July 26, 2009

The Week in "Do Not Want!"

After a few weeks with no DO NOT WANT's, we have once again struck horror fool's gold...
  Blood: The Last Vampire- Wow, I can't believe what an awful, laughable, utter mess this movie is. If you see this, you will be angry for having wasted your time. If for some reason you like this, or think it good, then you're most likely slow in the brain.

1- The acting is atrocious for the most part. Seriously unbelievable. Allison Miller was okay some of the time, but even she was bad. Onegen and the General were amongst the worst performances I've seen all year. Maybe ever.
2- The script is just ridiculous. Whoever wrote the dialogue should be ashamed of themselves, and everything that happened in this movie was just laughable. The schoolgirl sword fight was the low-light for me... and that's saying a lot.
3- The CGI blood and gore is horrible... is Karo Syrup and red dye too expensive to use in movies these days? I've never seen a worse blood effect in a movie. Ever.

At least Allison Miller is adorable, that's one thing.

I can't hate on Skeleton Crew like I do some DO NOT WANT movies (see above for an example), but in the end, this one left me flat and wondering what happened. Nothing really happens in this movie. It's slow and plodding, and the actors that should carry us through such trying minutes fail at making us care. The guy who played the director was just bad. The snuff/torture scenes were pretty good and tough to watch, but that's about the only thing good. Not even lesbian sex could save this one, and that's saying a lot coming from me.

Insane Sheep says "They're baaaaaad!"

1 comment :

  1. Agreed...I actually walked out on Skeleton Crew.