We can only pray that there won't be a sequel. Ever.
The Descent Part 2- (Check the review here) "Shit runs deep." That should have been the tag line on the poster, and it would have been perfectly fitting. Gone is any trace of the brilliance that made 2007's The Descent an instant classic, and in its place we get a cheesy, overacted, and mind bottling mess of epic proportions. It was as if everyone involved was trying to make an over the top, melodramatic parody of the first movie, only I think they were really trying to make a good sequel. Lucky for the movie that Skyline came out this year too, because at least one movie got it more wrong than this one did.
My Soul to Take- This movie pains me to list as one of the years best, but it had so much potential and ended up being tame and fairly lame. The concept of this movie was a strong one, and had Wes Craven stuck with that, he may have had a fun little movie on his hands. Instead, we get the supernatural O-Ke Doke and the plot turns to an uninspiring killer with confusing and silly motives who uses silly means to get the killing done. Wes Craven is still fantastic, but this movie just fell way to short of good for such a horror master as he.
Cabin Fever 2- (Check the review here) I understand now why Ti West wanted his name taken off of this movie. It took me a while to warm up to the first Cabin Fever, but in the end I think it's a campy, fun as hell little modern day cult classic. I was hoping for more of the same with the sequel, but it was such a mess, that I wonder how much crack/meth/crystallized Drano was smoked when they added the re-shoots and re-edits that ruined what might have been a cool flick. Oh yeah, the producers and studio execs did all of that. This movie is a perfect example why people need to let directors direct.
Survival of the Dead- (Check the review here) With zombies being the latest popular trend in horror, you'd think that the master of undead storytelling would be at the top of the heap, leading the pack and showing the rest how it's done... but alas, George Romero has made his 2nd bad zombie movie in a row. Like Wes Craven, Romero definitely deserves out love as horror fans, but the fact that this movie was boring and unremarkable is just as true. This one makes the top of the list because it should have been far better.
The Dishonorable Mentions- Paintball, 2010 Moby Dick, The Maze, Splice, The Rig, Sharktopus, The Tortured, The Final, Don't Look Up, The Tomb, Road Kill, Knife Edge, Pig Hunt, Suicide Girls Must Die, Alone in the Dark II, The Caretaker, Open Graves, Creature of Darkness, Necrosis, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil, Demonic Toys 2, Vampires Suck.
We will be back soon with the Fair-to-Midlin's and the Best of the Year...