The Master says: To have seen this horrible film adaptation of a pretty fun video game is akin to having seen your father making love to the turkey the night before Thanksgiving; they're both thoroughly cringe-inducing, unsanitary, clumsy, ridiculous, and you will never, ever, never get that image out of your head. Ever.
Aside from the shoddy acting, script, and Uwe Boll's craptacular direction, this movie fails at trying to be like an actual video game. Complete with crazy bullet-time action shots, dumb-ass kids that suddenly become deadly Zombie-killing mercenaries out of nowhere, Zombies that die from machete wounds, Zombies that are defeated by lame wire-fu Karate moves, and inter-cut with actual scenes from the video game itself, it's really insane how horribly horrible this horrible movie is.
In April 2008, Uwe Boll promised to retire if an online petition gained 1 million signatures asking him to do so. I pray to every God or deity that exists, please make this happen. I swear that if he retires, I'll stop watching clown porn, and let the kittens out of the "Hamper." I swear.